


Misanthropy

by angstyun



Series: The Misanthropy Universe [1]
Category: TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: Absent Parents, Adorable Choi Soobin, Aged-Up Character(s), Alcohol, Alternate Universe - Gangsters, Angst, Angst and Humor, Bad Boy Choi Yeonjun, Bad boy Kang Taehyun, Best Friends Choi Beomgyu & Choi Yeonjun, Best Friends Huening Kai & Kang Taehyun, Body Language, Brutal Murder, Childhood Friends, Comedy, Death, Drinking, Fluff and Angst, Gambling, Gang Leader Choi Yeonjun, Gang Violence, Gangs, Gen, Gun Violence, Heavy Angst, Illegal Activities, Minor Character Death, Murder, Orphans, Poverty, Sad, Serious Injuries, Stabbing, Swearing, Torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-02
Updated: 2020-12-31
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:01:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 21
Words: 57,218
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23445898
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angstyun/pseuds/angstyun
Summary: Yeonjun is a gang leader with a stark hatred of the human race. He never chose to be in this position, let alone at such a young age. People think they can walk right over him, yet that simply isn't the case. If somebody threatens his family, they should be prepared to meet their end.
Series: The Misanthropy Universe [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1881064
Comments: 134
Kudos: 262





	1. Chance

"Higher or lower?"

His heart raced in his chest, sweat dripping from his brow. It was as if an earthquake was coursing through his body; his hands shook violently in his lap. 

The man tapped the table, counting every single second of his wasted time and taking it very personally. His sharp eyes bore a hole into his handcuffed prisoner, waiting for an answer to leave his lips. 

"Well come on. We don't have all day."

The card mocked him from the table, sneering, knowing his fate was sealed. He couldn't comprehend an answer. His life rested on an even scale: one way to heaven and another to hell. One step in either direction would topple it, sending him flying to his fate. 

"Higher."

His breath wobbled, the words coming out as nothing but a weak whimper. It was too late to regret what he had done. He never should have tried to cheat Choi Yeonjun out of his money, nor even considered it in the first place. Now his life was out of his hands and in the barrel of the young masters gun.

Before the cheater could regret his decision, he was sprawled out on the ground, drowning in his blood. The bullet hole in his forehead was intricate and precise, exactly in the centre. 

Throwing the card onto his lifeless body, Yeonjun licked his lips. He had no time for liars. 

“Clean this mess up.” 

Betrayal led only to one thing in his eyes. He had to make examples, especially in those who he had deeply trusted.

Yeonjun put the gun in his pocket, wiping his hands on a cloth. He adjusted his pristine white collar and grabbed his suit jacket from his guard. Looks were important to Yeonjun; one tiny spec of blood was enough to warrant a full outfit change. 

“Let’s go.” 

He turned his back on the body without a second thought. It was insignificant to him, a passing moment that mattered little in the bigger scheme of things. He wouldn’t forget. As much as he tried to ignore the images, he wasn’t superhuman. Murder affected him greatly.

Maybe more than it should. 

“Sir. Your schedule is empty until your meeting with Mr Kim in a few hours.” 

Yeonjun paced down the hall with great haste, enjoying the sight of his guard running to keep up. It was a fun game he liked to play. 

"We're going to the casino." 

Walking outside, he took a moment to inhale the fresh air. The smell of blood was anything but enticing to Yeonjun. He was not cut out to be a killer.

He unlocked his  Mercedes-Benz, the click of the locks bringing him great satisfaction. Yeonjun had never really had a great love of vehicles but he could always appreciate the aesthetics of a freshly polished car. 

Throwing the keys to his guard, he slid into the back seat. The interior was very pleasing to him, not a scratch or flaw in sight. Perfection was something that he didn't take lightly. 

"Cigarette sir?'

Yeonjun denied with a shake of his hand. He had been clean for many weeks now and he was not going to break that streak. 

The ride to the casino was always pleasant like a nice cool drink on a summer day. It reminded him of fond memories, melancholic feelings. There was nothing bad about the place nowadays, and although he would never admit it, Yeonjun enjoyed going there.

The building looked plain from the outside, chips in the wall and peeling paint. There would be no way of suspecting its hidden treasures. 

Yeonjun stepped out of the car, the eerie sound of silence filling his ear. It seemed so quiet for the ruckus that lay beneath his feet, yet he wouldn't have it any other way.

The stone stairs inside led to another universe, the music growing louder with every step. 

Walking in the fluorescent door, the potent smell of alcohol tickled his nostrils. It was too strong for his liking but it made him smirk at the prospect of someone else's  perpetual misery. The glow of the chandeliers illuminated the tables below. Money was scattered across them, it’s colour stark against the deep fabric red. It was noisy, cheers of hysteria mixed with sobs of anguish. The chatter drowned out the live classical jazz, but Yeonjun didn’t mind, he didn’t come here to listen to music. 

A young boy stood behind the counter, wiping water from clean glasses with a white cloth. He stacked them neatly back into their places. His brown curly hair covered his eyes slightly, concealing the truth that lay beneath. 

Yeonjun always believed that the truth could be uncovered through the window to the soul. He approached the bar with intention, the glasses glistening against the harsh beaming lights. 

Leaning on the bar was the man he had come to see, playing with a deck of cards and sipping on a Dry Martini. Although he was stupidly young, he was intelligent beyond his years. Some even said he was a psychic, predicting the future of nearly every impossible event. They were wrong though. He wasn’t a mystic; he was simply a trickster. His technical  sleight of hand would have anybody deceived, even those with the most cunning of brains. 

"Wasn't expecting to see you today Mr Choi."

Without even moving an inch, the boy had sensed the elders' presence. It froze the leader in his spot for a moment, questioning whether it was his aura or his footsteps that gave him away. The boy swiped his fiery hair away from his eyes and turned to look at him. 

"How's everything going Taehyun?"

Yeonjun dismissed his bodyguard, sending him out of earshot. He didn’t like when he crowded around and intruded in on his conversation. And besides, it would make the young boys feel obligated to call him by his title. They were like younger brothers to him. Nobody could know of their relationship, but it was strange to hear the formal title come from their lips.

"Fancy a drink Yeonjun?"

The youngest asked with a wide smile. He would often be smiling, giggling whilst doing his work. It seemed, whilst his older brother became immersed into a world of sin, he retained a sort of childlike innocence.

"Go on then. Double. Make it strong."

Taehyun guided him to the table, pulling out his chair. He was a polite boy with soft hazel eyes, deceiving others of his true nature. He was sly, a fox of the gambling world. He had no mercy for disgusting aristocrats who abused their power, and nobody could blame him. 

Taking a seat, they smiled kindly at one another. Nobody would ever suspect evil streaming through their veins.

"Here you go."

The bartender set down the glasses carefully, alongside Taehyun’s paperwork. He straightened his waistcoat and bowed his head. 

"Thanks, Kai."

He grinned with a smile sweeter than candy, heading back to the bar and continuing to dry his glasses. 

Yeonjun raised his glass, the warmth of his hand creating condensation. 

"Cheers"

The boys clinked their shots together, before downing them in one swift movement. They both vividly convulsed. They could feel the alcohol running down their throat, burning their insides.

Taehyun cleared his throat, the alcohol taking an effect on his system. Trying to refocus on the task, he set down his glass.

"It's been hectic Yeonjun but profit has been skyrocketing. The idiots are so easy to bankrupt. They seem to be eager to throw their money away."

Taehyun slid the papers over to his boss, making a conscious effort to point out the increase in profit. He smirked.

"They bet more and more, get addicted to the feeling of the cards in their hands. Then before you know it, they're begging in front of your desk for mercy."

Yeonjun couldn't help but grin at the profits. They were outstanding, even more so since Taehyun took over as the head. The boy was a genius in trickery and Yeonjun couldn't get enough of it. 

Yeonjun looked out across the building, affluents spilling their undeserved earnings on their selfish desire to be even richer. It made him sick. They were thoughtless, lacking the conscience to think of those suffering at their egotistical hands. 

"But that's how you make money. It’s not my problem they can't handle the heat."

Taehyun played with his deck of cards, shuffling them nonchalantly. He had always dreamed of becoming a magician. It was close to his heart, after all, cards were one of the only things he had back then.

Swilling the dregs of his drink in his glass, Yeonjun laughed. He watched his little brother's hands at work, flipping and reordering the cards in a matter of seconds. 

"If you have time, fancy a game?"

Taehyun asked, a sly smile situated on his lips. He never failed to challenge his boss whenever he could. There weren't many things that Taehyun could beat him in, but cards were definitely one of them. 

“Go on then. One game can’t hurt.”

Yeonjun chuckled, gesturing Kai to refill his beverage. The tall boy came over quickly, passing him another double. 

Taehyun shuffled the cards with ease, before dealing them out at an athlete's pace. The satisfying sound of the cards rearranging had made his dewy-eyes turn to a piercing glare. Only one thing mattered in that instant, beating his opponent. 

“So, how’s Kai been?” 

Taehyun looked over to the bar, watching the boy spin a coin across the marble countertop. He smiled solemnly, his eyes softening again for a moment.

“Quieter than usual. Let's just say some of the guests...can become quite violent.” 

Yeonjun nodded and played his cards. He couldn’t help but notice the dry blood on Taehyun's hands or the broken skin on his knuckles. He couldn’t stop the guilt from rising from his stomach, the acid burning inside of him.

“We’re fine though Yeonjun. I’m dealing with it.” 

Although Yeonjun knew Taehyun was capable of protecting himself, he couldn’t help but worry about what was happening behind the scenes. Taehyun was young, only ever knowing a life of suffering and self-defence. Yeonjun had brought him here to keep him safe, yet he feared he was doing more harm than good. 

“You have to let others in sometimes Taehyun. No matter what you like to think, you're not strong enough to face everything alone.” 

The trickster rubbed his neck, playing a card that put Yeonjun in a tight spot. He sighed. 

“I know. You don’t have to tell me.” 

For as long as he could remember, he had picked up the pieces. He never had much opportunity to be a kid, playing around in the neighbourhood or getting a quality education. From a young age, he’d been fending for himself, reading for himself. If nobody was going to teach him about the world, he would make it his mission to self educate. 

Taehyun placed down his last card, a triumphant smirk forming upon his lips. He threw his hands up in the air, rejoicing in another victory.

"Win 301. Better luck next time." 

Yeonjun sighed and twirled the card around in his fingers. He couldn't resist his mouth turning up at the edges, a smile of admiration forming on his face. Before he could get too comfortable however, he was disturbed by a looming figure. 

"Sir, my dearest apologies for disturbing you."

Yeonjun gestured his guard to continue, downing the shot. The burning sensation warmed his heart for a moment before it froze over once again. 

"You have a meeting with a potential client in the next hour. If I may be so brash as to make a suggestion, I think we should be on our way soon."

The leader sighed, readjusting his shirt cuffs. Yeonjun hated being in a position of power. He had to stay clear of those important to him, act as if he didn’t give a damn. There was no room for fun or a casual walk around town. It wasn’t just a game; it was life or death. 

“Go to the car. I’ll be there in 10 minutes precisely. If I’m any longer, presume I’m dead.”

Bowing his head, the guard chuckled slightly. He turned on his heels without another word, exiting the casino with a slam of the door. 

“I better be off then Taehyun.”

Taehyun was up in an instant, bowing his head in politeness. It was clear that he held a great level of respect for his elder.

“It was nice to see you. I hope your meeting goes well.”

Yeonjun rose from his seat and looked at Taehyun, watching him gesture his brother over. Whenever Yeonjun was around the boys, his heart would be warmed and softened. It would always take him a short while to regain his ice-cold  demeanour. They were a weakness to him, but he couldn’t help but feel some sort of parental feeling towards them. After all, he had saved them not so long ago. 

“Will we see you again soon Yeonjun?” 

The youngest chirped up, appearing quickly in front of him. Finally brushing his hair away from his eyes, he hid slightly behind Taehyun. 

Yeonjun chuckled, taking a good look into his eyes. They were soft, yet the fear resonating in them was unmissable. The boy always seemed to be wary of him, even after all this time. Maybe it was because he didn’t trust him, or maybe he simply loathed him for turning his brother into a monster. 

Yeonjun couldn’t tell. 

“Most likely next week. I’m very busy this week. But if you have any trouble, you give me a call, okay?”

Kai nodded, playing with the button on his shirt cuff and holding onto his brother's shoulder. Yeonjun couldn’t help but take notice of how his eyes cast down to Taehyun’s roughed up hands, guilt displayed bluntly on his face. 

“Somebody keeps trying to deal with everything on his own.”

Taehyun rolled his eyes, ushering Yeonjun to get going. It was impossible to avoid laughing, sending the three of them into short-lived hysterics. 

Before long, it was time for Yeonjun to go. He smiled softly, before turning away harsh and fierce. He had a reputation to fulfil, no matter his personal wishes or aspirations

Just as he was approaching the door, he locked eyes on a familiar individual. He was glowing, his black turtle neck striking against his pale complexion. His dark hair was perfectly parted, making Yeonjun very aesthetically pleased. He adjusted his suit. 

“Soobin.”

The gentle giant turned around in an instant, bowing his head, a charming smile displayed on his face. It had been a long time since Soobin had seen his boss. He was a sort of angel to him, a saviour that had fixed his life when things were at their lowest. 

"Sir. It's a pleasure to see you here!"

Yeonjun lowly chuckled, adjusting Soobin’s slightly crooked collar and causing him to tense up. It was rare that he would come across the technical genius nowadays. Their schedules were so mismatched, it was impossible to find the time to catch up. 

He could only reminisce on the past. He had taken a liking to him first sight, just from his sense of justice. Although, it did take some time for Soobin to accept him.

“Just coming for a routine check. I assume you’ve been doing well. Taehyun isn’t working you too hard, is he?”

Soobin chuckled. He had been treated very well here, welcomed like one of the family. Even though he was just a puppet on a thin string, he didn’t mind his puppeteer one bit. 

“He’s treated me very kindly.” 

Soobin never intended to get into the criminal world. It was a fleet, a one in a million coincidence that Yeonjun would see him that day. 

His electronics store had been failing, causing extreme debt and numerous letters from the bank warning of imminent repossession. He was frustrated, irritated, on the edge of going insane. Every item was precious to him then, and every penny counted.

It was dusk, nearly closing time when the incident occurred. He never expected to catch the eye of a gang leader that night: it seemed like fate was destined to bring them together. 

Soobin’s flashback was interrupted by Yeonjun’s beeping watch, signalling that it was time for him to make a move. 

“I should be going. Jae is waiting, don’t want him to think that I’m dead.”

The pair mutually laughed, indulging in each other's company. They clasped hands together and shared in a short embrace before Yeonjun was on his way. 

He exited the building with a sigh, running a hand through his soft locks. Reminding him of his duty, his black Mercedes-Benz glistened in the fading daylight. It was getting late. He cracked his neck and opened the perfectly polished door. 

He slid into the leather seat, slamming the door behind him. Letting out a long-held breath, he sunk into the seat almost immediately. It was rare that he got a break these days, always rushing around to greet dealers or to sort petty arguments. So when he did get a chance to sit down, he savoured every single second. 

“Master Choi?

Yeonjun hummed in response. He stared out the window, watching the hidden casino fade into the distance.

"That boy...I know you've known him for a long time but..." 

The bodyguard paused for a moment, gripping onto the steering wheel tightly. His face was contorted, his emotions mixing into one. 

"I don't think he deserves your trust anymore."

Yeonjun turned to face his protector, a quizzical look upon his face. He couldn't understand the reason behind his words. 

"What? Taehyun? He's harmless!"

Yeonjun chuckled, reminiscing for a second. Taehyun had been by his side for a long time. He had seen, and first hand witnessed, the worst and cruellest parts of him, still choosing to stay by his side. 

"He wouldn't betray me. Not after what I've done for him."

He was loyal to his core. He had to be. Yeonjun had saved him and he owed him his life. 

"Something hasn't been right with him lately. I think he might be plotting something." 

Yeonjun's heart ached, a knife plunged through his chest. The very thought of him being betrayed sent shivers down his spine. He wouldn't let them affect him. 

"I would be careful as to what you say. Don't overstep your boundaries."

He was angry, enraged at the very suggestion of betrayal. Jae had known him long enough to know of his triggers: a boundless accusation with no evidence pushed Yeonjun's buttons to the extreme. 

"My apologies Sir but I really think-"

"I've had enough. Shut your mouth before I make it shut."

Yeonjun was confused. It was rare that Jae would be so obstinate in his opinion, let alone suggest an idea that may offend his leader. 

After the ordeal, it was silent. The only thing that brought Yeonjun solace was the slowly fading light of day. The night was special to him, reminding him of the strength he had gained over the years. It was always easier to murder in the pitch black. The blood was never as clear, neither were the images that haunted his dreams.

The fading brightness of the day made the lights of the restaurant even more luminescent. You couldn't hide lies from anyone in that place, especially not from him. 

Yeonjun put his earpiece in his ear, the professional zone sinking deep into his skin. 

"How could you do this to me! I've been waiting so long just looking at Mr lanky struggling to do up his shirt buttons! Do you have any idea how bored I am!"

Yeonjun winced, holding his earpiece in pain, yet he couldn't stop a smile from creeping upon his face. 

"Poor you. It's almost like that's your job Beomgyu."

  
  
  
  
  
  



	2. Brat

The sweat was obvious on Mr Kim’s brow, as was the uncontrollable shaking of his leg. Anyone could tell that he was nervous, especially somebody with credentials in that area.

“He’s super nervous. You don’t need to be a professional to work that one out. Even you could do it.”

Yeonjun chuckled, making his way into the chandelier-lit reception. He wasn’t just a regular there; he had the whole system wrapped around his finger. Every part was at his beck and call if he required. He’d been friends with the owner for so long that it made business meetings a piece of cake. If anyone tried to fight against him, they wouldn’t live to tell the tale. 

The thing Yeonjun loved most about the place was the artwork. It was extravagant yet modest. It had a charm to it. He didn't understand fine art, yet had come to appreciate it under the influence of his father.

He turned into the dining area, spotting his client almost immediately. Yeonjun could see him shaking from a mile away and clutching the papers desperately in his trembling hands.

“Nice to see you again, Sir.” 

The man rose quickly from his seat, bowing graciously in Yeonjun’s presence. Beomgyu was right; Yeonjun could practically smell the fear radiating from the guy. His hair was ruffled and his collar was slightly turned up at the edge, making Yeonjun practically have to restrain himself from fixing it. 

“And you...Mr Kim.”

Yeonjun couldn’t stop himself from running his eyes up and down the man in front of him. The fact that he dared to come into his presence in such a state made his blood boil before the meeting had even begun. It didn’t take much to get on Yeonjun’s nerves.

“You look so disgusted right now.”

Sometimes Yeonjun wished he could get rid of the rat in his ear. Yet he couldn’t deny, he was wholly displeased. 

“Let’s get to business, shall we?”

Yeonjun cleared his throat, taking a seat at the luxurious table. The chair was insanely comfortable, especially after working all day. The candle on the table slowly burned. Sometimes Yeonjun found the flickering flame hypnotic, calling his name. 

“Your menus.” 

The waiter bowed courteously, handing over fancy menus and pouring complimentary wine. Yeonjun had to admit; there was nothing better than white wine to make his vision hazy. If he had to sit there and stare at that crooked collar for one more second, he might go crazy. 

Yeonjun did not need a menu, yet proceeded to open it anyway. The golden pages were perfectly pristine, bringing him a sense of relief. That was until he turned the page, a luminescent pink post-it staring him straight in the face. 

“At least TRY to act interested. I do it to you all the time ;)”

Ripping off the note, Yeonjun screwed it up in his fingers. He subtly glanced at the waiter in the corner, whose smirk was evident, even from behind his blond bangs. 

Yeonjun had to resist the intense urge two throw it back at him. 

“Everything okay Mr Choi?”

Yeonjun smiled forcefully with his teeth, taking a large gulp of wine to hide his irritation. 

“Everything is just fine. You're having the same as me; I've lost my patience." 

He shut the menu, holding it out for his cheeky waiter friend to take. There was no need for Yeonjun to order; they knew exactly what he wanted. The waiter took the menus and bowed, leaving them to their own devices. 

Crossing his leg over the other, Yeonjun swirled the wine in his glass. 

"So tell me, Mr Kim. Did you do what I asked?"

Mr Kim swallowed, finally adjusting the kink in his collar to Yeonjun's intense pleasure. He took a swig of his drink and flicked through his paperwork. 

“As you asked we've been making an...increase in sales."

Yeonjun raised his eyebrow, staring intently at the man flustering with his paperwork. He had to admit; he was handsome. The loose black tie around his neck contrasted aesthetically against the crisp white shirt. His youthful face was perfectly unscathed. 

Yeonjun would hate to ruin it. 

“I’m sure you’re fully aware that he is lying. I won’t patronise you.” 

The chuckle of his partner in crime filled his ear. The switch from Beomgyu’s bratty behaviour to his work persona would always amaze the young boss. No matter how many years they had known each other, the stark contrast was always fascinating to witness.

“It’s been going well with the clientele.”

It didn’t take long for Yeonjun to become frustrated, Beomgyu chiming in his ear that his trusted partner was indeed still lying to him. His childhood friend was an adept reader of people, smarter than Yeonjun could ever hope to be. 

“Well, according to the data you’re looking so perplexed at, you’ve been making losses Mr Kim. Not gains, losses. Big losses that come down harshly on  _ my _ name.”

You didn’t need to be a psychologist to figure out Yeonjun’s emotions. The rage radiated off him, heat rising through his body. He was a certified perfectionist; losing was not on the criteria. 

“I don’t like to lose, Mr Kim. I  _ never _ lose.” 

The client laughed nervously, taking a large gulp of wine and proceeding to choke on it a little. He couldn’t take his eyes off the earpiece. 

“Sir, we've met many times now. Is it really necessary to have that earpiece? I don't know if we should really be engaging in business if we don't have mutual trust..." 

Yeonjun chuckled, crossing his arms. He leant over the table, so far that the heat from the candle started to tickle at his skin. He lowered his voice to a hushed whisper. 

"You see the guy to your left, Mr Kim."

Mr Kim cleared his throat, moving his eyes to the left. 

Next to them sat a couple on a date, or so it seemed. The man was strongly built and very well dressed in a vintage suit. He was staring lovingly at the girl in front of him, her jewellery glistening against the lights. 

"He has bullets that can go through the side of your head in an instant." 

Mr Kim stuttered randomly, unable to form a straight sentence. It seemed that he was taken aback by the sudden threat.

"So I suggest that you tell me the truth before he fires a bullet right through your skull." 

Yeonjun tapped his clients head and smiled sweetly, watching him convulse in response. He sat back and smirked. 

"Ew. " 

Yeonjun rolled his eyes at the voice in his ear. Beomgyu was a certified brat, even when working seriously. 

He spotted him approaching, carefully balancing the plates of heaven in his hands. Placing them on the table, he bowed and departed almost immediately. 

Yeonjun picked up the silver cutlery, inspecting the knife to his clients’ dismay. The food in front of him looked delectable, the meat perfectly cooked, just to his liking.

“Well?”

Mr Kim spilt a multitude of apologies like word vomit from his mouth. He was sweating profusely, his hands trembling as he held his cutlery. He hadn’t touched a single thing on his plate, opting rather to play with it like a fussy child.

“He is sorry Yeonjun. I doubt he would cross you like this again. He’s a trusted partner that I think you cannot afford to lose.”

The young boss sat in silence and observed, indulging in the heaven in front of him. Yeonjun loved food. It was something that would always rationalise his head, alongside raising his spirits. He had a healthy appetite, which often called for substantial meals. 

"Here's the deal." 

Yeonjun placed his utensils down neatly, wiping his mouth with a napkin. 

“I pay off your loans. You show me a profit in three months.”

It took Mr Kim a while for the words to sink in. He sat there buffering, staring with his mouth dropped open like a kid at a fairground. 

“Fail me again and I'll blow your head clean off."

Mr Kim finally loaded, shock apparent on his face. Yeonjun wasn't known for being merciful, let alone patient.

“Yes. Yes, Sir. Thank you. I won’t let you down.” 

Rising from his seat, he finished the last of his beverage.

“Someone will be in contact with the paperwork tomorrow.” 

He turned on his heels, readjusting his black tie and brushing himself down.

“And Mr Kim,"

The man perked up, jumping to his feet.

"Do  _ not  _ fuck it up."

*****

  
  


Watching his home come into view was always a pleasant moment for Yeonjun. It helped him to switch off from work, taking a break to finally breathe and be himself. 

He wasn't naturally mean, nor born to be a killer. He was weak, scarred and soft. He had friends that he desperately cared for and weaknesses that could destroy his family's legacy forever. 

He couldn't change who he was. He wouldn't give up his friends for anything. All he could do was protect them, use his body as a shield. 

And if anyone dared to touch them, he'd make sure they met their end. 

Thanking Jae for his service and wishing him a good night, Yeonjun stepped out of the car and onto the tarmac. The clouds had flooded the sky, threatening to break into tears and shower them with water. 

His best friend lent on the wall, his face concealed by a hat, glasses and mask. 

"Long time no see." 

Getting out his key, Yeonjun simply laughed. He could never get over that look on him. Although he knew it was a necessary precaution, Beomgyu did look like an absolute idiot.

“Come on in then.”

Yeonjun pushed the glossy wooden door open with ease and entered, followed by his undercover buddy. 

His home was fairly modern, including large windows and recent artwork. Of course, it was in immaculate condition. His father had brought it for him just before he was murdered, so it held an important place in his heart. 

Closing the door behind them, Beomgyu removed his disguise. He hated wearing it, yet he had no choice. If somebody discovered his identity, he would be well and truly done for in a matter of hours. 

"I think _somebody_ owes me a drink after that boring-ass meeting today." 

Yeonjun shrugged his jacket off, hanging it neatly on the hooks by the door. 

“I know. I know. I’ll join you in a moment, got a call to take."

Beomgyu nodded, making his way across the marble hall to the living room area. No matter how many times he had been there, the lavishness and luxury of the place would always surprise him. The stunning view of the city from the extravagant windows never failed to steal his breath away. He’d find himself captivated in the lights, watching a city that never sleeps.

Especially tonight, he was lost in the sparkling stars. It was rare to see them so clearly. 

Beomgyu liked to believe that stars were a guiding light, a constant reminder that even in dark times there is hope. 

“Pretty isn’t it?” 

Beomgyu lept out of his skin, just about withholding a scream from escaping his lips. He had been so focused on the stars that he hadn't noticed the elders presence. 

"You jumped so bad!" 

Yeonjun couldn’t stop himself bursting into hysterics. The look on Beomgyu's face was ingrained in his head, causing him great delight. 

"Shut up. You scared me!" 

Whining, the younger hit him hard on the shoulder. He crossed his arms, walking to the spacious settee and leaving the constellations behind him. 

“Hey, hey, be careful. Don’t forget that I’m your boss~.” 

Yeonjun teased, pulling off his tie and chucking it over his shoulder. Allowing himself to relax for a while, he unfastened the top button of his shirt. He’d failed to realise how tense he truly was. 

The moment he felt his shoulders loosen up, the screen lit up in his hand. A message from his supplier, one he needn’t be concerned with. 

The constant ding of the notification bell was driving Yeonjun around the bend. He didn’t give a fuck about work right now, let alone whatever those idiots had to say to him. He wanted to rest for once in his life; he didn’t need boring and uneventful business interrupting his relaxation.

“Just shut it down already." 

Beomgyu complained, pouring the liquor into fancy crystal-cut tumbler glasses. 

"If it's  _ really _ that important, someone can reach you on your personal. Just relax for a while for once. Have a drink." 

Yeonjun chuckled, holding down the power button. He watched in enjoyment as the screen faded to black, the sound becoming null. It was euphoric to leave work behind for a while. Throwing the phone on the rug beside him, he sunk into his soft sofa. 

Beomgyu passed Yeonjun the drink, taking a seat on the opposite side and resting his feet on the handcrafted glass table. He raised his tumbler in the air. 

“To another day of pointless work.”

The boys raised their glass collectively, taking a swig of alcohol to numb the pain of the day. 

Just as Yeonjun was sinking deeper into his luxury lounger, his personal phone began to vibrate violently on the table. He groaned, sitting up to grab it and swiping the little green icon to the right. 

“Yeonjun speaking.” 

Yeonjun took a small sip of his vodka, the tang lingering on his tongue for a while. He waited for his caller to answer, listening to their laboured breathing. 

“He’s gone Yeonjun.”

The boss sat up instantly, putting his glass on the table with little care and sloshing the liquid everywhere. 

“He’s gone.”

  
  
  



	3. Without you

The first thing Taehyun could smell, when he opened the door, was alcohol. It was more than usual, pungent, overwhelming even. It was a stench that he absolutely despised and not one that he expected to smell on his return home. 

He had popped out for a scheduled meeting during closing hours, leaving Kai and Soobin to their own devices at the casino. 

Although being sceptical at first, Taehyun had come to trust Soobin as one of their own. He knew Soobin would protect Kai, in his absence, and that made him feel at ease about leaving him. 

Yet on this particular day, something wasn't right. 

It never smelled this heavily of alcohol, nor did the sound ever ring so silent. 

Taehyun walked down the stairs slowly, an eerie sense of dread sending shivers from the tip of his toes to the top of his head. With every step, his pace quickened. With every moment, his body tensed. With every second, his worst thoughts raced around in his head.

As he reached the bottom, any hope he had diminished. The door was shattered, off to a weird angle from a broken hinge. 

"...Hyuka?" 

Alcohol was not the only thing he could smell now. He could smell the putrid stench of iron, taste it on his tongue. It made him feel sick, dizzy.

"Kai!" 

Taehyun screamed as loud as his lungs would allow him, hoping desperately for an answer that never came. He kicked the door open from its remaining hinge, watching it clatter to the floor. 

"Kai, answer me!

He knew it was hopeless, but he had to try. Kai was his best friend, a part of him that he promised to protect. Someone who he would lay down his life for again and again and again.

He had to find him.

"Answer me! Please!" 

He couldn't breathe, frantically searching with no real aim. The thought of finding the dead body of someone he called his brother made his throat close up. He didn't want to even imagine the sight of that, let alone it be a reality. 

That's when Taehyun heard a groan. It was filled with pain yet weak and feeble. 

He turned his head towards it, his breath hitching at the sight in front of him. 

"...Soobin?" 

His friend was slumped against the wall, his hand desperately clutching his side. Crimson surrounded him, splattered up the wall and on the floorboards. 

"Where is Kai?"

Soobin's eyelids fluttered. He looked paler than usual. His voice was a trembling mess, stopping him from properly portraying his words. 

"They…" 

Taehyun grabbed the collar of Soobin's turtleneck tightly, pulling him closer. He couldn't care less whether he was dying or not. He needed to find Kai, especially if Soobin was in this kind of state. 

"Who." 

Soobin winced in pain, holding his bleeding wound with as much strength as his limp body would allow. 

"I don't know...they took him."

Taehyun scoffed, dropping Soobin with little care or patience. He ran his hand through his hair, pulling at it harshly. The world was spinning like a never-ending merry-go-round, without joy and laughter. Everything seemed darker. Everything seemed evil. Everything seemed wrong without him.

That's when he saw it, his little brother's piece of happiness and hope. The guitar lay shattered on the floor, covered in thick splodges of fresh blood.

Anger boiled inside of him, the steam rising through his body. It set on fire parts of him that he didn't even know existed, the rage that he had never felt so strongly before in his 23 years of life.

He burst into flames, screaming in a mixture of agony, anger and anguish. Nothing mattered at that moment. It felt like a piece of him was missing, ripped from inside him, leaving a hole that could never be filled. 

He smashed all the glasses that lay on the side. Shards of sharp shrapnel flew up in the air, some cutting into the soft skin of his hand. He didn't care, nor did he feel any pain right now. He was running on pure adrenaline. 

Fear. 

Overwhelming fear. 

The thought of losing his other half was crippling, so frightening. He was so lost, afraid, lonely without him by his side. 

He slowly slumped to the floor, his screams morphing into hysterical sobs. The tsunami wouldn’t stop flowing. He couldn’t breathe again, hiccuping over and over. He held the pieces of guitar tightly in his hands, a comfort.

Yeonjun.

He needed to call Yeonjun.

Trembling, he took his mobile from his pocket. The dreaded password screen stared at him mockingly, knowing it would be a challenge to overcome. It was now that Taehyun hated himself for putting a long fucking password on his phone. 

“Come on, Taehyun.”

He couldn’t steady his hand, let alone see the letters on the screen through his hazy vision. 

“Stop fucking crying.”

Finally managing to type it, he wiped the tears from his eyes. If he was to explain the situation to Yeonjun, he had to be able to form proper sentences. It wasn’t the first time he had seen blood, hell he’d even killed someone, but that didn’t make the current events any easier. The blood back then was different.

It wasn’t his. 

Taehyun clicked on the contact, listening to it ring agonisingly slowly. 

“Yeonjun speaking.”

The familiar voice comforted him in a way, maybe even allowing a small spark of hope to ignite again. Yeonjun could bring Kai back. He was sure of it. And if Yeonjun failed to do so, he would never give up on finding him. 

No matter what sacrifices he needed to make. 

“He’s gone.”

His voice trembled: saying those words out loud made everything seem real. It made the reality crystal clear, too clear.

“He’s gone Yeonjun.”

Steadying his breath, he clutched the wood so tightly in his hand. He could feel the sharp edges cutting into his palm, but he didn't care.

“Taehyun? What do you mean he’s gone? Who?”

Taehyun was angry. Angry that they'd prey on such an innocent soul. Kai had no part in this; he wasn't even a player on the board. 

“Some fuckers took Kai. I don't know who and I don't know how."

Anger mixed with agony. Rage mixed with pain. Taehyun couldn't figure out if he wanted to spill blood or tears. Everything felt wrong, inverted, discoloured.

“Fuck."

Taehyun could hear shuffling at the end of the phone. Although he couldn't see him, he could imagine Yeonjun's frustration. He'd always protected Kai from danger.

“There's blood on the floor."

When Taehyun made a deal that day, he did so with the promise of protection. Taehyun didn't care what he had to do. As long as his brother could live safely, he would do anything. 

Even become a killer.

“I’ll be there in five. Do  _ not _ do anything stupid.”

Yeonjun knew him well, maybe better than he even knew himself. He was restraining himself, stopping himself from storming out the broken door on a massacre mission. 

“No promises.”

Taehyun slowly lowered the phone from his ear, letting it clatter onto the floor. 

His wrist burned. The permanent ink on his skin was a constant reminder of a promise he had made so long ago. He stared at it, tracing the outline of the two clasped hands carefully with his finger.

Growing up as an orphan wasn’t easy, especially not in a city as big as this one. You learnt to fight for yourself, fend for yourself, rely on nobody but yourself. 

The orphanage may have looked after you, but there was no sense of family there. They came and went, as did a lot of the kids. As soon as you built a relationship with one, they’d be whisked away by a loving family whilst you wallowed in self-pity. You only ended up getting hurt. It wasn’t worth the effort to build up bonds that would soon be shattered.

That’s how you learnt being alone was best.

Taehyun carried that mentality strongly back then. He was orphaned after his parents were brutally kidnapped and murdered. He found his company in the playing cards he had, the books he could find in the library that were far too complex for his age. 

It was common knowledge to Taehyun that friendship was pointless. He didn’t get on with the kids his age anyway. 

He was far too intelligent for them to understand his dialect, and he had no desire to play immature games with them in the orphanage playground. So he stayed alone, reading, learning about the world that he had hardly known. 

Until he met someone who made the ice cage around his heart thaw just a little. 

Kai was only little then, a scared baby cuddling a blue dolphin plushie tightly to his chest. Taehyun never knew how he ended up there, and to be honest his glazed and frightened eyes that day deterred him from ever asking. 

It must have been fate that Taehyun was asked to look after him, show him around until he got used to his new home. Maybe they asked because he’d been there so long, or maybe they wanted to push him to make a friend.

Taehyun didn’t care. 

It didn’t take long for them to become inseparable. There was something about Kai that was different to him, something deep inside that he couldn’t quite understand. He was: quiet yet loud, talkative yet shy. He was a boy with a thousand stories to tell of big dreams and worlds beyond their cramped bunk bed.

It made Taehyun happy to have somebody by his side. 

He wasn’t the only one nobody wanted. 

After many years together, it was finally Kai's sixteenth birthday. It was an anxious time for the pair. By the time the end of the year swung around, they'd be walking the streets and they couldn't say they were prepared for it. 

Before they departed from their haven, Taehyun wanted to make a promise with the one he'd come to call his brother. He'd read about it in a book once, a blood promise. 

After discussing it with Kai, they decided that now was the time to solemnly swear allegiance to each other. 

In the darkness and silence of the night, they sat cross-legged on the bedroom floor. It was so quiet you could hear a pin drop, and they needed to keep it that way. If anyone caught them, they'd be in serious trouble, and the promise would be ruined. 

Taehyun retrieved a miniature pen-knife from under his bed, one he'd pickpocketed from a carer a few days previously. Without hesitation, he cut into his palm. The blood oozed out, bubbling little red droplets on his skin.

"Now give me yours."

Watching Kai wince as the knife drew blood made Taehyun's heart sink in his chest. Although he knew it was necessary, he didn't like to see him get hurt at all. 

Clasping their hands together, their blood mixed into one. It was the formation of an eternal bond, a promise that was sworn on the very thing keeping them alive.

"Blood brothers." 

Taehyun whispered, grinning at the curly-haired boy sitting across from him. 

"Now and forever." 

Taehyun allowed himself to smile a little at the fond memory, before feeling his skin turn to ice. 

"Soobin!" 

Yeonjun's voice cut through the silence, two pairs of feet racing past Taehyun to the bleeding boy. 

"Dear god." 

Soobin flickered his eyes, groaning in pain as Yeonjun applied pressure to the bleeding wound. 

"Soobin. I need you to keep your eyes on me, okay?"

He grabbed Soobin's cheek, staring straight into his eyes. Despite Soobin's small smile, his eyes seemed dim, dark, almost lifeless.

"Get me the first aid kit Gyu. It's under the bar."

Yeonjun pushed down as hard as he could. He didn't know much about first aid, but if there was one thing his years of experience had told him, it was to stop the flow of blood.

"If I'd got here a second late he'd be a fucking corpse Taehyun.” 

Taehyun sat and watched idly, staring at the drying blood across the floor. Guilt piled up inside him. It dug at his insides, tugging at his heartstrings. He watched Yeonjun’s mouth moving, yet no words entered his mind. It was muted.

Static.

“Get your head together!” 

Yeonjun wanted to shake Taehyun by the shoulders. He wanted him to wake up from whatever nightmare paradox he had fallen into.

"I thought you were better than this."

Taehyun continued to stare, the words not fazing him in the slightest. Yeonjun scoffed and turned his attention back to Soobin. 

"Soobin I need you to speak to me. Tell me what happened."

Keeping Soobin conscious was priority number one, Yeonjun knew what he needed to do. Alongside the fact that if he did fail, Soobin was the only one who had any idea of the events that went down.

"They came...six guys." 

Yeonjun's attention was immediately piqued. It was obvious that it was carefully thought out and planned. The timing of the attack was too slick for it to be a coincidence.

"Armed? Did you see their faces?" 

It had to have been a spy or maybe an insider job. It was too early to tell at that stage, but Yeonjun was sure to find out sooner or later. And when he did, he’d kill them with his bare hands. 

"Lightly armed but I tried to fight back. Didn't see their faces." 

Biting his lip, Yeonjun worked silently. He had to be delicate. Getting angry right now would only cause Soobin more pain, he had to avoid that. 

"Taehyun. I swear I tried my hardest to save him."

The desperation in Soobin’s voice was evident. Yeonjun couldn’t tell whether he was trying to convince Taehyun or himself. 

Taehyun didn’t move, nor even acknowledge the words. He was completely in another world, his hands trembling.

"Kai was teaching me guitar.”

Soobin swallowed, sweat running down his face. He couldn’t deny; he was in agony. It felt like he was being kept alive by his will power alone. 

"When they tried to grab Kai, he swung the guitar at them and hit one of them in the head...which is why it's shattered now.”

Yeonjun couldn’t help but chuckle a little at that. It was easy to underestimate Kai. He was innocent but in no way weak. His abilities were different from others, sure, but that's what made him a valuable asset to the team. 

"They got a bit more forceful after that.” 

Cleaning the wound with care, Yeonjun held Soobin’s hand tightly. Just as he’d expected, Soobin let out an agonising scream. He breathed heavily, tears rolling down his cheeks.

"When I tried to get them off him...the next thing I knew I had a knife through my side and the floor turned into the ceiling." 

Bandaging it up tightly, Yeonjun made sure to maintain the pressure. He ruffled Soobin’s hair gently and wiped the sweat from his forehead. He hated to see him in such a state. It broke his heart, tugged on the emotions he should have buried long ago.

"Beomgyu, can you keep a close eye on him? Call the medic and let him know we’re coming.”

Finally rising to his feet, the emotions Yeonjun had locked away began to bubble to the surface. His fists clenched, heart racing 

"Taehyun?"

Yeonjun bent down in front of him, waving a hand in front of his dazed eyes. The boy was zoned out. He was completely in another world, thinking of all the negative possibilities the future held.

"Kang Taehyun." 

Before Yeonjun knew what he had done, his hand had made contact with the boy’s cheek. The sound resounded through the empty casino. The silence was suffocating in the air.

"Wake the fuck up!”

To say Yeonjun was angry would be an understatement. He was furious. He was mad at the attackers who touched Kai. He wanted to scream at Taehyun for leaving Soobin to die. But most of all, he was mad at himself for letting it all happen. 

“You won’t be saving anyone if you act like this."

Taehyun stared at the wall stunned, slowly reaching up his hand to touch the forming red mark on his face. 

"I’m sorry.”

Yeonjun pulled him into a close embrace, stroking his hair delicately. 

“We'll get him back."

He could feel him breaking into pieces in his arms. Taehyun’s body shook, the tears rolling silently down his cheeks and onto Yeonjun’s white shirt. 

"Promise?"

Taehyun’s voice was so fragile, frail, smaller than Yeonjun had ever heard him be before. It reminded him of when they had first met all those many years ago.

"I promise."

Taehyun could do nothing but pray that he would find his brother with a beating heart. It wasn’t that Kai was weak: he hardly cried or complained at all. Taehyun guessed that it came from the days of care and uncertainty that had stayed with him. 

He wasn’t invincible or immortal.

And that was a scary thought to have.

"Let me see your hands Tae. I know you’re bleeding." 

Yeonjun withdrew from the hug, taking Taehyun’s hands into his own. He had lots of little cuts and lacerations on his skin. It wasn’t too serious, but Yeonjun treated it with just the same tenderness. He cleaned each cut gently with care. 

"I'll start looking into it right away, but you can _ not  _ do anything alone Tae, you understand?”

Taehyun avoided his gaze, looking over at Soobin who was asleep on the floor. He stared at the healthy rise and fall of his friend’s chest in relief. 

“Don't even think about it Taehyun."

He sniffled a little, slowly moving his eyes back onto his hands. It was hard for him to be without his brother. They’d always been side by side. It was weird for him to not be here, especially when it was obvious he was in danger. 

“But kai…"

Yeonjun frowned, ruffling the youngster's hair with care. Taehyun was so feeble right now, Yeonjun was afraid that he might break him if he wasn’t careful. 

"I know Tae.”

It was hard for him too. Yeonjun had sworn on his honour to protect Kai, yet he’d failed in his duty. He had to see this through.

“I know.”

No matter what.


	4. Bread

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to give a big thank you to Nabe for helping me with this chapter. It never would have been able to happen without your advice and input ♥ Thank you

Yeonjun stepped out of the car, the smell of the city filling his nostrils. Somehow he'd ended up here, back to the quaint little street littered with cafés and corner shops. 

He loved it here. The smell of freshly ground coffee and cake, coming from the cafes, never failed to make Yeonjun feel nostalgic. It had been a while since he'd had time to stop for a coffee with a friend unless it was on strict business. 

Being a leader was harder than he ever expected. His father had always managed so effortlessly to maintain relationships, yet Yeonjun could not even compare to his greatness. He liked to blame it on the fact that he wasn't physically ready to take over, let alone mentally. But deep down, he knew it was just an excuse for his failure.

He was too soft. He was a bucket full of holes, useless for getting the job done. Although Yeonjun did like to think he was multifunctional, it wasn't at his intended career.

Besides, he wasn't here for no reason. He'd come to see Soobin and check his recovery. It had only been a few days since the incident, yet the thought of leaving Soobin to recover alone was gnawing at Yeonjun from the inside. He couldn’t be too sure if they would strike again or not.

He needed to be prepared.

Knocking on the door, Yeonjun tapped his foot. It wasn't so much that he was impatient this time; he was eager to see Soobin smiling again. For some reason, Soobin never failed to cheer him up. Yeonjun desperately needed that right now. 

The door unclicked slowly, swinging open to reveal a sleepy Soobin. His eyes were barely open, squinting at the bright light of day like some kind of mythical vampire.

“Good morning Soobin.”

The giant rubbed his eyes, fluttering them to try and keep himself awake. His hair was ruffled up, two little tufts particularly poking up out of the nest. Yeonjun couldn’t help but think that he looked like a rabbit, but of course, he would never admit that. 

“Who is it?”

Yeonjun grinned, leaning on the doorframe. He adjusted his leather jacket and crossed his arms. 

“Yeonjun.”

It was clear that Soobin was neither awake or aware of the elder’s presence in front of him. For someone who was usually as tense as a bowstring around Yeonjun, he was completely relaxed.

“Oh, Yeonjun hello.”

The two exchanged glances for a while, staring at each other. Nobody said a word; not even a movement was made. Soobin was gazing so intently the buffering sign was almost visible above his head. He was like a loading screen, spinning around and around until...

“Oh my god!”

It finally loaded. 

“Sir! I am so sorry.”

Soobin’s eyes were wide in horror, like the unexpecting victim of a horror film. He winced a little, putting his hand over his bandage. He had stretched too far for a moment, a sharp shooting pain slicing through him. 

“Soobin. Breathe. You’ll hurt yourself.”

The sweat rolled down Soobin's forehead, the nerves finally setting in. It wasn’t hard to tell that Soobin held a great deal of respect for his leader, although Yeonjun could never figure out why.

“I have a gift for you.”

Yeonjun clicked his fingers, signalling his guard to fetch the present from the car. The smirk never fell from his face, maybe even growing at the sight of the confused and flustered Soobin in front of him.

"Of course, your black turtleneck got ruined in the incident." 

The giant shuddered at the memory. He would never forget the sensation of the blade through his side, the fear of intimate death hanging over his head. The sight of the blood-stained floor would never fade and neither would Kai's screams. He owed his life to Yeonjun once again. 

“And you do look handsome in a turtleneck.”

Soobin could feel the heat rising to his cheeks. He felt a little bewildered at the sudden praise, not to mention a bit bashful. 

“I brought you a couple to replace it.”

His mouth dropped open as he looked over at the guard, his arms filled with different coloured turtlenecks. They looked luxurious and soft. They were, without a doubt, too expensive for a gift.

“I wasn’t sure what colour you wanted so I got one of each.”

Unable to find the words, he stared aimlessly in surprise. He couldn't wrap his head around the events in front of him. Pinching himself, he was shocked to find out it wasn't some kind of weird fever dream.

“Sir you really didn’t-”

“I wanted to.”

Soobin couldn’t understand, the words wouldn’t sink into his skin. It didn’t make sense that Yeonjun would go out of his way because he wanted to, let alone find the time to do so. The fact that he was even on his mind made his head spin.

“Soobin? Are you gonna invite me in?”

Jumping in surprise, Soobin opened the door with haste. 

“Oh! Yes sorry sorry. Please ignore the state of the house. I didn’t know I'd have company. I couldn’t exactly tidy because I can’t bend down well right now and I was rushing before I went to work the other day, so I didn’t have time. I keep taking my meds because it hurts, but then they make me sleepy so I keep sleeping and I don’t have time to do anything. Sorry, I’m rambling.”

Jae entered first, putting down the jumpers before making a swift exit. The house was just as Yeonjun remembered it, smelling like freshly baked pastries and sweet fruits. It was a pleasant scent that he had become accustomed to nowadays around Soobin. It didn’t have much furniture in it, but it was enough for one. Soobin had always been minimalistic and tried hard to be resourceful. 

“How are you feeling?”

Soobin closed the door, a shiver running down his spine. He could feel two eyes boring a hole in his back.

“I’m doing fine.”

He lied through his teeth. The guilt of putting more pressure on Yeonjun’s shoulders stopped him from being honest. He couldn’t do it. 

“Really?”

It wasn’t hard for Yeonjun to see through his lies. To start with, Soobin was an incredibly poor liar. Not to mention the fact that he was still in pain. From personal experience, he knew it didn’t heal that quickly. 

Soobin sighed, turning around to face him. The moment their eyes locked, he felt his facade crumbling and falling to the ground.

“I’m still in pain. Agony. Yeah, I’m in agony sir. It hurts like a bitch. But don’t worry, I just took some pills so hopefully, it’ll fade soon.”

Yeonjun nodded, avoiding locking eyes with the boy. The dagger of guilt stabbed into his chest, twisting in deeply.

“I know. I’m sorry.”

Yeonjun tried not to let guilt eat away at him, but sometimes he couldn’t help but have inner conflicts. Soobin had nothing to do with the kidnapping. He didn’t deserve to be involved, let alone be injured and in pain. Yeonjun only had himself to blame for allowing it to happen. He called the fact that Soobin still liked him a miracle. 

“Look, sit down and let me get you a drink Soobin. I’ve come here to look after you.”

Yeonjun had to focus on his goals. Everything felt so incomplete, like a thousand-piece puzzle with only 999 pieces. For once, he didn’t have a plan. He was completely lost. 

Sir-”

“Yeonjun.”

Soobin froze in place, his face burning bright red. He hadn’t called that name for many years. It felt wrong to address Yeonjun so casually when he possessed such authority.

“Yeonjun…”

Grinning, Yeonjun threw a baby blue turtleneck at him. 

“Sit your ass down Soobin. Put one of those pretty sweaters on while you’re at it.”

Yeonjun walked to the kitchen, grabbing a carton of almond milk from the fridge. He remembered well how much the younger adored the stuff. Pouring two glasses, he focused intently on making them the same level. 

“Uh...Yeonjun...”

Yeonjun put down the carton and turned on his heels, coming face to face with the tall boy in the door frame. He was buried in his jumper, one arm in the right sleeve but the other somewhere random. He’d managed to get himself well and truly stuck in it. 

“What are you doing?”

The boss laughed sweetly like thick honey. His face lit up like a thousand stars in the pitch black of midnight. It wasn’t very often that he would get the privilege to laugh. It made him feel warm and fuzzy inside, bringing back his humanity for a split second. 

“I got stuck.”

Soobin couldn't believe what he was hearing. It was so innocent and sweet, addicting like sugar to a little kid. The smile on Yeonjun's face, paired with his laughter, was an intense euphoria. He didn't want the sound to ever stop. 

“Idiot.”

Pulling the jumper carefully over Soobin's head, Yeonjun continued to giggle. He smoothed it down, running his hand over the fabric for a moment before standing back to admire. 

“There we go.” 

Yeonjun was right. The turtleneck was definitely Soobin's style. He pulled it off as nobody else could. 

“It suits you. You look handsome.”

Soobin shut down. He froze, his whole body heating up in embarrassment. He wasn't processing a thing, his mind repeating the compliment. It wasn't like Yeonjun to admire him so openly. 

“O-oh. Thank you.”

He just about managed to force the words from his lips, his cheeks flushed rosy red. Soobin didn't take praise well, especially when coming from someone he held in such high regard. 

“I have to say Soobin. You really do love bread.”

Zoning back into the real world, Soobin followed Yeonjun’s line of sight to his gigantic bread collection. They were stacked on top of each other: seeded bread, cheese bread, sour bread. Some were soft, melting in your mouth as they touched your tongue. Others had a hard crusty exterior, hiding their cloud-like fluffiness from observers. Soobin loved plain bread the most., the light and fluffy kind. There was something about it that made him so overjoyed. 

“They’re tasty~ Feel free to help yourself. I don’t mind.”

Soobin hadn’t expected to have all of this. It turned up on his doorstep, a delivery man with a massive box of freshly baked goodies. They were arranged beautifully, the smell so tempting before he had even gotten his hands on them. When checking the note inside, he’d discovered they were from Taehyun. It was an apology for leaving him to die.

“Oh. Thanks.”

Grabbing absentmindedly for some bread, Yeonjun allowed a smile to creep up on his lips. He liked bread. It was tasty, especially because it would hardly ever disappoint. 

“Wait!”

Yeonjun froze, stark confusion filling his body. The smile fell from his face for a moment. 

“That’s my favourite…”

Soobin’s voice was so gentle and sweet, like a shy child asking their parents for some candy. He stood with his hands clasped together, looking tiny. 

“Oh?” 

Raising an eyebrow, Yeonjun moved the bread closer to his plump lips. He watched intently as Soobin's mouth formed into a tiny pout, his eyes lightly sprinkled with sadness.

“I’m just kidding Soobin!” 

Yeonjun cackled, grabbing a porcelain plate from the side. 

“Now go sit down. I’ll bring it in.”

Soobin obeyed with a grumble, flopping down on the couch with his arms crossed. Pain shot through him like a bullet. He bit down on the soft skin of his lip, preventing a groan of pain from escaping. It was easy to forget he was injured sometimes. The constant throbbing pain had become numb to him over the last few days. It wasn’t his wound that caused him the most pain; it was the aching pain of guilt in his heart.

Setting down a tray on the table, Yeonjun took a seat next to the sulking boy. He watched with a smile as Soobin’s eyes lit up. 

“Thanks, Yeonjun.”

Soobin bit into the bread with excitement, his face slowly falling into a frown. He loved the taste, yet it just felt sour in his mouth. It felt wrong. He was sitting here smiling whilst his friend was in peril. It didn’t sit right in his stomach. 

“Any news about Kai?”

Yeonjun grimaced, playing with his glass of almond milk. 

“Nothing...not a single word. Taehyun won’t rest. He isn’t sleeping. If I hadn’t shoved food down his throat, I doubt he’d be eating either.”

Yeonjun rubbed his forehead, the vision of Taehyun never leaving his mind. He was a complete mess. The bags under his eyes showed restless nights filled with nightmares, trauma. Everything had fallen apart in his life and Yeonjun was struggling to hold him together 

“He’s staying with me for the moment. Like hell, if I’m letting him stay in that place alone. He’ll lose it.”

The air was filled with suffocating anxiety and guilt. The reality of life right now was truly frightening for everyone. It wouldn’t be long before somebody snapped and Yeonjun knew who it was going to be. 

“Who do you think…I mean it has to be someone from the inside, right? It was too perfectly timed for it to be an outsider.”

Yeonjun buried his face in his hands, his failures stacking against him one by one. It wasn't unexpected. Yeonjun hardly lived up to his father so it was only a matter of time before the rebellion began. He wasn't cold-blooded enough to beat his friends into submission. 

“That’s exactly what I thought but I’ve done scans on everyone and I can’t find a thing. Whoever did this was smart about it.”

Uprisings had always been easy to deal with. It usually didn't take long for Yeonjun to find the ringleaders and put bullets through their heads. This time was different. 

“Why do you think they did it? Money or...?”

The two sat in silence for a while. They both knew the answer to that question. It was blatantly obvious and there had been no effort to conceal it. 

“It’s a game. A sick, twisted game to fuck with me.”

Yeonjun clenched his fist, his nails digging into his palm and drawing blood. The thought of using someone as a toy made him writhe in anger. It was completely underhanded, nasty. 

“A game? How can you be so sure?”

Soobin rubbed his eyes, blinking lots to try and keep them open. 

“Because otherwise, you wouldn’t still be here.”

The silence rang clear in the air. It was the truth, yet neither of them wanted to accept it. It was in times like these that Yeonjun realised the fragility of life, the danger of the life he led. He hated it. It wasn’t his choice to be like this. If it was his decision, he never would have been a killer. Hell, he never would have even touched a gun at all. 

Yeonjun was brought back to the room by his companion’s loud yawn. Soobin had been slowly sinking into the sofa, curling up into a tiny ball. 

“You should get some rest. You’ve got lots of healing to do.”

Yeonjun rose to his feet, clearing away the dishes into the kitchen. He’d allowed himself to be consumed by frustration for too long. He needed to focus on the important things right now, family.

“But I’m comfy, and you’re here.”

Soobin whined, cuddling deeper into the soft cushions of the sofa. He found it hard to keep his eyes open, the drowsiness possessing him like a spirit. He was so sleepy that he didn’t notice Yeonjun approaching, bending down right next to him. 

“I’ll carry you then.”

The sleepyhead hummed in response, putting out his arms for Yeonjun to pick him up. He was too in dreamland to think about his actions, although he would be completely embarrassed later. 

Yeonjun slipped his arm around Soobin’s waist and supported his back. Hooking his arm under Soobin’s knees, he lifted him with ease. He was heavy, but nothing that Yeonjun couldn’t handle. It had been a while since he had carried someone, especially in a bridal style, so it was more difficult than he had first anticipated. 

“Just lean into me, okay? I’ve got you.”

Burying his face in Yeonjun’s neck, Soobin hummed lightly in response. Yeonjun could feel the vibration on his neck, the warmth of his every breath against his skin. He could feel the thumping beat of their hearts, in rhythm with one another, like a chorus of drums in an orchestra. The heat crept up onto his cheeks, tinting them with a rosy shine. He moved quickly, transporting Soobin to his bed. 

The room was quite simplistic: a bed, wardrobe and bedside table occupied most of the space. A full-length mirror stared back at him from one corner, slightly cracked in the middle. It looked like it had been punched. He reminded himself not to get on Soobin's nerves. 

Lying him down with care, he pulled back the navy covers from the bed. As he was tucking him in, a picture frame caught his eye. It was shattered, cracked so massively it was hard to see inside. The picture was of Soobin and two others on what seemed to be his graduation. He looked so young yet was still so tall. Yeonjun would never admit it, but he was completely jealous of his friend's height. He made a mental note to buy him a new frame.

“You need anything, Soobin?”

Soobin shook his head, clinging onto Yeonjun’s arms. His eyes were fully closed, drifting in and out of consciousness.

“Will you leave Junnie?”

Yeonjun paused for a moment, the name circling in his brain for a while. It made him flustered. Nobody had called him that for a long time and it wasn’t something he was used to. Yet somehow, he liked it. 

“I’ll wake you up before I go, okay Binnie?”

Humming in response, Soobin cuddled into his bosses arm and fell deeply into a land of dreams. 


	5. Pretty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains graphic violence. Please take care and read at your own risk.
> 
> \- Megan

Pain.

That’s the first thing Kai felt when he finally came to. It was a throbbing kind of sensation in his left temple, kind of like an intense headache. It wasn’t the most painful thing in the world, yet it definitely wasn’t a comfortable feeling. 

It wasn't the first time Kai had bled. He had cut and grazed himself a multitude of times, from falling over in the playground to slicing his finger on broken glass. The only thing that was different this time was that Taehyun wasn't here to make it better.

They had been together for so many years that it felt strange not to be by each other's side. Kai liked to think they were soulmates, completing the missing pieces of each other to create a whole. 

When he had first been introduced to Taehyun, Kai thought he was the most terrifying person on earth. 

Taehyun wasn't only a genius, he was calm, collected and composed. It made the other kids writhe in annoyance. Every time they tried to pick at him, it would never even pierce through his unbothered barrier. He protected Kai from any opposition, treating him like a true brother. 

Just like oxygen, they came as a pair. Where one went, the other would soon follow. They bonded over the hilarity of life itself, the fear of the world slipping through their fingers like sand. They filled in each other's broken parts and stuck them back together. 

“Did you kill him?”

Bringing him back to the situation at hand, he heard distant voices echoing. The air was thick with cigarette smoke. It drifted to Kai’s throat, wrapping it’s deadly hands around his neck and squeezing tightly. He couldn’t breathe, choking on the toxic fumes. He didn’t dare to cough. If he made a sound, they’d know he was awake and who knew what would happen then. 

He assumed that he was tied to a chair. The sensation of restraints around his wrists promised no release, not that he'd be able to escape anyway. It was cold, the air nipping at his skin through his thin shirt. 

“No. Just injured him and left him as you asked.”

Kai could do nothing but hope that Soobin was still alive. The image of him crumpling to the floor would always stay with him, rotating in his mind over and over. He felt guilty, at fault for causing Soobin harm. 

If Taehyun was here, he’d call him irrational. 

But he wasn’t. 

The voices in the distance started to become louder, closer even. Kai trembled a little in fear. Only a little, nothing could ever make him as frightened as Yeonjun. He had perfectly moulded Taehyun into the assistant that he wanted. Nothing was more terrifying than watching his brother’s innocence morph into impurity.

"Hey, fucker. Wakey wakey." 

Freezing water suddenly slapped him, soaking his shirt to his skin. Shivers cascaded down his spine, making his whole body tense up for a moment. He couldn’t help but choke on the water. Opening his wide eyes in pure shock, he took a while to adjust to his surroundings. 

He was in the corner of a darkened room, what he assumed to be some random basement in the middle of nowhere. The walls were simple exposed brick, dusty. It looked as though one kick would send them tumbling to the ground, the whole structure following and crushing them all. It was starved of light, the corners so dark that Kai felt as though he could see his deepest fears within them. 

“You like that Kid? That’s what you get for smashing your fucking guitar on my head.”

Kai sighed, shaking his head to move the hair away from his eyes. Two men stood in front of him, one practically holding back the other with all his strength. 

The taller man had an outrageous nest on his head, pieces of hair sticking up at a million different angles. Kai wondered whether he actually owned a hairbrush or whether he thought what he was sporting was a good look. Anyway, it did nothing for his complexion. 

The other was an angry-looking man, his face constantly wrinkled up. His eyebrows were so thick and bushy; Kai couldn't stop himself from thinking they would fly off. His lips curled downwards, always giving him a frustrated yet deadpan look. Kai couldn't wait to find out how he looked when he was truly enraged.

He wasn’t at all scared of their anger; Taehyun was way scarier when he was mad than they could ever be. He had been trained as to what to do in situations like these. It was important to say nothing, yet he really couldn’t see what he would gain from staying silent. They were going to beat him no matter what; he might as well have fun. 

“Well, really you should thank me eagle nest. I mean, I did help you scream and hit the right notes for once. Aren’t you glad?”

Eagle nest launched at him, breaking out of his friend’s arms. The world seemed to freeze for a second, just long enough for Kai to take one sharp inhale.

“You little shit.”

He wrapped his hands around his neck, pressing down tightly on the boys' airways. 

Kai couldn’t breathe, his body going into overdrive. The thought of suffocating to death circulated in his head, red warning lights flashing. It was hypnotic. A sense of impending peril loomed over his head like a storm cloud, lighting striking his lungs. It was terrifying. Every part of him was gasping for freedom, his sight becoming hazy.

“Come on man, leave him. He’s winding you up on purpose.”

Bush troll tried to pull him off, ending up in his grip just getting tighter. Kai thought he could see stars, the floating kind from the cartoon movies. Only...it seemed a lot scarier now.

“Let him go.” 

The grip loosened for a second. Kai gasped for any air he could gather, his chest pulsating faster than Yeonjun drove his car. 

“I said. Let him go.”

Eagle nest finally let go, obeying the new voice that had entered the playing field. Kai hyperventilated, being unable to catch his breath back. Everything ached. His whole body pounded at the speed of his heart, racing fast.

“He’s a precious piece of the puzzle. We have to keep him alive as long as possible. Unless one of you clowns wants to try and get the conman here yourself.”

Kai finally regained a sense of reality, staring at the new arrival with wide eyes. It didn’t seem like he had a flaw, his black suit perfectly wrinkle-free. He had an outstandingly chiselled face with evenly spaced features, yet something was ugly about him. Anyone with a wicked inside was automatically hideous to Kai; it was clear as day. 

That man was vile.

“Who the hell are you?”

Kai just about managed to croak out, his voice hoarse.

“Why are you doing this?" 

The man scoffed, straightening his dark tie. He removed his posh suit jacket, rolling up his white sleeves to reveal his pale, muscly arms.

“A child like you wouldn’t understand.”

Kai rolled his eyes, leaning back in the chair. He hated being called a child. He was 22 years old. Although he still slept with plushies at night, that didn't make him a little naive kid. 

"So you're behind this all are you? Or are you just a lap dog?”

Watching the man’s face crumple up, Kai assumed he was right. It wasn’t hard to tell. The man radiated fake confidence. Kai had seen it a lot at his job, artificial people lying straight through their teeth. It wasn’t hard to tell that his authority was falsified. 

“Woof woof." 

Lapdog grabbed the boy's chin with an iron grip, digging his fingers into the skin. He looked frustrated, his calm facade crumbling in an instant. Perfection was so darn easy to crack.

“Keep your mouth shut brat. Before I make sure you can't speak at all." 

A smirk crept up upon Kai's face. Everything made sense now. It was just a fishing game and he was the bait.

“Then I think I’ll keep talking.”

Silence filled the air. Nobody dared to speak for a moment, their mouths hanging open in shock. It was too easy for those words to leave the boys lips, the smile on his face never faltering.

“I mean, as you said, I’m a precious puzzle piece.”

Lap dog’s fists were clenched so tightly his skin was turning a shade paler. He was fuming, frustrated at himself for allowing a child to ridicule him.

“The more noise I make, the more likely they are to find me."

Kai felt powerful, adrenaline kicking in his self-defence mechanism. Despite his current predicament, he felt on top of the world. Winding them up was so simple, a toddler could do it. Authority proved once again to be as fragile as ice. 

“So I’ll make as much noise as I can. Just to piss you off!”

Bush troll slapped his hand tightly over Kai's mouth, shutting up his wittering. Although, it didn't last long. Kai clamped down his teeth with as much force as he could exert, making bush troll recoil his hand and yelp in pain.

Deserved it.

It didn't take long for retaliation to hit, a fist flying towards his jaw. Although, contact was never made.

“Leave it.”

Lapdog had his fingers tightly wrapped around bush troll's arm, digging in his nails and letting out all the anger he had pent up.

“Brats soon become tired and give in.”

He let go, shoving him away and bending down in front of the restrained boy. He traced the tattoo on his wrist, a shiver running through Kai's body at his touch.

“His poor brother must be so lonely without him.”

Kai wanted to scream. He wanted to pull his hand away from this psycho and go back to cuddling his plushies in bed. The tattoo was important to him, a symbol of family. It meant salvation, brotherhood, trust. That man offered none of those things. 

“Leave Taehyun out of this.”

There wasn’t much that made Kai angry. He was very patient and conservative, always finding positives in even the darkest of situations. But if there was one thing that lit a fire in his chest, it was threats against his brother. 

“Oh? You get so very feisty when I mention him.”

Kai hadn’t been mad many times, only a couple. The last time was an unforgettable nightmare, something he couldn’t bring himself to forget.

“He’s not stupid. He wouldn’t come here without a plan.”

Taehyun had come home broken, clothes drenched with his blood. It was an image that would never fade. No matter how long it had been, it was still clear as day in his mind. 

“I think you overestimate him.”

Taehyun had gone out with Yeonjun that day, picked up at 6 am sharp on the clock. He never opened up about what happened, never spoke a word. But the rage that Kai felt towards Yeonjun that day never faded and neither did his resentment of Yeonjun’s evil hands. 

“He won’t come.”

Kai knew Taehyun was in no means stupid. He was a genius; he always had been. Ever since they had first met, he had guided him in life. Taehyun had grown up far too quickly, taking on responsibilities when he was still so young. His childhood was snatched away from him, his innocence stripped mercilessly like old wallpaper. 

“He’ll leave you to rot then.”

The words paused Kai's thoughts for a split second. Doubt clouded his vision, taunting of abandonment. It was a childhood scar that he carried deep in his heart. 

“Guess you’re not eternal brothers after all.”

That was the last straw, Kai's insides blazing like a house on fire. He didn't say a word, silence telling his answer. If he opened his mouth, god knows what would spill out. 

“Oh, and you know what I heard? Apparently, he left your poor bodyguard to bleed out."

Images of Soobin crying out filled his head; the breath hitched in his throat. 

“He wouldn’t.”

He wanted to desperately believe his own words, yet something wouldn't let him. Taehyun had an uncontrollable side, scary and unpredictable. Nobody could stop him if he put his mind to something.

“You know he would.”

He would. Kai knew that for a fact. Taehyun wasn't stupid, but he was obsessively protective. His obsessive nature was something that would forever be a weakness to him, a thorn that would snag and catch. 

“So quiet now, aren’t you?"

All Kai could do was hope that he wouldn't come. For once, he would put his faith in Yeonjun to stop him. Kai knew the things they would do to Taehyun would be unspeakable, revengeful and spiteful. 

“I have business to attend to."

It wasn't unlike others to harbour hatred towards his brother. After all, he was a con artist and a deceptive liar. Taehyun could handle himself normally. But this time, it seemed very different. 

"You know what needs doing.”

Lapdog rose to his feet, brushing himself down. Taking one last glance at his prisoner, he smirked with a sick grin.

"Take care, Kai."

He turned on his heels, walking out without turning back. Kai's stomach flipped, the nerves starting to take over. Without the supervisor here, it wouldn't be long before they did something to him.

Eagle nest grabbed a big fistful of Kai's hair, yanking it backwards. His face was too close for the boys liking, giving him a clear view of his nostril hairs.

"A face like that is too good for a brat like you"

Kai raised an eyebrow, letting out a shaky chuckle. 

"Oh, so you think I'm pretty?"

Eagle nest's fist connected with Kai's Jaw, the room spinning in circles. Blood splattered from his mouth, running down his chin and spilling onto his shirt.

"It would be a shame to ruin it."

Kai couldn't seem to steady himself, the panic controlling his body. It felt like he couldn't breathe again, like the hands were back around his throat again, squeezing. The world tumbled over and over, everything blurring into one big haze.

"You know what would be fun? If your big bad brother was here to see it right in front of his eyes!" 

A fist collided with Kai's gut, pain shooting through his body like an electric pulse. Biting his lip instantly in response to the throbbing agony, he let out a pain-filled groan. And then it hit again, a pulse through his body and a muffled scream from his lips. It didn't take long before he lost count of how many strikes he had taken. The blood trickled from his lips, staining his shirt deep red. 

Their laughter formed a chorus, humiliating the suffering angel as the tears rolled down his cheeks.

"Wouldn't that be fun brat?" 

Kai's vision was so hazy he couldn't figure out who was in front of him. He couldn't tell if the darkness was caused by the dim light of night or the fluttering on his eyelids. He couldn't even tell if he was passing out or dying. 

"He's missing out on all the fun! How about we take a picture? Let him know what he's missing."

The click of a polaroid camera was the last sound he heard before the world went silent. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!
> 
> I am so sorry T_T 
> 
> Apologies that this was late and also short! I would say I hope you enjoyed but I don't think I really can. If it makes you feel any better, I cried writing just a little. 
> 
> Please let me know your thoughts through comments or on twitter @angstyun I love hearing what your opinions and theories! 
> 
> Thank you again for reading!
> 
> \- Megan


	6. Ignition

The repeating sound of the clock filled the eerie silence in the air, each movement of the mechanism counting another second without him.

All Taehyun had achieved in that space of time was staring at the wall, an occasional fit of rage or tears breaking through the numbness. He felt half of a whole, missing a few limbs and a big chunk of his heart. 

The silence had never felt so empty, so barren, so lifeless. It felt like a never ending nightmare, running in circles for eternity. He had no leads, no pathways, not even a message from the bastard. Kai could be anywhere on this earth for all he knew. Hell, he might not even exist in this world anymore. 

Every five seconds, he’d check his phone, waiting. He knew it was coming. His brother was a prisoner, held hostage for a bigger goal. He was the key to breaking the lock on a frozen heart. 

Taehyun knew it would make sense to target him next, taking away a vital leaning post and causing a drastic meltdown. Being tortured didn't particularly bother him. His history had already numbed that feeling of terror and dread. He knew how to handle himself in such a situation, the trauma etched in his mind like a tattoo. The agony he felt that day could never be replicated, neither could the person he was before.

The phone lit up in Taehyun's hand, Kai's guitar cover of price tag ringing out. The sound twisted another knife into his punctured heart, spilling more blood onto his already tarnished mental state. It was an unknown number. 

Taehyun swiped his finger across the green button, holding the phone up to his ear. His hand trembled. He wasn’t sure if it was through fear or anger. And no matter what it was, he felt close to the edge of sanity. 

"Hello?" 

Taehyun couldn’t prevent the wavering of his voice. He hated to show signs of weakness, especially in such circumstances, yet it was impossible to conceal the tsunami. One moment he wanted to rip someone's throat out, the next he was drowning in his own tears, and after that he’d sit numb for a while, staring. 

"Is this Kang Taehyun?"

Letting a hysterical chuckle leave his lips, the boy ran a hand forcefully through his hair. He gripped it tightly, trying to let out the anger before he truly popped off. 

"Depends who's asking."

It didn’t take long for the snarky comment to become a regret. His stomach flipped, retching, threatening to spill its contents across the floor. A familiar scream echoed through the phone, slightly static but clear as day. 

"That answer your fucking question?"

His heart wrenched. Every single part of his body vibrated in intense anger, a laugh escaping from his lips. 

“Put your filthy hands on him one more fucking time and I swear I will end you." 

The unfamiliar voice on the end of the line did nothing but chuckle at him. It mocked him. It made him feel like a tiny ant, crushed under the giant's feet. 

"If you want him unharmed, you'll do as I ask. You understand?"

It took every inch of his willpower not to retaliate, choosing to dig his nails into his palm instead. He grit his teeth. To his dismay, everything was coming together just as he had predicted.

"Fine."

  
His legs shook as he got up from the bed, clutching his phone in his hand. He leant a hand on the wardrobe to prevent himself from toppling over.

"Go to the front porch." 

Taehyun moved with haste, running down the stairs as fast as his legs would allow him. He couldn’t waste anymore time. The scream looped in his head, the record stuck and scratching at his brain. It was a broken record, fitting to match his broken heart. 

He took a quick glance around, looking for any sight of his friend. Beomgyu was nowhere to be seen, despite his work covering the table. It seemed too perfectly timed to be a coincidence.

"You should see an envelope on the floor. Pick it up."

Although his legs were shaking, he made his way to the required destination. There on the doorstep was a white envelope, his name written in cursive on the front. 

"Once you read that letter, burn the fucker to ashes. You hear me?" 

Taehyun picked up the envelope, the soft paper settling uncomfortably in his grip. This whole situation was royally fucked up; it didn't even seem like reality. He thought that pinching himself was a bit clich é , yet he so badly wished to wake up from this hallucinogenic nightmare

"I understand." 

He had no choice but to comply. There was nowhere for him to run or hide. He couldn't awaken from this sleep. It was a harsh and cold reality, the iron chains that bound him to obedience

"I'm watching you so don't try to be fucking smart and double play us." 

Taehyun scoffed a little, creasing the envelope up with his tight grip.

"Of course you are."

The line cut dead, silence suffocating him. He knew it wouldn't be long before he too would be screaming in pain. The thing that made him writhe in frustration the most was the lack of clear motive or drive. He couldn't figure out why he was being toyed with like a rag doll, other than for entertainment of course. 

Taehyun understood entertainment well. After all, that's all he had been to Yeonjun for a while. He was only a little kid, barely scraping enough money from three jobs to feed Kai and keep a roof over his head. It was exhausting, but he didn't care. Kai gave his life purpose. He gave him something to cherish and protect. It gave him the family he had so desperately wanted all along. 

Yeonjun promised to protect that family, welcoming him with open arms. Taehyun never understood what Yeonjun saw in him that day, but somehow, he managed to harness its power. He morphed him into a perfect agent, one who obeyed orders before empathy and humanity could catch up. The world was cruel, and once he'd had a taste, he wanted more and more. 

It didn't take long before Taehyun found himself at the top of the stairs, his feet moving on auto pilot. The room felt a lot smaller than it had previously, the walls closing in around him. His feet took him to the bed and he sat down on the soft mattress.

Taehyun tore open the envelope, taking a deep breath before taking out the contents. Two Polaroids and a scrap of paper fell onto the bed, faced down onto the covers. He could feel his heart striking his ribcage, attempting to leap out. It ached. 

He stared at them for a while, the possibilities rotating like a slideshow in his mind. He wondered if this was what it was like to die, seeing your life roll before your eyes. Maybe it was a call from the grim reaper. Maybe it was time for him to move on so early. No matter what it was, it didn’t matter. As long as Hyuka was safe, he didn’t care about the consequences on himself. 

Sometimes he wished to go back to simpler times, the days of pickpocketing and innocence. They seemed so far away now, untouchable, unreal. The past when his hands were clean. His mind was untarnished.

He couldn't say the same now. 

The blood was etched into his skin, staining his hands a deep red. And now, looking at the Polaroids, he couldn't help but see his bloody hand prints upon them. 

He picked it up with a trembling hand, slowly flipping it over to reveal the image. His stomach did somersaults, his gut wrenching. There Kai was, his body limp and lifeless. The slight haze of the Polaroid made everything seem more real. Blood stained his shirt, a trail of it flowing from his mouth. His head was slumped forwards, his body restrained against the metal of the chair. 

Taehyun slowly clenched his fist around the film. Crumbling it in his hand, he tightened his grip on it. Every inch of him wanted to scream, to sob, to shed blood. Yet, all he could do was laugh. He giggled a little. Then he chuckled, letting the emotions engulf him. As the tears rolled down his cheeks, he laughed from his stomach. He cackled with his eyes wide and hands trembling. 

They had put their hands on his brother and marked his purity with scars of sin. He was going to fucking kill them with his bare hands, strangling them slowly, until they choked on their last breath. It didn't matter what he had to do to them; he needed Kai safe. 

Letting the crumpled polaroid fall to the floor, he picked up the second. It was a similar picture, yet Kai's head was not so slumped. He looked nauseous, but well and truly alive. His eyes displayed a mixed story of anger, agony and melancholy. 

A shiver ran down Taehyun's spine, the memories of painstaking torture taking over his body for a second. It had been so long, yet he had never forgotten the agony. He was glad his brother never experienced it, but it did lead him to fear that Kai would run his mouth.

Taehyun held the picture to his chest, taking a deep inhale, before slipping it into his pocket. The note stared at him from the bed. It was taunting him, giggling at the thinning of his sanity. It dared him to pick it up, reading over the words carefully one by one. 

  
An address stared back at him, words carefully transcribed in black underneath. 

  
_ Say nothing and come alone or I’ll shoot your brother in the head. Remember, I am watching you. _

He looked at it for a while, letting it sink into his memory, before taking out his lighter.

If Yeonjun was here, he would never have let Taehyun's eyes fall upon it. He protected him like he was still the same kid from the streets. A lot had changed since that time, especially his perception of the world.

Yeonjun's misanthropic view was something he sympathised with. People were only out for themselves, greedy compulsive liars. The truth was hard to come across these days, especially in a world full of cheaters. It had become evident since he started running the casino. People were self preserving creatures. 

Those words often upset Kai. After all, he was the one who noticed the changes most of all. He often said Taehyun was a different person than the boy he'd met in the orphanage. He used to be innocent, sheltered, maybe even vulnerable. Yeonjun took that and played around with it, modeling him like clay. He broke him down into sharp shards and pieced him back together once again. 

The lighter felt right in his hand. He'd always liked watching things burn, the flames flickering and the heat warming his cold skin. It reminded him that he was alive in this world. It represented his blazing rage, the heat in his chest that wouldn't subside. It made him feel liberated. 

He made his way to the sink, one hand clutching the paper and the other the plastic igniter. Once he set this on fire, there would be no going back. Despite the fact that he was most likely going to come back a different person, if he did get back, it didn’t really matter anymore. Yeonjun wasn’t stupid. He would find them eventually. And when he did, blood would be spilled without hesitation. 

Taehyun flicked the lighter, watching the flame sparking. He watched the paper ignite, the white gradually morphing into charred blackness. The message burnt away piece by piece. The note slowly fell into the water, the fire drowning and going out. He stared at it for a while, his fate becoming clearer by the second. 

It seemed he had little choice but to obey. He was wrapped around their little finger, strings attached to his limbs. As they pulled him forward, his body would follow. It was impossible to escape, tangled up in a web of deceit. He wondered who the spider was. He had his theories. Yet with nothing concrete to go off, he was just a wanderer in the dark.    
  
Taehyun grabbed his jacket, slipping it over his shoulders and heading down the stairs. If only Beomgyu wasn’t here watching over him, his life would be so much easier. Of course, he would try to stop him from going. That’s why Yeonjun had made him stay here in the first place. 

"Taehyun?"

There he was, sat on the chair with his glasses balanced on his nose. Documents were spread across the table, a single glass of water breaking up the harsh whiteness. 

  
“Where are you going?”

Taehyun turned on his heels, hoping to get away and avoid a confrontation. He wasn’t sure how he would react right now. Hurting Beomgyu was the last thing he wanted to do, he needed to keep his distance. In all honesty, Taehyun could floor anyone right now. The aggression was too powerful to hold back much longer.    
  
“Out.”

Beomgyu wasted no time, leaping up from his seat to grab Taehyun’s arm. 

"You have to stay here, okay?”   
  


He held on tightly. Taehyun was someone very precious to Yeonjun, and that made him important to Beomgyu too. It was difficult to gain the elder's trust, so Beomgyu held a great deal of respect for those who had managed to acquire it.

“It's too dangerous."

Shaking his arm, Taehyun tried to rip himself free from the iron grasp.    
  


"Get the fuck off me." 

He grit his teeth. The longer he spent wasting time here, the more at risk Kai would be of harm. He knew he was being stupid and walking into a trap, but he really had little choice. If he didn’t go, they’d shoot him dead. He was stuck in a maze, walking round and round into dead ends and returning back to the start.

"I can't do that. I'm not letting you walk out there to your death." 

They both knew it was the truth. If he walked out those doors, chances are that he’d never make it back. It was a weird thought, but not one that would stop him from leaving. 

Both of them knew that too. 

"If you were going to stop me, you should have made me blind and deaf when you had the chance." 

Taehyun's eyes told a story, pleading for understanding from his friend. There were a thousand messages in the tear filled orbs, but this was the clearest one of all.

Trust me.

"Now, let go." 

It was at that moment that he saw Yeonjun. Taehyun was the split image of him, a perfect replica of what his best friend was like at 23. The image brought back identical memories, the outcome leaving them both scarred for eternity. Beomgyu loosened his grip in shock, watching Taehyun’s arm slip from his grasp.

"Don't follow me." 

He could do nothing but watch Taehyun’s back disappear into the distance, his hands trembling. He felt so useless. There was nothing he could do to stop him from walking on the path of death, yet he felt the responsibility heavily on his shoulders. He wondered how he would react if the thing he loved most was stolen from him. 

Beomgyu was privileged. He had no intention of hiding from that fact. His socioeconomic background set him up for life. Alongside his intelligence, he was practically untouchable. Except, he could never stop his feelings from blossoming. No matter how hard he tried, he could never suppress the guilt from bubbling up inside him. And even now, it stopped him from functioning. 

He slumped back on the chair, picking up his phone to alert Yeonjun immediately. Tapping his foot on the floor, he waited for the elders' voice to cut off the ringing.

But there was no answer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!
> 
> Thank you for reading. I'm so sorry about the slow updates T_T 
> 
> As always, please let me know your thoughts on this chapter through the comments or on my twitter @angstyun ♥️ 
> 
> Thank you so much for reading!
> 
> \- Megan


	7. Hide and seek

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi,
> 
> I'd like to dedicate this chapter to my friend Kat (scft_gyu on twt/epiphanytoujours on ao3) for being one of the sweetest people I know. I encourage you to check out her writing! 
> 
> Enjoy the chapter!
> 
> \- Megan

Yeonjun awoke to a pounding headache, his head beating like a loud drum. His eyes felt heavy, yet whatever he had his head resting upon felt soft and cosy. It was homely, safe, a feeling that he had not felt for quite a while. 

It took him a moment to adjust his eyes to the surroundings. He was in a small room, a wardrobe, bedside table and mirror taking up most of the space: Soobin's house. The smell of freshly baked bread was unforgettable, alongside that ominous crack in his reflection from afar. 

He couldn’t help but think it was a prophetical notion, that it reflected the future that awaited him soon. Death had never really bothered him before. It was something that came hand to hand with his life, something he had to embrace from a young age. 

He remembered it clearly, the day his father told him to never let his guard down, to trust nobody, to build up an impenetrable iron wall and never allow it to fall. He was instructed to be a cold, emotionless statue. Yet he’d failed that mission. He wasn’t cut out for this job; it was too easy to feel and too hard to act unbothered. 

The sensation of the soft cushion moving under his head brought him back to the room. He finally gathered his senses together, coming to realise that the comfortable cushion his head had been resting on was not a pillow.

It was Soobin's lap. 

He sat up in shock, his heart suddenly racing in his chest. Something about Soobin made him flustered, made him feel unable to muster words from his lips. It made his chest ache, a foreign sensation. The sound of the knocking was progressively growing louder, stirring Soobin from his slumber. 

“Who’s at the door?”

His sleepy state was adorable, snuggling deeper into the soft pillow. Yeonjun’s pink-tinted cheeks were unmissable. He couldn’t deny that he was embarrassed by the state he had woken up in, yet the current situation didn’t give him time to recover.

“I’m not sure. Stay here.”

He placed a hand on the gun in his back pocket, stabilizing himself on his feet, before making his way towards the source of the sound. He could hear a muffled voice through the door; it sounded like his name, but it was a little too quiet to tell. 

“Who is it?”

Yeonjun couldn’t understand who would turn up here: Beomgyu was looking after Taehyun, Jae was on business, and Kai was...

“It's Beomgyu, you fucking dumbass. Open the door already before I kick it down.”

Yeonjun was taken aback for a moment. It wasn’t like Beomgyu to talk to him in that manner, let alone to make so much noise. Besides that, he shouldn’t have even been here.

Yeonjun unlatched the door, an angry Beomgyu staring him straight in the face. 

“Why are you not answering your phone? Do you know how fucking worried I was? You bitch Yeonjun!”

Yanking him towards him, Beomgyu grabbed the young boss' collar. He hardly ever lost his temper, normally staying composed and relaxed in even the most challenging situations. Yet today Beomgyu was frustrated. He was angry. 

“Do you know how fucking hard it is to get hold of you? Look at your phone asshole!”

Beomgyu released his grip, shoving the elder backwards. Just about managing to maintain his balance, he stumbled into the house, bewildered. Yeonjun wasn’t hurt by his friend’s actions, just a little confused as to why they were happening. 

“Sorry.”

Beomgyu invited himself in, closing the door behind him carefully. 

“We have a problem. A big problem, one which you would know if you answered your phone.”

Yeonjun hadn’t meant to fall asleep, yet that didn’t help to ease the guilt that he felt. It was unprofessional of him to rest whilst this crisis was going on. He felt so relaxed and safe in Soobin’s presence that the exhaustion had taken over, allowing him to slip into a slumber. It was ignorant, irresponsible. Whatever had happened now was on his shoulder, his responsibility. 

“What’s going on?”

Soobin appeared in the doorway, rubbing his eyes with one hand and ruffling his sleepy bedhead with the other. He focused his eyes onto Yeonjun, the boy boring a hole into the carpet with a deadly stare. The air was thick with tension. The hairs on his arms stood upright, chills running down his spine. 

“If you’re here, that means you’re not with Taehyun. So, where is he Beomgyu? Where is Taehyun?”

A nervous chuckle escaped the younger's lips, rubbing his neck to ease some tension.

"Well…"

It was obvious that Yeonjun was attempting to suppress his frustration, his fist clenched and his arms crossed tightly to his chest

"He came downstairs in a state, threatened me, then walked out."

Yeonjun ran over the scenarios in his head. Taehyun was very intelligent. His prodigious potential was what had attracted Yeonjun to him in the first place. He was a consistent worker, taking risks to do what had to be done. 

"I think he might have received something graphic. He looked pale and his hands were trembling too."

Something about Taehyun was intriguing. His eyes were never scared, just determined, confident. Yeonjun admired his ability to front a blank slate, even in the face of extreme violence and decaying corpses. Yet he knew that this was a completely new situation, one he could not ignore.

"And you just let him go? Are you fucking serious?"

Beomgyu sighed, avoiding the piercing gaze of his friend. It felt like being stabbed by his eyes, the mistakes he made sharpening the blade. He couldn’t deny that he’d let him go, probably to a place of bloodshed and mental torture. But Taehyun had asked him for his trust, he couldn’t deny his request. 

“His eyes told me to trust him. So I did. You would have done the same Yeonjun.”

The eldest couldn’t deny that he probably would. He believed that there was always method behind the madness, no matter how stupid and ridiculous it may seem on the surface. Despite that, there was still a part of Taehyun that acted on instinct. He was ridiculously obsessive, a fatal flaw that plagued most of his actions and thoughts. 

“And...I think he had no choice”

They had probably threatened him with Kai’s life, dangled it in front of him like a mouse to a cat, waiting for him to pounce on it. It was irresistible. Nevertheless, Yeonjun couldn’t figure out the reason behind tempting the casino owner there. 

“Before he left, he said something a bit strange. Something about making him blind and deaf.”

Yeonjun’s interest was piqued for a moment, meeting Beomgyu’s eyes with a confused gaze. 

“So I went around your house and, just as I thought, there were bugs: cameras and listening devices hidden in secret places.”

Yeonjun’s eyes widened. Yet before he could process his friend’s words, his back pocket vibrated, a message from his work phone. He withdrew it, staring at his reflection in the black lock screen. He looked tired, dark circles under his eyes, their colour drained, his lips chapped and broken, lifeless. If it wasn’t for his obligations, he’d be curled under the covers in defeat. He was a coward in reality, pessimist. 

The message was from an unknown number. 

Swiping the screen, he tightened the lock on his emotions, trying to keep them shut behind his mind’s iron doors. It was a video, a blurry image of Kai, his body bound to a chair. 

At that moment, everything in Yeonjun froze. The video began to play, the audio slightly static and echoey. 

Kai was slumped in a chair, his eyes barely flickering open. His shirt was no longer white but a dark crimson shade, turning Yeonjun's skin to ice. Everything about his state was horrific, especially for the young and innocent sweetheart that he had seen a few days previously.

It wasn't just heartbreaking; it was soul-shattering. Yeonjun would rather be shot than see his friend gradually losing his grip on life. Kai was strong. He had been through multiple traumas, felt mental pain on another level, watched humanity slipping from his brother's hands. Yet this was a totally new experience. 

The terror on his face was undeniable, merged with the feeble tears rolling down the skin of his soft cheeks. It only grew larger as they struck him. It was only one hit, but enough to produce a groan of agony from the baby. 

Yeonjun clenched the phone with as much force as he could muster, his fingers turning paler from the intense pressure. He was going to kill them. He was going to take great pleasure in slowly starving them of their oxygen, watching them writhe in agony as they suffocated one by one. If he could get his hands on them right now, he'd make sure they died painfully. Yet he had to handle things carefully in this current case.

"If you want him back, you'll play the game."

A knife was pressed to the youngster's throat, his head yanked back by the captor's grip on his hair, exposing his neck to the sharpness of the blade. 

Yeonjun could feel his heart stop for a second, his hole body going into panic overdrive. One wrong move and that knife would make a laceration large enough to end his life. One tiny flinch could have him spewing enough blood to meet a horrid fate. It made his body tremble, a mixture of intense anger and fear taking hold of him.

"You have 72 hours."

Seventy-two hours. Yeonjun had only 3 days to find his younger brother before his life was snatched from him. If he failed, he would never forgive himself for letting the breath be stolen from him. It would haunt him more than the day Taehyun spilt blood for the first time, maybe even when he witnessed the death of his father. This kid was under his protection, and failing to save his life was not an option he was willing to consider.

“The longer you take, the more damage we’ll do.”

The fire had been set alight, the flame blazing a hole through Yeonjun’s body, engulfing every part in red hot rage. The flame was so hot that it scorched his insides, the anger turning into heartache and pain. 

“Take too long and I’m not sure how much of him will be left for you to rescue.”

The blade dug into his neck slightly, a red line forming and blood gently trickling. Kai held his breath, his body quivering at the sensation of the cool metal against his skin. Even through a screen, Yeonjun could feel the thick tension, the anxiety that clawed at his chest. 

He wanted to scream. He desperately desired to pull Kai into his arms and hold him close, safe. Yet Kai didn’t trust him; that was a mutually known fact. To be honest, Yeonjun couldn't blame him for it. He was an evil manipulator, a sick, twisted bastard out for personal gain. Just like all humans, he was selfish. 

Even from a little kid, Kai had been wary of him. Yeonjun would never forget their first meeting, his little figure hiding behind his even smaller brother. Even then, his eyes told a thousand stories of forgotten secrets and hidden treasures. The kid had a skill for perception. He had become adept at it after years of watching from the sidelines and opening his ears to hush whispers in the darkness of night. It was an ability that Yeonjun was keen to harness and use for his own gain.

He had used the young boy's naivety to manipulate him. And every single day, it continued to eat him up from the inside. He wondered if one day it would fully consume him, sending him begging on his knees for forgiveness.

Yet he couldn't take it back.

The damage was done now. No matter how hard he tried, time would never pause or rewind. He couldn't bring back their purity from the dead, and the fault lay entirely on his shoulders.

"Let's see how much of a hero you can really be, Choi Yeonjun."

With that, the video ended, the silence in the room uncomfortable and eerie. Nobody said a word. Anything that they had been discussing previously seemed insignificant now, drowned out by his lingering groans of agony and shallow breaths.

Soobin instinctively started to back away from his boss, his body quivering from the sheer intensity of the elder's anger. Yeonjun stood his ground still, vibrating in anger as if he was about to erupt like a splitting molten volcano. 

“Yeonjun. You need to breathe.”

Beomgyu reached out a hand delicately, yet Yeonjun’s immense grip on his phone only seemed to intensify. He was in a sort of trance, unable to identify his allies from his enemies.

"Getting angry like this will not solve things."

Yeonjun knew he was right, but the venom filling his veins whispered the sweet remedy of murder. It told him to stop the beat of their hearts. 

Anger was something he struggled with greatly, stemming from his father and his iron fist. It was a dragon that slept in the depths of him, awakening far too frequently to ever achieve proper rest. He had attempted to tame the beast many times, yet with little success. 

As soon as Beomgyu made contact, something in Yeonjun snapped. The phone was thrown to the floor, bouncing and landing face down, cracked. Just as the screen had shattered, so had the dead of silence. Yeonjun let out a little laugh, putting his head into his hands for a moment.

"I'll fucking kill them."

Neither had any words to say in response. They were also vibrating in anger, their minds looping the pained sounds of the youngest. 

They had no choice but to play this sick game of hide and seek, before his time on earth ran out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!
> 
> Thank you for reading and being patient with me. As always, I hope you enjoyed! 
> 
> Feel free to let me know your thoughts through comments or on my twitter @angstyun <3
> 
> \- Megan


	8. On the edge

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!
> 
> I would like to dedicate this chapter to Gaja (fogIioIina on twt) for making the first pieces of Misanthropy fanart! I love you so much and thank you! 
> 
> Just a heads up that this chapter does contain graphic violence. Please read at your own risk.
> 
> Enjoy! 
> 
> \- Megan

One foot after the other. Taehyun had to keep moving. 

No matter how the thoughts clouded his mind, obstructing his reality of what was fact and fiction, he had to keep walking forward. Every movement was one step closer to him, the boy who gave him a reason to live. Nothing could stop this. He was like a bullet train, moving so fast that nothing could block him. Anyone in the way would be left in pieces, their bones broken and bodies discarded with little care. 

He only had one destination. 

Home. 

They had become one over the years, their minds fused together like soulmates. Taehyun didn’t believe in such myths, but the idea of being bound by a red string of fate seemed plausible at this point. If the string was ever cut short, it felt like he would never be whole again.

He knew walking into this situation was like signing a death warrant. From the moment he picked up the phone, the chains were already locked around his wrists, his movement bound and restricted. He was at the mercy of the keyholder. No matter how much he struggled, the chains of responsibility would not break until his duty was fulfilled, whether he ended up dead up or alive.

Taehyun took a moment to run over the address in his mind once more, before stopping at an assured standstill. The building was quite old, down a quiet and quaint alley that was desolate, dead. It was a place where screams could be drowned out amongst the blowing winds, and nobody would be around to hear them.

The place reminded him of his hometown, the prison in which he had spent the first years of his life. It brought back memories of bruised knees and shredded dreams, where landing at the bottom of the hierarchy would leave you in tatters. The place where innocence was shattered. 

He made his way towards it, placing a hand gently on the door. There was no turning back after this. Once he stepped inside, he had to be ready for the consequences that might transpire, even if that meant torture and blood spill. 

Pushing with light pressure, it crept open slightly to reveal a poorly lit hallway. It wasn't very large, and the light at the end of the corridor provided only a speck of brightness.

As Taehyun took his first step, everything inside him was sizzling, every movement he made burnt a hole through the floorboards with rage. The darkness only made his vivid anger grow brighter, more powerful, stronger. It tied strings to his arms and controlled every limb. It made every step feel like a thousand hot coals, burning and scolding at his skin. It was agony in its purest form: rage. 

He walked at a constant pace, running his hands along the walls to feel the brick sensation upon his skin. It kept him sane: a feeling of reality when the world seemed like a twisted fantasy. The depths of blackness only seemed to make his intentions clearer. Whispers crowded his ears, a thousand different metaphors of revenge rotating like a ticking clock inside his mind. If he didn't stop soon, the bomb was bound to explode. 

Finally reaching the light at the end of the tunnel, he stepped out into an open courtyard. The cool burst of air made the hairs on his arms stand up, his stomach churning with anxiety. There was nothing here but unoccupied space, abandoned and bare. To be honest, Taehyun didn't know what he expected. It was unlikely that they would send him directly to Kai, in case he left some evidence of his journey behind, yet he didn't expect to be faced with emptiness.

He took a few steps further, looking in all directions for some indication of human presence, even just a note or clue to aid his next move. As he turned around once more, a voice cut through the silence from behind him.

"Kang Taehyun."

His whole body tensed, his breathing becoming laboured and slightly shaky. He would never forget that voice, the tinge of poison that came with every word, his body becoming weaker with every second that he spoke. 

"So nice of you to join me here."

Spinning around on his heels, his eyes met the person he resented the most. Everything screamed at him to turn and run, get away from the beast in front of him who would rip him to shreds. He cowered like a child again, memories taking over the control panel of his mind. His instinct was to get away, backing up on autopilot.

"Scared of me, are you? Remembering some things you would rather forget?"

He couldn't deny the monster's words. The past scars were opening up again, the pain coursing through his body. It felt like that night, when he saw the film before his eyes, felt everything falling apart piece by piece. When he came home a wreck, his brother's face a picture of horror. 

And now, as that man moved closer and closer, he could feel his heart begin to rapidly race. He wanted to get out of here, get away from him. He was a demon in human form, and no amount of time would ever erase the damage he had done to him. 

"I see you're just the same as always Taehyun, running away from your problems like a coward."

Taehyun's back hit the brick wall behind him. With no way to get away from that man's piercing gaze and devil smirk, he was caged from all angles. He was trapped.

"You could just give it up, Taehyun. Come with me nicely and I won't have to get nasty now, will I?"

The man reached out, grabbing Taehyun’s arms with a harsh grip. It reminded him of the dark times when everything he thought about the world was changed in an instant. 

Yeonjun had always protected Taehyun from the morbid parts of gang life, training him in self-defence personally and providing bodyguards to keep him safe. He made sure that he would return to Kai every night, sometimes with bruises and light cuts, but never anything too extreme. 

Taehyun knew that this way of life would take everything he had from him, that the world would cease to be the same after he had played in the hands of the devil. The sight of blood became normal; screams no longer even caused him to flinch. The boring every day turned into a thrilling game of life and death, where one wrong move could cost you everything. 

It was riveting but scary. The further he dived, the more he felt himself drowning. He couldn’t get out now; he had fallen too deep. But at the time, he still had a chance to swim to the surface. 

Until that man stole it away.

“Where is Kai?”

Taehyun had spent enough years cowering from this man. It was time to face him, pull off the chains from which he had been restrained all this time. No matter how much his scars screamed, he couldn’t stop. Kai was in danger, and if that meant he had to stand up to his greatest fear, he would do it in a heartbeat.

“Wouldn’t you like to know.”

Grabbing hold of the devil’s arms, Taehyun ripped them from his shoulders, shoving him as far away as possible. His breathing was laboured, his hands clenched into tight fists that held years of pent up rage. 

The man chuckled. His mouth formed a sick, twisted grin, wider than the Cheshire cat. He found Taehyun’s attempt at fighting back quite comical, pathetic really. 

Taehyun swung his fist in retaliation. His thoughts were tangled and messy. He had to do it now, right now. This was his one chance to prove his worth. 

It made contact with the man's cheek, his face slapped to the side for a moment. A few specs of blood splattered from his mouth and onto the floor. 

Taehyun was taken aback. He didn't expect to actually make contact, yet it was highly gratifying to inflict such pain upon him. It was years overdue. 

The man, however, was unfazed. His toothy grin became wider, his laughter gradually getting louder and louder and filling up the silence. It was like a horror movie, the monster's head-turning around to stare directly into his victim's eyes. 

Taehyun's breath was so heavy; he could hear it reverberating in the silence. His heartbeat rang in his ears, his body pulsating along with every beat of the drum.

The man wrapped his hand around the boy's wrist and held it tightly. He bent it backwards, watching intently as Taehyun's face morphed into agony. He found great pleasure in the groan that escaped his lips.

The devil gave him no time to breathe before making his next move. He grabbed Taehyun by the collar, his fingers digging into the material, and slammed him against the wall. The bricks stabbed into his back, the pain reminding him that this was indeed the reality.

“Don’t you remember that night, Taehyun?”

Taehyun would never forget it. It had been years, yet the wounds still felt as fresh, raw and painful. It was part of who he was. It gave him a streak of evil, a tough exterior that would shatter in his brother’s arms every night, as he cried the pain of the day away. 

Maybe that was the intention: to break him, before rebuilding him back up. But Taehyun had lost something inside him that day; the puzzle was missing a piece that it would never get back. 

“I’m sure you remember how deeply I scarred, how the blood-stained your clothes as you sat there helpless.”

The beast snaked a hand around Taehyun's throat, grabbing it and digging his fingers into the skin. 

Taehyun found himself unable to breathe, his resistance becoming weaker and more futile. His body trembled at the memory of the agony, how that man had beaten him half to death as light training. He wondered what would have happened if he had told Yeonjun. The threat of being murdered was too high at the time for the words to leave his lips. 

He couldn’t even tell Kai, too afraid of what might happen to his baby brother if he knew the truth. Yet the youngest didn’t seem to mind, carefully bandaging him up and carrying him to bed when his legs gave way beneath him. When he clung onto his shirt and sobbed until there were no more tears to give, he was there. 

And now...

“I’ll never forget how loudly you screamed, how much joy I got from seeing the light fade from your eyes.”

The man lent in, whispering the words directly into the boy's ear. Taehyun's body shuddered, and that was when his last string of confidence snapped, his eyes welling with tears and his vision turning cloudy. He had learnt how to withstand torture well enough by now, but this man had the ability to weave himself into his iron gates. 

“Hurting you was so satisfying, but I guess you never learnt your lesson now, did you?

The demon grabbed Taehyun’s hair, yanking it back to make eye contact with him. He was cowering, his legs shaking. His eyes reflected absolute horror and terror, just like they had on that fateful evening when everything had changed. 

“Please please let me go, I'm sorry.”

The man mocked, his voice high pitched and whiny. Taehyun remembered muttering those words vividly, hoping for the hell to finally end. 

“Pathetic.”

The monster let go, Taehyun’s legs crumpling and sending him to his knees on the floor. He wanted to disappear right now, fade out of existence. He needed to get away, but he couldn’t even bring himself to move. His body was immobilized, stuck in the same cycle as all those years ago. 

“As if I would stop for you of all people. I enjoyed your sweet little pleas of agony.”

Tilting Taehyun’s chin up with his finger, the creature bent down tauntingly in front of him. A silently flowing river streamed down the boy’s cheeks, his brain no longer processing his attackers’ words properly. 

“You turn so fragile when I enter the room. Guess the really scary big brother isn’t so strong when he has nothing to protect. Well, if you could call that abysmal attempt protection.”

Taehyun had failed Kai: his brother was going to die at the hands of the same man who had brought him such pain. Would Kai still be the same person after all this? Would he change into a monster too? Taehyun didn’t even want to think any further than that.

“You always act so cocky, where was it when you needed it the most? You’re just a spoilt brat, ignorant little child"

The streaming tears became sobs, the world became a spinning mess. Everything was wrong. He needed Kai; he needed him right now. He always knew how to calm him down in an attack. Everything would be okay if he was here by his side. 

But he wasn’t. 

“You’re still the same dirty urchin that Yeonjun dragged off the street.”

The demon grabbed the crying child by his hair with one hand.

“And you’ll never be anything more.”

Taehyun felt his head hit the wall before he lost control of his body and the world turned to black.  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! 
> 
> Thank you as always for reading. It's a very important chapter but I'm not really that satisfied with it :( I hope you enjoyed it anyway. 
> 
> Feel free to let me know your thoughts in the comments or on my twitter @angstyun
> 
> Until next time.
> 
> \- Megan


	9. No angel

Taehyun awoke to an intense throbbing pain in his head. He hadn’t felt this weak for many years now, let alone nauseous and horrendously dizzy. No matter how much he tried to focus his vision, it was hazy and blurry. The floor was cold beneath him, a thick layer of dust and dirt covering the stone. The particles only worsened the lump in his throat, the pain that still lingered from his encounter. 

It made him shiver. 

The degrading words hadn’t left his mind, every word etched into his skin. He couldn’t deny them. He couldn't prove him wrong. He was weak and fragile, a helpless, pathetic child that followed blindly. 

Taehyun still couldn’t understand how things had progressed this far. It felt like not too long ago he was pickpocketing, working a million jobs to earn enough money for him and Kai. He couldn’t help but wonder where he would be if he hadn’t made a mistake that day. 

Pickpocketing from a rich kid was not the smartest idea Taehyun had ever had. He was desperate for quick cash to pay for Kai’s school trip, the deadline steadily approaching, looming over him. He knew his brother wouldn't mind not being able to attend, yet he didn't want to let him down. He deserved to be happy and Taehyun was willing to do anything to make sure it happened. 

And that's how he let himself be overwhelmed in the heat of the moment. 

The man was walking without a care in the world, a bodyguard at either side of him. He looked like a pack leader, an authoritative glare in his eyes, his hands confidently stuffed in his pockets. The black-rimmed glasses on his face matched perfectly with his navy suit and glossy black shoes. The outfit had not one imperfection, not even a crease or blemish. One guard held a large black umbrella above the man’s head, preventing even a single droplet of rain from touching him.

Taehyun hated people like that. Whilst he was struggling to survive, they walked around without a care in the world, money overflowing in their pockets. 

Society was corrupt, no matter how positively he looked at it. Those at the bottom of the chain were left to fade out of existence, whilst the rich arrogantly flaunted their money in front of their faces. 

Maybe that’s why Taehyun found stealing from affluents so satisfying. It was his chance to get back at those who had hurt him, the snobs that had picked on his brother for being so poor. Kai didn't deserve it. He was the sweetest, keeping to himself and simply watching from the sidelines. If Taehyun had the chance, he would do whatever he could to bring their lives the same misery. 

The plan he made was simple: hide in the alley and grab the man's wallet on the way past. It was dangerous, but totally worth it if he could come out with money at the end. 

Taehyun took some time to survey his victim, deciding when the best time to bite was. The bodyguard with the umbrella was slightly smaller than the other, his shoulders not quite as broad and his face a little more aged. He continued to create light conversation with his boss, whilst the other walked on silently, alert. Taehyun knew he had to strike now or never.

Before he could even get close enough to steal, Taehyun was grabbed harshly by the shoulders and slammed into the alleyway, the breath bashed out of him. He was unable to muster anything but wheezes from his lips, his chest tight. It felt like suffocating. Cool metal was pressed to his head, stark blue piercing eyes digging into his skin. 

Towering over Taehyun effortlessly, the man had broad shoulders and a tall stature. He looked around 20, a small scar prevalent on his neck and an emotionless glaze over his eyes. From the confidence of his gun grip to the blankness in his eyes, everything about this man was truly terrifying. It made shivers run down Taehyun’s spine; panic alarms blared in his head on full volume. If he wasn’t careful, this man would tear him to shreds. 

“Let him go, Casper."

Casper obeyed instantly, lowering his weapon and stepping away. He was like an automated machine, following orders numbly at light speed.

That was when Taehyun finally got a closer look at the boss. 

Everything from the top of his head to the tip of his toes was perfect. His hazelnut eyes were stern but soft, looking into the young boy's own with curiosity.

"What's your name, kid?"

Taehyun locked eyes with the man, staring back at him with the same intensity. The rain soaked his skin, sticking his shirt tightly to his chest.

"None of your business."

It took a moment for the elder to register his words, staring at him puzzled before bursting into a fit of laughter. 

"You're an interesting kid, you know that? I threaten you with your life and still, you act all tough. I like that."

The man held out his hand, letting a small smile fall upon his lips. He was radiating, absolutely beautiful.

“My name is Yeonjun. It’s nice to meet you...”

Yeonjun trailed off, waiting expectedly for an answer from him. Taehyun’s eyes were large, glistening and sparkling in the dim sky. They held a lot of history, yet a faint lingering innocence. 

“Taehyun.”

Taehyun grasped Yeonjun’s hand tightly, an unbreakable bond beginning to form between them. 

“It’s nice to meet you, Taehyun.”

The rain lashed down hard, the elder’s perfect clothes becoming tarnished by rain droplets. Taehyun couldn’t help but examine the man in front of him. He was tall, looking down on him from above like some kind of god. His grip was strong and intense; a purpose was behind every movement that he made. As their handshake broke apart, the smile upon Yeonjun’s face quickly morphed out of existence. 

“Fancy telling me why you were trying to steal from me? You must be pretty fucked to come at someone so protected.”

Taehyun took a moment to consider his answer. There were a million different reasons he could give, a thousand memories of desperation and heartbreak filling his head. They were a constant reminder of his struggles, his strength. Yet they were a symbol of his weakness, his overwhelming obsession and anger. He would never let a stranger know what buttons to press.

“You’re rich. I need money. It’s simple.”

The elder raised an eyebrow, before nodding with great understanding. He clicked his fingers, one bodyguard placing a cigarette in his boss’ hand and the other lighting it up. 

“You have guts Taehyun. I appreciate that.”

Putting the cigarette to his lips, he took a deep inhale of smoke, before turning his head to puff it out. Taehyun had been around smokers at work, so it wasn’t a new attack on his senses, yet the smoke never failed to tickle his throat, making him want to cough just a little. 

“I can get you the money.”

Taehyun was taken aback. It took him a while to process the words, the cogs not quite aligning in his head. He couldn’t understand why a man he hardly knew would offer him money, let alone after he tried to rob him. 

“What?”

Continuing to smoke, Yeonjun stared at the boy in front of him. Taehyun felt exposed. It felt like that man could see all of his darkest and most hidden secrets. He looked at him with intrigue, picking out his flaws and errors with a fine-tooth comb.

“Come and work for me.”

Taehyun’s blood ran cold. He was nothing more than a minor criminal, pickpocketing every once in a while, but never anything too extreme. Whatever these guys were up to was way out of his league. Their pristine outfits and firearms were more than enough to get alarm bells ringing.

“But I don’t even know you.”

Yeonjun inhaled the last dregs of his cigarette, putting it out on the wall and discarding it. 

“You need quick cash. I need someone like you on my side. It’s simple.”

The boss held out his hand to Casper, a slick business card placed into his grip. It displayed two numbers, two numbers that Taehyun thought he would never call. 

“You have potential, and I want it. Come work for me, Taehyun.”

Taehyun's thoughts argued in his head, debating whether to take up a ridiculously dangerous job or not. It wasn't his decision alone to make though; he needed Kai to have an input too.

“Let me...think it over. I need time."

Taehyun needed to talk to his brother. There was no way Kai was going to accept this without involving himself too, and he would never let that happen. If there was a possibility of his brother getting hurt, Taehyun would never involve himself. 

There weren’t many things he treasured in life, but Kai was the best thing he ever had. He would protect him, even if he lost his life because of it. 

“It won’t be a pretty job, but it pays well.”

The money was overwhelmingly tempting, like candy to a baby. With that money, Taehyun would be able to build a better life for the two of them. 

“You know I can also offer you protection if that’s what you need.”

Yeonjun knew where exactly to hit him, the part that made him easily manipulatable. Protection for his brother was enough to draw him into business, like bait to a hungry fish. 

“If you’re prepared to join this life of sin, give me a call.”

Yeonjun placed the card in Taehyun’s pocket, tapping it gently. He turned around with a smile, his bodyguards resuming their protective positions. 

“Until next time, Taehyun.”

That day felt so far away now, so distant from the hell Taehyun found himself in right now. If he had turned away that day, maybe things would have been different now.

He tried to sit up, an unfamiliar clanking sound following his every movement. He looked down upon his hands, panic ensuring almost instantly.

Chains.

His wrists were locked in restraints, chained up to the wall behind him by big iron chains. He was shackled like an animal, held back like a ravenous beast. It was hard not to struggle against them, but he knew that doing so would provide him with no advantage and only exhaustion. 

Taehyun knew that taking in his surroundings was the first thing he should do. He had been taught that many times, even had it beaten into him so he would never forget. This was a life or death situation. If he died now, he would never be able to hold Kai close again. No matter what happened, he had to save him.

From his hazy vision, it looked like the dimly lit room was empty. The rigid brick walls only made the room feel smaller, more confining. It looked like it might collapse any second, crushing all of his attempts at salvation. The darkness was suffocating. It felt like his nightmares, yet vivid and real. He couldn't wake up. 

As he finally got a good look at the place he was situated, Taehyun's vision started to clear, 

Then he saw it, that all too familiar figure, his head slumped and eyes shut tight. He looked so frail, so tiny and breakable. It felt like one more touch would shatter him into a thousand pieces, everything he had to live for disappearing in an instant. Only days ago, he was singing softly, cuddling him and comforting him to sleep. 

Now, it felt like time had stopped completely. 

“Kai?”

Taehyun’s voice was so fragile, cracking as the words left his lips. He didn’t want to believe it. He didn’t want to think about the worst, yet the image of his brother told him a million different nightmares, events that would play on his mind in repetition.

“Hey.”

He tried to drag himself up from the floor, the chains on his wrists weighing him down. He felt weak, powerless, his legs becoming jelly and melting every time he attempted to stand. But nothing could stop him from moving forward. He couldn’t ever stop. 

“Hey Kai.”

Finally managing to lift himself off the floor, Taehyun stumbled towards his injured brother with haste. His legs burned like fire. His head pounded hard to the beat of his racing heart. 

"Open your eyes." 

He reached out a hand, nearly close enough to touch his brother on the cheek, just a few inches away from his happiness…before his body jerked backwards. 

The chains restricted his movements, stopping him from moving any closer. He was just out of reach, just too far away for him to touch and feel his warmth. All he could do was look, watch as the blood trickled down from his brother's split lip. 

"Just open your eyes, yeah? Please. Please let me know you're okay." 

He forced himself again to power forward, the metal yanking him back every time he tried. His wrists ached, the sharp restraints cutting into his skin and leaving marks. 

The healthy rising and falling of his soulmate's chest was his only relief. Kai was alive. No matter his state, he was still breathing. And that's all that mattered. 

Taehyun felt his body giving up on him, his repeated attempts taking a toll on his weak state. He knew it was futile, yet he couldn't stop trying. He had to reach him. He had to help him.

“Please...please open your eyes.”

Whatever energy Taehyun had left diminished. He slid down the wall, his body frail and exhausted from the repeated attempts. All he could do was watch, gaze upon the blood as it flowed or the subtle rise and fall of his chest. He hugged his knees to his chest, staring, waiting, hoping for any signs of life. 

It felt like forever, like time was in slow motion. Until finally, his brother's head began to stir, his eyes fluttering open. They looked over at the chains, focusing slowly on the figure.

“Tyunnie?”

Kai's voice was like a hushed whisper, afraid and uncertain. He seemed almost in disbelief at the sight in front of him. 

“It’s me. It’s me, Hyuka. I’m here now.”

Taehyun got up from his position, getting as close as he could before the chains pulled him back. He wanted to hold him tight, make all his pain go away. But he couldn’t reach, he was afraid.

“Are you real?”

The words broke Taehyun's heart, a dagger twisting inside his chest. He wanted to go back in time, back to the sweet beginnings. He wanted to erase the biggest mistake of his life: the day he dialled that number into his phone and never looked back.

“Yeah, I’m real. I’m really real. I'm here.

As Kai moved his head up, Taehyun could see marks upon his skin. Deep red patches littered his neck, alongside dry patches of blood from his bleeding lip. It made his heart throb in agony.

“I’m so scared. I’m so scared, Tyun.”

Kai's strong front began to crack. The barrier that he had put up shattered, a million droplets of water welling in his eyes. 

“It’ll be okay Hyuka. I’ll work it out, yeah? I’ll take care of it.”

Tears streamed down Kai's cheeks, quickly becoming sobs of fear and anguish.

“It hurts. It hurts, Hyun.”

Taehyun reached out a hand, desperately trying to wipe his soulmate's cheeks. Despite the restraints upon his wrists, he kept pulling forward, hoping. 

“Just hold on there for me, okay? I’ll...I’ll figure it out.”

It was a lie, a little white lie. It was a desire, but not a truth. Taehyun had no idea what he was going to do, let alone what could be coming up in the future.

"Why the hell are you here? Why did you come?”

Taehyun stopped struggling for a moment, a tiny smile growing on his lips.

“I couldn’t leave you alone now, could I?”

Sniffling and blinking his tears away, Kai let out a little laugh.

“You idiot.”

They were stronger together. That was a fact. There was something about Taehyun that gave Kai strength, the pain he felt becoming unimportant. He felt like he could hold on for longer, wait it out. As long as Taehyun was by his side, he felt invincible. 

“I’m sorry you had to go through this.”

Taehyun’s eyes filled with water, guilt hammering away at his heart. If he hadn’t met Yeonjun, they wouldn’t be in this state now. He didn’t even know if they would get out of here alive, and that was the most painful thought of all.

“It’s not your fault, Tyun. Things happen. You did everything you could to protect me.”

The elder buried his face in his hands, the chains clanking as his body shook. 

“But I didn’t do enough.”

Taehyun’s dam disintegrated, tears rolling down his cheeks. No matter how much he wiped them away, they wouldn’t stop falling.

“I got us into this mess. I did. I ruined your life. I ruined everything.”

Taehyun hated himself. He completely despised his very being. And now, looking at the fractured figure of his best friend, he couldn’t hide his ever-growing regret. 

“I’m so fucking sorry. I’m so sorry.”

Guilt forever haunted him, followed him like a beast hunting its prey. It was a nightmare, a shadow to his every step and breath. It constantly leant over his shoulders. He couldn’t escape, locked in a cage that was forever shrinking, trapping him inside. 

“It’s not your fault Tyun, okay? It’s not your fault. I promise.”

Looking for some kind of frustration, Taehyun stared at his brother in the eyes. Yet all he saw was sympathy, concern. There was not a hint of hatred or anger.

“Why aren’t you mad? Why don’t you hate me?”

Kai allowed himself to laugh a little, shaking the hair away from his eyes. 

“Because you did what was necessary, Taehyun! You’ve put me first your whole life and never taken any chance to focus on yourself. You don’t need to apologise anymore. I don’t hate you, and I never could.”

The words sunk deeply into Taehyun’s skin, acting as a bandage to fix his hurting heart. 

“You’re my best friend, Tyun. My blood brother. Wherever you go, I follow.”

Taehyun took a moment to look at his tattoo, remembering the promise they had made all those years ago. They solemnly swore loyalty to one another, no matter what, and neither would ever go back on that promise. 

“We’ll get out of here. I’ll make sure we get out of here.”

Even if it had to get messy, Taehyun would do what was required to get them home safely. He was no angel, no shred of purity was left for him to lose.

“I swear.” 

Taehyun would never stop fighting. 

Not until he was dead. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!
> 
> First of all, Misanthropy has over 1k hits and 100 kudos now! I cannot thank you enough for all the love and support that you have given me over the last couple of months. There have been times when I have thought about giving up, but your encouragement and kind comments have really helped me to keep moving forward. The support that I've received has been absolutely amazing and way more than I ever expected to get. Thank you so much for all the love!
> 
> Secondly, my OC was introduced for the first time in this chapter so I hope you will come to love him as much as I do! As always, let me know your thoughts and leave a comment if you'd like to. You can also find me on twitter @angstyun ♥
> 
> Thank you for reading <3
> 
> \- Megan
> 
> PS: The title of this chapter was inspired by the song "No Angel" by Birdy which reminds me heavily of Misanthropy Taehyun! It's a great song that I highly recommend you check out <3


	10. Blood

Silence. 

It was dead quiet, only the sound of Beomgyu's frantic footsteps filling the eerie silence. To Yeonjun, silence was one of the worst things in existence. Silence meant quiet, quiet meant thoughts and thoughts always led to memories he would rather forget. 

In this particular instance, he was reminiscing on his grave mistakes. He had roped Taehyun, Kai and Soobin into this world himself, and now they were paying the price for his faults and flaws. 

He cast his eyes up from the floor, watching the informant pace back and forth as he tried Taehyun's cell repeatedly, no answer. 

It was only a matter of time before they received something, but whether that would be a call or a dead body was unpredictable. 

The tallest boy was lying on the sofa, his hand softly placed upon his bandage wound. He seemed exhausted, worn out. His eyes looked heavy like they were carrying a constant burden.

Yeonjun couldn't help but blame himself. After all, he was the one that had forced Soobin into this position in the first place. 

It was a Wednesday evening when they first met, the clouds blocking any of the remaining daylight from seeping through. Yeonjun was on his way back from a meeting, dressed smartly, sipping on a small glass of champagne. He’d been working on this deal for quite a significant amount of time, so finally seeing it go through was an enormous weight off his shoulders. 

The night was drawing in slowly, the street lights flickering on and illuminating the dark city streets with their radiance. It was peaceful. Yeonjun loved the city’s golden glow, the flashing lights that showed life was present there. Whenever he felt emotionally distant, the city reminded him of everything he had to love and hate. It was a mixture of memories and scars, hatred and love. He liked to think of the city as a two-faced bitch, a mixture of fake and genuine, a dream and a nightmare.

Yet no matter how much it changed, the city would always be home. 

“Jae, can you pull over for a moment? I want a cigarette.”

Yeonjun stepped out of the car, the cool night breeze ruffling his perfectly styled hair. He didn’t mind too much. After all, he was too busy deciding which deal to pursue next. 

Just as he slid his cigarette out of the packet, he noticed a disruption on the street. A tall, black-haired man was slamming someone against the wall, snatching whatever they had in their hand off them. He seemed to be the owner of the little electronic store that was just next door. Yeonjun assumed he was stopping a thief from stealing, yet the strength and guts he possessed were quite astounding. 

It was pivotal that Yeonjun ceased being so impulsive, but this man did attract his eye. He couldn’t resist the temptation. Drawing people into this life was like sweet candy, addictive, he couldn’t stop. 

The store was small, giving off a homely vibe. Yeonjun couldn’t help but wonder why a man that strong was working in an electronics store. In his opinion, it was a complete waste of potential and uncultivated natural talent. But there was nothing he could do about that.

“I told the guy that came here earlier that I’ll pay her by the end of the week. Will you get off my case already? I’ve had enough.”

Yeonjun was taken aback, his mind processing the words at an alarmingly slow rate. He followed the man as he entered the store again, putting whatever had been stolen back upon the shelf.

“I think you’ve mistaken me for someone else."

Yeonjun had to admit, the man was a little intimidating. Despite his charming looks, his looming height was a little frightening and his face was deadly serious, angry even.

“Right. Yeah. Anyway, listen, I don’t have the money right now. I’m working on it.”

As the man finally turned to face him, Yeonjun got a glimpse of his name badge: Soobin.

“I don't know why you think I've come for your money, Soobin. I think I might be able to help you with that actually-."

"You're rich. You clearly don't give a shit about people like me, the people at the bottom of the ladder who have literally nothing. I don't need your help. Thank you very much. Now if you don't have any business here, I'd like you to leave."

Yeonjun tried multiple times to help him, every time being shrugged off and kicked out. It was clear that the owner was frightened, scared of the consequences of his looming debt. All Yeonjun wanted to do was pay it off for him, yet it simply seemed impossible. 

This particular evening, however, was different. The glass window was shattered on his arrival, shards of sharp glass littered across the wooden planks. 

Two large men had Soobin cornered, a blonde woman sat upon the counter, applying bright red lipstick.

"I told you. I'll pay the money, Angelina. I just need more time."

Soobin had his back pressed tightly against the wall, his eyes frantically scanning for a way to get out. Despite the stern expression on his face, the sight of his trembling hands broke any impression of confidence. He was terrified. 

"How much more time do you need, Choi? Clocks run out of time and quite frankly, I'm getting impatient."

The woman was an icon of power, her short blonde hair framing her perfectly chiselled face. If it wasn't for the scar across her nose, she wouldn't have had a single noticeable flaw. 

Yeonjun recognised her almost immediately, rolling his eyes in annoyance. He held a lot of respect for her, acknowledging her power and ambition, but her persistent nature always made him slightly irritated. 

"A day. Give me a day. Please. I'll get it. I promise."

Despite Soobin's tall height, he seemed small and powerless against their aggression. There was little he could do but watch at his shop was torn apart, items stashed away. There seemed to be no way out of this situation. 

“Angel.”

Yeonjun leant against the doorframe, his eyes locked on the lady in front of him. 

“Jun?” 

Following the sound of the familiar voice, Angelina’s head jerked to the side. She smiled with a glistening grin, slipping herself effortlessly off the counter. Her bright red heels clicked across the floor, striking against her black suit bottoms and flawless white shirt. Yeonjun had to admit; she was beautiful. 

“What are you doing here? I’m a bit busy right now.”

Yeonjun laughed, his eyes flickering between Angelina and an anxious Soobin behind her. He was about to do something that Beomgyu would undoubtedly scold him for later, but that didn’t matter right now. 

“You’re harassing him.”

Angelina simply shrugged, playing with her perfectly painted nails. She didn’t care in the slightest about Soobin, let alone about his current feelings. It was business, nothing more and nothing less. If she was soft to even one person, people would walk over her. And that would not be good for business. 

“So what? It’s business, Yeonjun. You should know that. He owes me money, and I want it repaid. And if I have to use force, then so be it.”

Reaching into his pocket, Yeonjun pulled out a chequebook and a pen. He had come prepared to pay the debt off, after discussing it with Soobin, but it seemed he had no choice but to pay it now. 

“How much?

It was on that day that their fates started to intertwine, their paths overlapping. Soobin became indebted to Yeonjun, desiring to repay him for what he had done. Although never being asked to, he felt guilty for allowing someone to pay his debt for him. 

Yeonjun lost his train of thought as a familiar name popped up on his phone, snapping him back to the present day. He frantically scrambled to answer it, putting it on speaker for everyone to hear. 

“Taehyun?”

Instead of Taehyun’s sweet honey voice, a distorted and static laugh reverberated through the phone. It sent a cold shiver through Yeonjun’s body, his grip on the phone tightening. 

“Well if it isn’t the notorious Choi Yeonjun.”

The voice’s sinister chuckle was infuriating, Yeonjun’s blood temperature soaring to boiling point. He was being mocked, treated like an inferior by some anonymous asshole, and he wouldn’t take that humiliation lightly. 

“Where is he.”

Nobody spoke, awaiting an answer that never came. All that could be heard was the sound of satirical laughter, gradually growing in volume and intensity until it was completely overwhelming.

Yeonjun had dealt with a lot of people like this in his lifetime, some had lost their sanity to a life of murderous crime, others from trying to escape that messed up world, yet he had never met anyone with this much intent to provoke him.

“You sick bitch. What did you do to him?”

The laughter began to subside, the sound of calculated footsteps replacing it. Yeonjun held his breath, his thought circling graphic flashbacks to past nightmares, dreams of losing the ones he loved the most. He saw Taehyun as a little brother, desiring to protect him from harm and hurt. An attack against his family was cause for a serious raging storm, anger rising like heat through his body. Anyone who dared to hurt one of his own would meet a painful end; Yeonjun would make sure of that.

“Ah, Taehyun. Well, it seems he’s taking a little...sleep somewhere, you could say. ”

His eyes wandered frantically, a cog slotting into place. He glanced over to his injured friend with a look that could kill, snapping him out of whatever trance he had fallen into. Soobin immediately understood, getting to work on tracing the call. 

Yeonjun had taken prior precautions, just in case of something like this. Taehyun had a habit of winding up in dangerous situations, so the boss made sure to have some way to track him in emergencies. Of course, Taehyun didn’t know his phone was bugged, but it was for his safety. 

“Sleep my ass. What the fuck did you do to him?”

Yeonjun was going to hunt down the perpetrator, providing them with the same pain they had brought. Even if it meant a million bullets through the chest, he would do anything to get his family back. 

"Just reminded him how pathetic he is, how weak and useless. You should have seen him, Yeonjun, so distressed. Of course, I had to put the animal out of its misery.”

If Yeonjun hadn't cracked yet, he was about to explode like a firework. It was difficult to suppress the bubbling rage inside him. No matter how much water was poured on the flames, they continued to rise and grow. Rage radiated off him, his fist clenched so tightly that his knuckles had gone white.

“When I get my fucking hands on you, I swear-"

“Slammed his head against the wall so it might have gotten a bit bloody, but who really cares."

Yeonjun felt like a failure, a liar. He had promised to keep Taehyun and his brother safe, yet he had completely failed to save either of them. It was a fault of his weakness, his inability to measure risk and take responsibility for his words. When his father promised, he never failed or went back on his word. Yeonjun wasn't cut out for this job.

"You're dead."

His threat was simply met with distorted laughter, mocking and unafraid. 

“You see, Sir Choi, a game is no fun with only one player. If you want to kill me and find your missing friends, then maybe you should start looking a bit harder.”

Yeonjun had nothing to say. The voice was right, the truth mellowing the fire inside to simmering self-hatred. Maybe if he had acted faster, none of this would have happened. 

“I’ve given the first clue. Now, the rest is up to you.”

He was scared for them, especially Taehyun. He had a habit of running his mouth, acting like he was made of titanium when really he was fragile. If Kai was involved, Taehyun would do anything to stop his suffering, even if it meant taking it on himself.

Yeonjun wasn't sure what he would do if he lost Taehyun. He treasured him dearly, looking to him for escapism and relaxation. The boys' presence made Yeonjun feel at ease. It allowed him to let down his harsh, cold barrier and show his true self. And if anything was to ever happen to him, he would want Taehyun to take over the business.

“Oh and, Yeonjun, the longer you take, the more I'll hurt that little cheating lying bitch. So you better hurry up, for Taehyun’s sake.”

And with those words, the line went flat, silence suffocating everyone in the room. Nobody dared to even breathe, waiting for the leader to open his lips and say something. Anything.

He stared at the floor for a while, thinking intently about his next action. He had to work quickly if he wanted to get them out of there alive, but he wasn't even sure where to begin. 

“I’m going to rip that bitch to pieces with my bare hands. I don’t give a fuck anymore."

Time went by at an agonising rate, every single tick of the clock slower than the next. Yeonjun wanted to get them back now; he couldn't afford to waste time. And although it had only been a short while, he was becoming impatient.

“Did you find it?”

Soobin clicked his tongue, showing Yeonjun the location of Taehyun’s phone. It was from an area the boss hardly visited, only going occasionally to see an informant.

"Beomgyu, call Jae. I think it's about time we made our first move." 

*

As Yeonjun stepped out of the car, the crisp air nipped at his skin. It was slightly suffocating, an invisible hand snaked around his neck, restricting his airflow. It felt eerie, scary. His arms were covered in goosebumps, caused by a mixture of the chilling atmosphere and cold winds bashing against him. 

It had been a while since he’d been to this part of the city. It wasn’t like him to venture out this far unless it was absolutely necessary, so he felt completely out of his comfort zone.

It reminded Yeonjun of a dark place, a time in his life where he often fell to the temptation of the devil, allowing himself to be a puppet on a string. If it hadn’t been for Casper then, he would have undoubtedly been walked over and exploited. 

“That building there.”

With every step Yeonjun took, his brain screamed at him to turn back. There was something about this place that made him uneasy. His stomach swirled with nausea, acid bubbling up in his throat. It wasn’t like him to get nervous, but the prospect of what he might find inside that building scared him, just a little.

The door was wide open, darkness opening its arms to invite him in. It felt like it was grinning at him, its stark white snarl warning him of the danger ahead. Of course, Yeonjun didn’t care. He wasn't afraid of the darkness. He had lived through it for years, always letting it consume him and never fighting back. 

Every step Yeonjun took down the hallway echoed in the silence. He doubted that there was a human presence at the end of it, fearing that maybe…

"It's clear, Sir."

Yeonjun followed after Jae without hesitation. The inside looked empty, barren and lifeless, just a single item on the floor: a phone. Its screen was smashed into shards, a million pieces strung out across the ground. It was clear that an example was being made of what was to come. 

Beomgyu was quick to rush over, taking pictures and warning the rest not to touch anything, just in case it could be of use. 

The phone was undoubtedly Taehyun’s, the boy Yeonjun had sworn to keep safe, his little brother. He often wondered if he had made a mistake by dragging that kid into this world. At the time, it felt right. He was just trying to save him, yet he failed to take into account the danger he would face. At the time, he was at his lowest. Nothing was functioning successfully, his messed up state just about holding together. 

By taking Taehyun and his brother in, Yeonjun finally had something to focus on, a family to protect. They were never obligated to stay. Yet for some reason, they never left. 

Taehyun meant a lot to Yeonjun. The boss saw him as a saviour, someone who showed him that, maybe, there were some good humans left on earth. And even though the boy didn’t know it himself, Yeonjun was incredibly grateful to have met him that day.

"Uh, Yeonjun…there's blood.”

Yeonjun spun to face the voice, Soobin looking in horror at the red-stained wall. Traces of blood lingered on it, knives digging ruthlessly into Yeonjun’s chest. A storm was growing inside him, thunder rumbling loudly. His lightning was ready to strike, fires surrounding him in a blazing rage. 

Yeonjun wasn’t sure if he should be distraught or frustrated, his mind confused, split. It was difficult to process the situation, the blood staring back at him from the wall. 

It reminded him of the night his father died, making his head spin a little. The image of him slumped against the wall, full of bullets, would never leave. Neither would the last words that left his lips.

"Sir?"

Yeonjun hadn't even noticed that his hands were trembling, his heart rate speeding up in his chest. He felt like throwing up, his stomach doing repeated somersaults. 

"Yeonjun."

He couldn't stop thinking about that time, the weakness in his father's voice, the way he crumbled to a powerless mess. The blood was unbelievable, as was the way his eyes slowly lost their light to the darkness. 

"Yeonjun. Look at me."

Jae cupped his face gently, forcing Yeonjun to look into his eyes. For a moment, the boss snapped back to reality. He found comfort in Jae. After all, he had been there for him when nobody else had, helping him to recover from his father's murder.

"Taehyun won't end up like your father. I won't let it happen Yeonjun. I still don't like him, but I wouldn't even wish that on my worst enemy." 

Jae knew exactly what was going through Yeonjun's head, saying just the right thing to calm him down.

"You promise?" 

Yeonjun had known Jae for most of his life. He cared for him like nobody else could, witnessing all of his tendencies and fears first hand. 

"I promise."

Those words meant a lot to Yeonjun, helping him to regain his cool and continue with the search. If he wanted to make progress quickly, he needed someone who could point him in the right direction. 

“I think it’s time we went to see Casper.”

No matter what happened, he would get Taehyun back, even if it cost him everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!
> 
> Thank you as always for reading! This chapter took forever omg I am so sorry. I hope you enjoyed ♥ Anyway, feel free to let me know your thoughts in the comments or on my twitter @angstyun <3
> 
> (I also think this chapter is really bad aaa im sorry)
> 
> \- Megan


	11. Trust no one

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!
> 
> I would like to dedicate this chapter to my amazing friend Clem (@haikygyuu on twt/Clemlovesgyu on AO3) for being one of my favourite people ♥ Thank you for always supporting me.
> 
> Just a heads up that this chapter contains very brief mentions of parental abuse. Please read at your own risk. 
> 
> (If that triggers you, please dm me on twitter and I can send you a copy of the chapter without it <3) 
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> \- Megan

This place was like a dysfunctional home to Yeonjun. 

Of course, there had been a couple of attempts on his life, a few small rebellions, but nothing that he couldn’t crush easily under his feet. Since becoming a leader, he had carved out a fearless reputation for himself by hand. People would cower at his name. They would talk about how he would gamble with his enemies for their lives, a single card standing between freedom or execution.

He had sacrificed a lot to become a figure of power, given up many parts of himself that he would never get back. He was constantly living a lie, cautious of every person who brushed by his side. It was paranoia, a fear of being taken advantage of. 

One that was slowly coming true.

"I haven't been here in a long time."

Soobin walked close to Yeonjun, feeling protected by his presence. He didn't like it here. Jealous eyes dug into his skin from all around, envious glances over his closeness to the boss. It reminded him of the existence of Yeonjun’s dark side. When he was in this place, the sweet boy he knew was nowhere to be found, replaced with a stern, emotionless maniac. 

It was unnerving. 

Beomgyu, on the other hand, was perfectly relaxed. He never changed from place to place, his calm self slotting perfectly into all situations.

As Yeonjun's childhood friend, Beomgyu was used to this kind of life. He was the control panel underneath Yeonjun's fake identity. Without his assistance and guidance, the boss would have undoubtedly fallen apart by now. 

"Don't you feel a little unnerved here without your guard?"

Yeonjun scoffed at Soobin's whisper, a small smirk appearing on his lips. He certainly did not require a guard. He was strong enough to take on any opposition himself, especially with Beomgyu by his side. 

Jae and Casper did not get on particularly well anyway, their past together too messy to ever fix. The guard had a habit of grinding Casper's gears, and the last thing Yeonjun needed right now was an agitated time bomb. 

"I’ve never met Casper before.”

Beomgyu laughed, patting Soobin’s back gently. It was understandable for him to be nervous. After all, Casper had a reputation for being incredibly strong and fearless, with no mercy for his enemies. It took time to uncover his truly sweet and caring side that was simply waiting dormant under a cold demeanour. 

“You’ll like him. He’s cool. Just don’t bring up his family or ask for his birthday.”

After walking for a little while, Yeonjun finally stopped in his tracks outside a slightly open door. It was just about possible to see inside, the three collating slowly in the doorway. 

Casper was training, his curly brown hair strewn messily across his face. Focusing intently on the task at hand, his striking blue eyes were full of concentration. His shoulders were broad, complimenting his muscular chest and towering height. Despite the scars that littered his body, he was perfectly built, manufactured.

It wasn’t just his looks that Yeonjun adored. His shooting ability was incredible, every single bullet perfectly hitting the models vital areas. Casper was a master of weaponry. It was rare for him to be seen without his signature gun, a “C.Q” engraved lovingly into the side.

Yeonjun would always be fascinated when Casper would handle guns, casually taking them apart piece by piece. The man knew exactly what he was doing, in both maintenance and use. He had learned how to handle them at a very young age so had complete confidence in his ability. 

Despite Casper's use of weaponry, he was in no way reliant on it. He was strong, probably even more than Yeonjun. His strenuous and persistent workout had provided him with more than enough muscle to fight without any aid. 

Of course, that strength didn't come without mental and physical pain. 

The boy had suffered through years of abuse. He was born to be a protector, nothing more and nothing less. His parents held no love towards him in the slightest. He had been walked over, his bones crushed, powerless to say a word in defence. And if it wasn't for Yeonjun, Casper would probably still be a puppet even now.

“Casp.”

The muscular man turned around, his stern face slowly morphing to a sweet smile. His eyes were naturally serious, emotionless, conditioned from a young age to shroud his feelings in mystery. Although they were working on it together, it still took some time for him to open up.

“Oh, hey Jun. What’s up?”

Yeonjun pushed open the door, encouraging Soobin to enter. Whilst Beomgyu had strolled in happily, the other was a little more cautious. It made sense. After all, Casper did give off an intimidating aura. Without knowing who he really was, he could appear quite threatening. 

"Hey, Cas."

For many years, Beomgyu and Casper had been working closely together. They had known each other for so long now that they were almost like brothers. 

"Hi Gyu."

Casper turned his attention to the tall black-haired man hiding slightly behind Yeonjun's back. He looked tiny, despite his actual towering height.

"And this is Soobin."

Raising an eyebrow, Casper looked between Yeonjun and Soobin. He smiled a little, grabbing his shirt from the side.

"So that's the one, huh?."

He slipped it over his head, covering up his cluster of scars. 

"He's cute."

Yeonjun desperately tried to keep his cool, yet was unable to stop the blush from appearing on his cheeks. 

Beomgyu was holding back his laughter, a hand over his mouth to prevent it escaping. He and Casper often enjoyed teasing Yeonjun, unafraid of the repercussions of their words. They were close friends. They knew the real Yeonjun, not the strong gang leader he presented himself to be.

"Anyway."

Yeonjun stuttered out, clearing his throat. 

"I need your help. Can we talk?"

Casper nodded, his posture tensing a little. It was a natural response of his, born from his past of punishment and discipline. Although he knew Yeonjun wouldn’t hurt him, the fear still lingered in his subconscious mind.

"Yeah sure. We can talk in the office."

The office wasn’t very big, but it was just enough to hold what was required. Casper protected the key to it, making sure that it was never breached into by anyone and that its contents were safe. It held a lot of important files, including contracts and insider information.

"How can I help?"

Casper pulled out Yeonjun's chair for him, allowing him to sit down first before taking his own seat. 

"I don't even know where to start Casp. I wanna know who is terrorising us and thought you might be able to help."

He nodded, the scar across his neck in full display. Yeonjun remembered that day well. He had little care for Casper's life then, but their relationship now was very different. 

"You have a lot of enemies, Jun. As does Taehyun."

Casper opened up a locked cabinet, taking out a large file. He flicked through it with ease, occasionally squinting a little to read the text on the page.

It wasn't that Casper needed regular glasses, but his vision was far from perfect. He often struggled when reading to see things properly. It was something that he hated, an insecurity that he had tried to hide from a young age. He hated glasses.

"Glasses."

Yeonjun grabbed them, handing them over to him. He personally thought Casper looked quite good in glasses, but he would often have to force him to wear them. 

With a sigh, Casper slipped the specs on his face and continued to read.

"If we're going off methods, then it won't be Jiho. The whole behind your back thing doesn't fit their usual strategy and you've been close recently."

Jiho was known for confronting directly, wasting no time in voicing their discontent. They were a good ally, one that Yeonjun trusted. Despite their past quarrels, the bond they shared now was as strong as brothers.

"We can rule out Hwan too then.”

Hwan and Jiho came as a pair. They were twins, backing each other up in any circumstance. Although they fought sometimes, a big hole forming in the community when they did, Yeonjun had the basis to believe that they were friends again now.

"Ah...Angelina."

Casper did not particularly like Angelina. It was not a secret and the only one who seemed to be unaware of it was the girl herself. She irritated him immensely, unaware of how persistent she could be in her demands. 

They had known each other since they were teenagers, back when Casper was very different than he was now. He had changed significantly, and she could not adapt well to those changes. 

"Looks like she's not too pleased about the current business deal."

Yeonjun took a moment to process. Angelina really did have the motive, alongside the power and knowledge. 

"The method suits her too."

If she wanted to get rid of Yeonjun, she could do so easily. She knew enough about him to get under his skin and had more than enough intelligence to do it quietly.

But Yeonjun wanted to trust her. She was not known for backstabbing, whether she wielded the knife personally or not. It would take a lot to make her snap like that. 

"How about Kim? He attempted to back out of your deal and lied to you too."

Beomgyu leant back on his chair, hands resting comfortably behind his head. 

"And you know, you also threaten to kill him."

Kim had a reason to be angry. Yeonjun had lost his cool at the last meeting, threatening Kim’s life and outsmarting his business strategies. If anyone had a right to be angry, it was him. 

"Cas. Do you have any sweets?"

Casper chucked a bag of hard-boiled sweets at Beomgyu. They were fruit flavoured, every red coloured one removed. He had a little sugar addiction. He couldn't drink alcohol and tried not to smoke either, so turned to his attention to the sweet taste of candy instead.

"Then, of course, Namjoon and his little squad. You've been fighting with him for a long time. I wouldn't put it past him to do something like this. He's smart."

Namjoon was Yeonjun’s nearest rival, his extra years of experience always giving him an upper hand. He was incredibly intelligent and never made mistakes, always knowing exactly what to do. It wasn’t hard for him to get into someone else's mind. If he found your weakness, he would exploit it without hesitation. 

"It's someone who knows your weak points, Jun. They know how to get inside your head."

Whoever this villain was, he definitely wasn't a stranger. They knew Yeonjun. They knew what made him flip, what made him sensitive. 

"It's all a game. Life or death."

Looking into Yeonjun's eyes, Casper's expression fell dead serious. The room was silent for a moment, the chill atmosphere morphing instantly to anxiety. 

"They're going to kill you, Yeonjun. And I’m sure they won’t stop there."

It was the truth. Yeonjun had been trying to play it down, but he couldn’t run any longer. This was a game of life or death. If he failed, he wouldn't just lose his life, he’d lose everything.

"Listen to me, Jun. You need to play the game. You have to play. If you back out, they'll die, no hesitation."

His friends' lives were resting in his hands alone. He had to treat them delicately, or they’d break and shatter. He had already caused them enough damage through the years, and now he could be the cause of their demise. 

No matter how hard it became, he had to play along. There was no way to reverse time or magically fix everything. This was no longer just a game; it was war. 

People always seemed to believe they could walk right over him, yet that simply wasn’t the case. He had dealt with it for years, finally carving out a name for himself, and he wouldn’t let it be ruined now. If somebody dared to threaten his family, they would meet their end. 

"I'll look into things, okay? Leave it to me. I'll call you in a few hours if I can find anything.”

Casper really was Yeonjun’s saviour. He always took things upon himself, loosening Yeonjun’s workload in times of need. He was selfless, most likely a result of years of being ordered around and mistreated. If there was one person Yeonjun trusted with his life, it was Quinn Casper.

"Thank you, Casper. Really."

Nothing Yeonjun could ever do would make up for Casper’s past, but he would always take the time to thank him for his efforts. He respected him immensely, held him close to his heart. 

"Hey, we're friends, aren't we? That's what friends do." 

He knew Casper deeply cared about him too. Yeonjun was his first real friend, helping him to become more human. He saw underneath his skin, revealing the scared and affectionate boy who just yearned to be loved.

"Friends. Yeah, we are. Of course.”

His father wouldn’t have approved of their friendship, but Yeonjun didn’t care. He was carving out his own path as a leader, and that included having Casper by his side.

"I'll get going then."

Yeonjun got up from his seat, stretching out his arms. He was tired, yet the prospect of resting was something he couldn’t face. He couldn’t allow himself to sleep until his friends were safe and sound.

"It was nice to see you. Pop by more, will you? I hate having to shout at people in your absence."

The boss allowed himself to laugh. Casper was not a fan of shouting, yet also could not control his anger. He frequently became enraged and could only calm down through violent methods. The anger that had once been used as a weapon was now a tool that Casper was yet to gain control over. 

“I will. I will. I promise.”

Catching him red-handed, Casper turned his attention to Beomgyu. He was stashing sweets in his pocket, unaware of the eyes locked on him.

"Beomgyu, could you get me those files, please? I need them."

The boy looked up, his face displaying an innocent smile. Despite raising an eyebrow, Casper simply did not make the effort to comment. 

"I'll bring them over before we leave."

After thanking him, Casper got up from his seat to see them off. He was not only known for his respect but was slightly paranoid about the current situation. He wanted to make sure they got back safely.

"It was nice to meet you, Casper."

He was especially worried about Soobin. If Yeonjun did start to develop more than just feelings of friendship, Soobin’s life would change significantly overnight. It wasn’t that Casper didn’t want Yeonjun to love, but the boss needed to think carefully about his next actions to prevent something like this happening again.

“I hope we can see each other again sometime, Soobin.”

Casper watched them exit the office, a smile plastered on his face.

"Look after him for me!”

Yeonjun continued walking, throwing his hands up in slight irritation. Casper really enjoyed teasing him, feeling comfortable enough after all these years to do so. 

"Oh, will you shut it already!"

Everyone burst into laughter at the bosses annoyance, his arms crossed in a tantrum. Yet despite his bratty attitude, his lips were curved into a real smile. 

"And Yeonjun,"

Yeonjun turned around, his grin quickly subsiding as he caught hold of Casper’s serious expression.

"Don't trust anyone."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!
> 
> Thank you as always for reading! I hope you enjoyed ♥ As always, feel free to let me know your thoughts in the comments or on my twitter @angstyun <3
> 
> \- Megan


	12. Bury me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains graphic descriptions of violence. Please read at your own risk. 
> 
> \- Megan

Taehyun had lost track of how long he’d been staring at Kai. 

He had finally given up the fight against the chains, choosing to sit against the wall instead and watch carefully. 

Kai seemed to be doing okay, the stable rise and fall of his chest bringing Taehyun great comfort. Any sign that his little brother was recovering was a good one. Right now, the only thing he wanted was for him to rest and rejuvenate. And although Kai was attempting to, it wasn't exactly easy considering the circumstances. 

“I love you, Hyuka.”

Taehyun wished to hold him, to run his fingers through the soft strands of his fluffy hair. He wanted to feel his warmth against his skin, his cool heart slowly melting with it. If he could touch him just once, he could confirm that this wasn’t all just another sick nightmare. 

But Kai was out of reach. 

If Taehyun was able to walk just a few paces further, he could wipe the tears from his cheeks. He would throw himself in front of anything that came his way, use his own body as a shield. No matter what came at him, he'd do anything to protect his little brother from harm. 

"I love you too."

Despite his overprotective nature, Taehyun knew that Kai wasn't all that delicate. He was perfectly able to stand up for himself through snarky clapbacks and self-defence. Yet it clearly wasn't enough to stop the danger to his life.

Taehyun could hear harrowing footsteps in the hall, a couple of pairs of feet moving closer by the second. It made his stomach flip and twist in anxiety, a mixture of fear and anger coursing through his veins. Once they entered those doors, anything could happen. 

Anything at all.

“Stay quiet and don’t talk back. Let me handle this.”

Three men stepped into the room, two of them instantly recognisable. They had caused trouble at the casino before, challenging Taehyun to a game after losing an incredible amount of money. Of course, Taehyun had thrashed them, humiliating them immensely. He remembered their faces well, one with bushy eyebrows and the other with a ridiculously messy haircut. It made him laugh.

The other man was clearly in charge. He wore a perfectly ironed suit, his shoes polished and shiny. Taehyun found something odd about his face, something familiar that he couldn’t quite put his finger on. Yet despite the man’s pristine appearance, Taehyun could tell he was trying too hard to impress someone. Or in other words, he was a lap dog.

"Aww. Poor little Taehyun. Not so tough now, are you?"

Taehyun's eyes were like daggers, piercing through their skin. It made them shiver a little, despite him being unable to lash out. Although they would never admit it, Taehyun was a little scary when he was angry. 

"Hi brat."

Lapdog yanked Kai's hair back, his eyes staring directly at the boy in chains. He was waiting for a reaction, ready to laugh at his struggle and misfortune. 

Taehyun instinctively leapt at him, being yanked back almost immediately. The look of fear in Kai's eyes was too much for him to bear, his emotions dominating his logic. 

"Don't fucking touch him!"

He tried again with no success, their laughter mocking him from the sidelines. He was powerless to stop them. All he could do was pull against the chains, hoping that somehow he would reach them. He was like a chained animal, desperate to escape but forced into captivity. There was no hope of reaching him.

After pulling for a while, Taehyun was exhausted. The physical and mental strain upon his body was starting to become unbearable, unignorable. 

And just as he'd had enough, the sound of footsteps sounded again. They were more intimidating this time, more threatening.

The three men stood to attention, their posture tense. Any confidence they had was completely diminished, replaced with anxious faces and mannerisms.

Whilst outside Taehyun was angry, his brain was ablaze in panic. Those footsteps belonged to the man who had changed him, who had broken him to pieces just hours ago. He was the beast that had haunted his nightmares for so many years, his secret fear.

"Hello, sir."

But if Taehyun wanted to save Kai, he would have to face his demons head-on. 

"Did you prepare what I asked?"

Lapdog finally let go of Kai's hair, turning his full attention to the man in front of him. Taehyun wasn't surprised that this monster was behind it all. He should have known from the beginning. 

"Yes. Of course. It is all prepared, Sir."

The man couldn't care less about what his inferior was saying, his eyes locked on the chained boy in front of him. His lips turned up into a smirk, enjoyment and pleasure evident upon his face. 

No matter how much Taehyun wanted to run, he couldn't. There was no way out, no way back. Sure, he could move towards the wall, but it would be no use. The best Taehyun could do right now was stick his ground and pretend he wasn't afraid of the sharp-fanged beast that hunted him like prey.

"Taehyunnie. How nice to see you again."

As the beast approached step by step, it became harder for Taehyun to maintain his ground. He didn't want to appear scared in front of Kai, but his legs would simply not stop shaking.

"I can't say the same." 

The man grabbed Taehyun by the shoulders, stealing the breath from his lips. Before he had time to react, he was shoved down, his knees slamming forcefully into the stone floor. 

A ripple of pain shot through his body, a small groan escaping on impact. It hurt. 

"I think you should watch your mouth bitch."

Kai tried to cry out but was unable, a large hand clasped tightly over his mouth. It was slightly suffocating, uncomfortable, his body skyrocketing into a panic attack.

Tilting it upwards, the monster gripped Taehyun's chin. Unlike before, his eyes burned with passionate flaming anger, not fear. He would no longer give in. He would fight the past, fight the nightmares that plagued his every thought. No matter how difficult, he wouldn’t ever give in.

“Acting tough, huh, Taehyun. Now you’ve got something to protect you’ve become fucking cocky.”

Taehyun smirked, his dark side taking control over his body. It was something that he tried to hide from Kai, scared that he wouldn’t love him the same after seeing it. He could be truly violent if he wanted to. 

“You don’t scare me, bitch.”

The man raised an eyebrow, letting out a deranged laugh. He found his opposition hilarious. Taehyun was chained to a wall, yet continued to threaten him. If he wanted to, he could murder him right there and then in cold blood. 

But that wouldn’t be any fun. 

“I don’t? Well, clearly you need reminding of that day, hm? You were chained up then too, Taehyun, just like that. Powerless. Screaming at me to let you go over and over. Pathetic little boy. You never grew up, did you?”

Taehyun’s heart raced, his strong appearance beginning to shatter. That day shaped who he was today, the person that he had become. He had to rebuild himself back up, assemble the broken pieces into some form of human and find a way to move on.

“You know what, I think it’s Kai’s turn, Taehyun. He should learn too, shouldn’t he?”

Kai was the thing that kept Taehyun alive. He glued the parts together again piece by piece. He never ran away, never tried to hide. He was always by his side. Taehyun owed his life to that boy and he would never let him be subjected to such torture. 

Kai wouldn’t survive it.

“Aww, did I hit a soft spot?”

Taehyun hadn't even noticed his trembling hands or shaky breath. Despite his mind blazing with anger, his body did not reciprocate those feelings. He was scared, frightened of seeing Kai being broken, terrified of having to watch him in pain.

“I knew you hadn’t changed.”

His fist collided with Taehyun’s cheek. It happened so quickly that the boy didn't even have time to react, slamming into the floor. He spat out a little blood and tried to steady himself. Everything was spinning for a moment, making him feel nauseous and disoriented.

“Bring him over here.”

As Taehyun’s vision cleared, he could faintly make out Kai. He was being dragged from his seat, fighting weakly against his captors. If he hadn’t been so beaten up, he might have been able to inflict some real damage. But unfortunately, his struggling was a pointless exertion of energy.

“Don’t hurt him. Please. I’m sorry. Please, don’t hurt him. Please.”

The demon simply flashed his wicked smile, watching Taehyun stumble to his feet. He was pathetic, weak, but so fun to play with. The man would make sure to take his time breaking Taehyun, picking him apart piece by piece before crushing the shards under his feet. 

The monster lifted Kai’s chin up, signalling his underlings to let him go. If Kai dared to make a move, he was done for and he knew it.

"I would never hurt such a pretty flower." 

Taehyun had to admit; Kai was like a flower, a rose growing up through the concrete. Despite coming from nothing, his colour bloomed brighter than any other. He was delicate, yet beautiful, a vibrant gift to the world. Even with little light, he still managed to blossom. He was a sign of hope in the darkness. 

They'd picked his petals off one by one, destroying his perfect shape and structure. But nothing they did would ever erase his history. If they broke his stem and stunted his growth, he would find a way to bounce back to life.

Taehyun trusted him to do that.

“I just want to play a game with him, Taehyun.”

The puzzle finally clicked together in Kai's head. This was the man who had hurt his brother all those years ago. He was the cause of so much anguish and suffering, the reason Taehyun was so broken before and needed fixing. He was the reason for everything. 

He treated Taehyun like a toy, throwing him around and playing with him. There was no humanity in his actions, no mercy. He was pure evil. Kai never wished bad things on anyone, but he couldn't help but hope that the monster would suffer for what he had done.

“Of course, a game with no risk is no fun. Don’t you agree?”

Taehyun stared into the demon's eyes, searching for some kind of humanity inside them. Instead, all he could find was utmost joy, intense euphoria, happiness. That man didn't have even a shred of guilt for his actions. Life was just a game to him, and Taehyun was a pawn upon the board. 

"Let's make a deal.”

To say Taehyun was interested would be an understatement, he was incredibly intrigued. Of course, he had an incline that it wouldn’t be a fair trade. He was in a position of great inferiority, his chains acting like the strings of a marionette doll.

“If he wins the game, I'll let you both walk free.”

The offer was irresistible. If they walked free, they could come back with an army twice as strong. Taehyun wouldn’t keep his mouth shut about it; he would never be silent. He would take his well-earned revenge on that monster, make him suffer just as he had. It would be a therapeutic dream. 

“But if I win, I'll kill you, Taehyun.” 

A wave of fear striking him off balance, Taehyun held his breath. He wasn’t scared of death. But if he died now, Kai would have to fend for himself. 

“Slowly, painfully.”

Taehyun wouldn't expect anything less from that monster. He found immense pleasure in the suffering of others, watching them slowly cry and beg until their voices became hoarse. Just like back then, he had no intention of being merciful. 

“I'll make you bleed out on that stone floor in agony, watch you cry out in pain.”

His eyes widening with every word, Kai shivered. The thought of seeing Taehyun in so much pain was too much for him to bear, the image of a blood-covered floor haunting his mind. He wanted to get away, forget the words that the maniac had said. He just wanted it to be over.

“And as you beg me to save you, I’ll stamp on your wounds. I’ll make you scream and scream until finally, you take your last breath and fall silent.”

The pain Taehyun would feel was unimaginable. It was a horrible thought that made his stomach wretch, every alarm in his body ringing loudly and warning him of danger. He had never experienced such agony before, not even a bullet wound. The torture would undoubtedly break him. But with nowhere to run, he had no choice but to take it.

No matter how scary it became. 

“What do you think, hm?

Nobody said a word, the whole room stunned at his graphic description. 

Taehyun could never figure out why this man carried so much hatred for him. He kept to himself and worked hard to get where he was, never intruding on others personal business. He assumed it was born out of jealousy, envy at his relationship with Yeonjun. He had never done anything to warrant such a violent response. But if that was how he wanted to play, then Taehyun would follow.

"Tyun. Don’t you d-"

"Deal."

He was playing games with the devil, but Taehyun didn't care. If this was how he was meant to die, then he would stare death in the eyes.

"On one condition.”

Kai knew what his brother was going to say before he had even opened his mouth. He was always stupidly overprotective, carrying everything on his own shoulders and never asking for help. He was stubborn.

“Don't hurt Kai anymore. He's taken enough. I’ll take it all, everything, just don't hurt him. Please. That’s all I ask of you."

The monster smirked, letting go of Kai's chin. He had wanted to hurt Taehyun for so long and now the boy was offering himself up for free. It wasn't necessary to hurt the youngest anymore, watching his big, strong brother crying in pain would be more than enough punishment. 

"Taehyun n-"

"Deal.”

And just like that, Taehyun had fallen into the spider's web. He was no more than a fly, tangled in strings, his day of demise approaching with every passing second. No matter how much he struggled, he was unable to break free. Although he didn’t know it yet, it seemed to be the beginning of a slow and painful end. 

“Unchain him. It's no fun if he doesn't try to fight back."

As the chains fell, a massive weight was lifted from Taehyun’s shoulders. Although he was teetering on the edge of life or death, he had never felt freer. He was like a puma that had escaped the zoo. There was nothing holding him back, nobody to lose. This was possibly the last moments of his life. And if he was going to die, he’d make sure to bleed out with no regrets. 

"If you try anything, I won't hesitate to snap his neck, do you understand me?"

Taehyun looked into Kai's eyes, watching the fear swirl around inside them. He was terrified, understandably so. Whilst all Taehyun could do was act calm, he hoped that it might provide a bit of comfort.

“Yes sir. I understand.”

Taehyun didn’t know what would happen next, but if he could save Kai, he was willing to die trying. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The beginning of the end :D
> 
> Thank you for reading <3
> 
> \- Megan


	13. Rain

It had been so long since Yeonjun had rested that he had forgotten the concept of time. It felt foreign, unreal, a phenomenon that he just couldn't get his head around.

As the clock ticked by, time felt slower and slower with each movement of the hand. With every second that passed, his head raced with thoughts. And with every thought came a bucket load of regret. 

His friends could be dead right now, yet here he was, sat on the sofa staring out the window. He was deep in thought, lost in Casper's parting words that haunted his very being.

The idea of being backstabbed by someone he trusted was a great fear. It was one that he had always harboured, never letting people in on his emotions. He had locked his feeling in a chest, protected it with iron doors and put up barrier after barrier to hide it from the world. 

Few people could breach those doors. 

"Hey. Soobin is asleep upstairs and I've double-checked again for bugs. I think I got them all..."

Beomgyu trailed off, his gaze falling on the boy who was deep in thought. Yeonjun was hurting, his eyes drained and lacking life. It was written all over his face, clear as day.

"You okay?"

The silence told Beomgyu everything he needed to know. 

Yeonjun wasn’t okay. He was cracking apart, his chest of emotions slowly falling to pieces before his very eyes. It was ajar, a handful of them escaping out through the gap and flooding back into his brain. He couldn’t stop the tsunami from coming.

“I know you’re not.”

Crouching down in front of him, Beomgyu looked into his best friend's eyes. They were broken, avoiding looking straight at him. He could have sworn they were even slightly glossy, but it was unlikely. Yeonjun didn’t cry. 

“You know this isn’t your fault, Jun. You couldn’t have known that this would happen. Everyone knows that, even Kai.”

Yeonjun was engulfed by guilt. It had him in its grasp, thick vines wrapped around him, tightening with every second. His oxygen was restricted, his words silenced. He couldn't even manage to mutter a single thing.

He was desperately trying to keep it together, aiming to keep everything locked inside the vault. His lips trembled, his leg shaking up and down in anxiety. There was nothing he could do or say to fix things, no way out of the endless maze.

"You did your best, Jun."

Even as little kids, Beomgyu looked up to Yeonjun. He always took the chance to praise him, to raise him on a pedestal where he belonged, to boost his ego higher than the clouds in the sky. There was a feeling inside that told him Yeonjun was destined to be a king, and Beomgyu believed those whispers with all his heart. 

When the elder would fail to reach his father's standards, Beomgyu would never fail to remind him of his greatness. He admired him, seeing him as a big brother in which to idolise. 

Until Mr Choi suddenly passed, and Yeonjun morphed to an adult in the blink of an eye. 

It was scary to see him change so fast, the world flipped upside down overnight. And before they knew it, he was burying his father in a grey, solemn suit. Emotionless. 

Ever since he had changed for the worse and Beomgyu was left to pick up his scattered pieces. It wasn't that he minded. Yeonjun was his best friend, his brother, and no matter what happened, he would be there to watch his back.

"I'm proud of you."

Yeonjun fluttered his eyes, his breathing erratic and laboured. He was terrified of what was to come, afraid of letting down the expectations of others. There was no easy way out, no escape. 

And that was when he broke.

Yeonjun broke.

The chest exploded into thousands of shards. Years worth of water filled his eyes, spilling over his lashes drop by drop and trickling down his cheeks. It was unstoppable, the stream morphing quickly to a river.

At first, it was silent, so quiet that Beomgyu could hardly hear it. It was only when a teardrop hit the floor did he realise. Yeonjun was crying. It took him by surprise, his whole body frozen in confusion. He didn’t know what to do, what to say. 

In the many years that he had known Yeonjun, he had never seen him cry. Even after his father was murdered, he never let his barrier break in front of anyone. He had no time to mourn, no time to grieve or say goodbye. 

He was thrust into a position that he wasn’t ready to take, instantly having to adapt to life as a leader. People looked to him to avenge his father. He had no space to show weakness, locking the human parts of himself away and discarding the key. After all those years, he had finally snapped, finally allowed himself to release his pent up pain. 

All Beomgyu could do was pull him into an embrace, hold his shaking body close and he cried away his pain. His once quiet tears had turned to loud, painful sobs. The more he cried, the louder they became. He was even making convulsive gasps, crying too much to even stop for breath.

Beomgyu could feel all of his pain, blinking away his own tears with every passing second. Seeing his strong best friend break was too much for him to bear, he couldn’t prevent the water from leaking through the dam and down his cheeks. It hurt so much. 

It was confusing. It wasn't supposed to like this. Yeonjun was strong, a secure platform that Beomgyu could call home. If he was ever lost, he could always find his way back to his stable friend who lit up in the darkness. But this time, it was different.

“Let it out, Jun.”

Yeonjun clutched onto his friend’s shirt, hiding his face in his chest. He found crying embarrassing, but he didn’t care right now. All he wanted was relief, tired of always burying his feelings behind locked doors, tired of lying day after day about being okay.

Beomgyu was a safe space, a warm comfort. He trusted him with his whole life. If there was one person who could see his weak side, it was him. 

“I promise I won’t leave you. I promise.”

Yeonjun’s feelings were like a labyrinth, a maze of complex twists and turns. It was easy to become lost, take a wrong turn and hit a dead end. Navigation was foreign, difficult, unknown. He had stood inside the entrance for years now, watching the gate become overgrown with thorns and brambles. It wasn’t a place that he ever thought he would enter again. Yet somehow, he found himself pushing open the door. 

Yeonjun didn’t know if the rain here would ever end. It felt like it was meant to last forever, pouring over and over and never ceasing. But with rain always came growth. And if his tears could allow those thorns to turn to roses, he was willing to let everything go.

“You’re not weak...for crying Yeonjun. It’s not weak to cry.”

The pair let themselves be overwhelmed with emotions, letting everything go. Even if the rain continued to pour, they still had each other to hold. The pain was just about bearable. As long as they had each other, they could get through this. 

They could get through anything. 

“I’m so proud of you. You know that? I’m so proud of you, Jun.”

Yeonjun couldn’t identify what exactly had pushed him over. It had built up bit by bit over the years, and finally, he had cracked. And with Beomgyu’s words, he couldn’t help but sob even more. He had only been praised so genuinely a few times in his life. It helped to heal his hurting heart, even just a little.

“It’s going to be okay. It’ll be okay.”

Beomgyu ran his hands through Yeonjun’s hair, playing with each strand between his fingers. When Yeonjun was a wreck, he was like a baby, unable to even speak proper words or even stand. All he was able to do was cry, cling onto things for comfort and wait till his emotions stabilized again. 

It was like trying to light a match in the rain, the spark doused instantly by tears. All of his energy had diminished, evaporated into the atmosphere instantaneously. He was a broken-hearted mess. 

The two shared a tight embrace, indulging in each others' warmth. There was nobody in this world that understood Yeonjun better than Beomgyu. He knew exactly what to say, what to do, how to tap into his iron walls and provide comfort to his heart. 

And he was incredibly grateful for his existence. 

"You should get some rest, hm Jun?"

Yeonjun shook his head, a few tears still trickling down his cheeks. He felt guilty, useless. As he rested, his friends fought for their lives. It would be selfish of him to prioritise his health over theirs. 

"Jun.”

It was something that Yeonjun desperately needed, but his pride wouldn't allow it.

“You need to rest. Come on.”

With a sigh, Beomgyu bent down in front of Yeonjun, beckoning him to get on his back. If he wasn't able to walk himself, then he would carry him to bed.

"Come on then."

Yeonjun climbed on Beomgyu's back with hesitation, wrapping his arms around his shoulders. He felt safe, protected. With a bit of effort, Beomgyu just about managed to lift him onto his back, wrapping his arms under Yeonjun's legs to make sure he stayed secure. 

It reminded him of when they were little, the innocent days of running from Yeonjun's bodyguards and hiding in the bushes to get away from them. Although most of the time it would be nothing more than mischievous fun, there had also been some injuries along the way. And whenever they did occur, Beomgyu would always carry Yeonjun back home safely. 

“Hang on tight.”

Beomgyu made his way up the stairs, taking his time to ensure his friends' safety. He was a little nervous, but carrying Yeonjun to bed was the only way to make him rest.

“You won’t leave me, right? Please don’t leave me.”

Clinging on tight to his friend, Yeonjun’s voice came out as nothing more than a whisper. It was full of fright, his words drowning in his own self-hatred. 

“I won’t leave you. I swear on my life.”

Beomgyu finally hit the landing, taking Yeonjun directly to his master bedroom. It was large in size, yet in no way over luxurious. There was a large double bed and a vanity, paired perfectly with a sleek walk-in wardrobe and incredibly packed bookcase. 

Yeonjun had always enjoyed literature, yet hardly ever found the time to indulge in it anymore. The heavy, burgundy curtains hadn't been opened in probably a couple months, allowing in little light and shrouding the room in overwhelming darkness. Whenever Yeonjun had the luxury of resting, he prefered to do it in the pitch-black dark.

"Be careful now."

Bending down slowly, Beomgyu sat Yeonjun on his bed. He was quite frankly a little exhausted but was happy to finally see Yeonjun getting into bed and actually resting. 

"You'll wake me up if something happens, right?"

Beomgyu let out a little laugh, taking a seat next to him. He wasn't going to waste this opportunity to gather information, and aimed to find at least something out before Yeonjun awoke.

"I will. I will. You can trust me."

Never once letting go of his trembling hand, Beomgyu tucked in his broken friend. Choi Yeonjun had completely cracked, falling to a mixture of exhaustion and guilt. It was imperative that he rested, or he would only end up with a knife through the chest.

"Go to sleep now, Jun. You're safe here."

After a bit of persuasion and reassurance, Yeonjun finally allowed himself to succumb to the enchantment of sleep. He was flung into a dream world, his mouth slightly open and breathing steady. 

Beomgyu stroked his friends' hair, admiring his innocent, peaceful sleeping face. 

When Yeonjun woke up, Beomgyu wanted to hit him with some good news. It would be difficult to find any leads on the case, but he wouldn't give up searching. If he could make Yeonjun happy again, he would go to whatever lengths necessary. 

"Sleep well, angel. You've worked hard."

The path ahead didn't look easy. But if they walked that rocky road together, they could face anything that lay in their way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!
> 
> Thank you for reading! I was so sad writing this poor Yeonjun :( Anyway, feel free to let me know your thoughts in the comments or on my twitter @angstyun <3
> 
> Stay safe and hydrated!
> 
> \- Megan


	14. Brother

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains graphic violence. Please read at your own risk.
> 
> \- Megan

Kai was overwhelmed with a feeling of fight or flight.

His heart was doing laps in his chest, rapidly beating faster than it had ever done before. Every time he crossed the finish line, his whole body would ache with exhaustion, pain spreading through it like a blazing wildfire. It was impossible to stop his hand from trembling. The prospect of the future was something he didn’t even want to consider, yet there was simply no way to escape it. 

He had to face it.

If he could rewind the clock, he’d return to the sweet beginnings. Kai would turn his back on this dangerous life in an instant and never look back. He would take a life of poverty any day over losing his source of happiness, his world. 

Losing Taehyun would be a fatal wound, one from which he would never recover. 

"Sit."

The boy did as the demon instructed. His eyes wouldn't leave Taehyun, a comforting expression encouraging him to continue. His brother was so calm, so accepting of his possible demise. It made Kai’s skin turn to ice. He could only wish to share his emotionless demeanour. 

“Recognise this game, kid?”

Taking his seat, the devil slid a deck of playing cards from their packet, shuffling them between his fingers with great skill. Taehyun watched on with a keen analytical eye, looking for any unfair play or forgery. If he was wagering his life, he wouldn’t let cheating get passed him easily. 

“Higher or lower, Huening Kai.”

The monster slammed the deck onto the table, the grin on his face widening with every passing second. He flipped over the top card, the 7 of diamonds staring at Kai menacingly. 

“Make your choice wisely.”

Taehyun wasn’t surprised at the choice of game. It was one that Yeonjun often used to toy with his enemies, almost always ending with them sprawled across the floor, blood spewing from their fatal wounds. 

It was a game of luck, a 50% chance at life or death. Kai could do nothing but hope that luck was on his side. This would be the biggest decision he had ever made; there was no room for mistakes. 

“Higher or lower, Kai. We don’t have all day.”

Kai looked to Taehyun for guidance, desperation eating him up and threatening to break him. He didn’t want to choose wrong. He didn’t want to be the reason why his brother disappeared from the world. He didn’t want to lose him.

“Go with your heart, Kai. Whatever happens, it’s not your fault. I still love you and will always love, no matter what the outcome turns out to be.”

Taking a deep inhale, Kai closed his eyes tightly shut. He needed to slow the beating drum of his heart and prevent his hands from shaking quite so much. If he wanted to make a rational decision, he needed to calm down.

“Lower. I pick lower.”

The demon licked his lips, flipping over the card as slow as possible. Kai could feel his heart threatening to break out from its rib cage, kicking and punching against it violently. His future lay within that single card. He couldn’t take his eyes off it.

He was too fixated on his crumbling state to notice the sleight-of-hand, the sneaky and foul play from his opponent. Everything moved too fast, and before Kai could even register the change of card, the ace of spades was staring up at him from the table.

He had lost, his whole world shattering around him by the second. The pieces of his broken reality dug into his skin, leaving lasting wounds that would never heal, not ever. He began to hyperventilate as his body fell into a complete meltdown, disaster mode. 

“Did you not think I’d see that you bastard? You cheated! You cheated!”

The demon got up from his seat, swiping the cards from the table and watching them scatter across the floor. He laughed, his sinister grin making Taehyun sick to his stomach. This monster never intended to let them win.

“And what are you going to do about it, Taehyun? I never said it would be a fair game.”

The blood in Taehyun’s veins had reached boiling point. Anger took over, filing his every pore with toxic venom, ready to kill. 

Kang Taehyun had snapped.

He grabbed the devil's collar, slamming him into the wall behind with no mercy. It was reminiscent of their last encounter, yet the roles had drastically shifted.

"You know what? Fuck you!”

The jagged walls dug into the demon's back, a smirk clear as day on his face. He had no worries, not even a shred of fear. Taehyun had become the ravage beast he had trained him to be, and he took great pride in seeing the outcome of his beating. If his student wanted to hurt him, he would allow it. After all, he wouldn't be alive for much longer anyway.

“Oh, and what are you going to do to me, Taehyun?”

It was hysterical, his words licked with sarcasm and laughter. There was little that Taehyun could actually do in the circumstances, let alone physically harm him. It was a joke, yet Taehyun's brain seemed to be running on nothing but rage and frustration. 

His barrier had broken, his violent being slipping through the broken shards and out into the open. The uncontrollable puma deep inside had destroyed its chain. It was hungry for vengeance, starving for the blood of its enemies. 

Deep down, Taehyun was out for cold-blooded murder, nothing else.

“I’ll hurt you. I’ll beat you till you’re bleeding. I’ll let you in on my constant nightmares, frightening, sickening, twisted little nightmares. All because of you.”

With a sickening smirk, the monster let out a chuckle. Taehyun’s threats were pathetic. He wasn’t scared at all, nor did his heart even begin to race. He saw him as no more than a toy, a puppet in which to manipulate into evil. Once he was finished controlling him, he would strangle Taehyun with his own strings. 

“Me? You’re going to hurt me? Don’t make me laugh, you pathetic little child.”

The beast laughed, chuckling so hard that he had to try and catch his breath. He clutched his stomach before, instantly, the laughter stopped. It ceased. His eyes morphed to a piercing gaze, a maniacal streak flaring up inside them. It was madness in its purest form. 

Insanity.

“I’m going to murder you.”

Before Taehyun could prepare himself, a sharp punch flew towards his face. It smacked into his jaw. His vision was distorted, his body falling to the ground in dizziness. It didn’t hurt too greatly, but he was unable to steady himself quick enough to avoid the next attack.

The demon’s foot made contact with Taehyun’s ribs, a slight crunching sound playing on impact. Pain filled groans spilt from his lips. The man had no problem kicking him when he was down, inflicting intense injury upon him before he’d even had a chance to stand up for himself. 

He continued his assault, kicking the boy over and over and over, each time getting more violent and more aggressive than the last. Every kick was harder than the last. Every breath was more painful than before. And with every second, he took one more step on the path of extinction. 

With every strike, Taehyun found it harder and harder to keep breathing. The pain was intense, more than anything he had felt before. It was as if his body was giving up, collapsing on itself to get away from the agony, trying to escape from the monster that continued to batter his bruised figure.

Blood spluttered from his mouth. It stained the floor with its crimson pigment, a look of satisfaction written plainly across the monsters face. He wanted to see Taehyun bleed. Nothing bought him as much pleasure as that. 

“That’s what you fucking get! Come and hurt me now Taehyun. Huh? Well, come on!”

And with another kick, even harder than the last, Taehyun was left in a defenceless heap upon the floor. He was crying in pain, coughing and wheezing, curled up into a tiny ball where nobody could reach him. 

It reminded Kai of his brother’s intense nightmares. They had plagued his sleep for so long, yet he never thought that he would see them become a reality in front of his eyes. There was no way that he would just idly watch his brother be beaten to his last breath. If anyone touched Taehyun, they deserved to burn in the fiery rings of hell. He would make sure that they suffered for what they had done, even if he had to enact that revenge himself. 

He had to do something.

Mustering all of his courage, Kai ran towards the assailant. He shoved him with as much force as possible, allowing his intense emotions to power his movements.

Despite his best efforts, the demon had hardly shifted from his spot. All he had achieved was making himself a target, soon finding himself being shoved towards the ground. 

He slammed into the floor, scraping his elbows against the stone and aggravating his already aching wounds. Blood ran down his arms, his body screaming at him to stop and rest. And before he had time to counter, the demon had already made his next move.

The monster crouched over Taehyun’s weakened body, looking down at him with a maniacal smirk. He took a knife from his pocket, running his finger along the blade to test its intense sharpness. A cut formed across his finger, blood bubbling out of it drip by drip. 

He was satisfied with its killing ability. 

“You’re so weak. No wonder Yeonjun doesn’t fucking care enough to come find you.” 

He played with the knife, placing it over Taehyun’s beating heart. With just a slight movement, he could puncture it and watch him slowly drain out to his death. 

“He wouldn’t even care if you died here, Taehyun. You’re worth nothing to him.”

Moving the knife away from his chest, he stared into the boy’s hazelnut eyes. They trembled with fear, looking drained and tired, fed up. Yet deep inside, there was still a bright shining light. 

Taehyun still had hope. 

It made the demon frustrated. He wanted to crush it like an insect, destroying any idea of freedom Taehyun may harbour. He desired to completely ruin the boy.

So he needed to get rid of it.

The blade of the knife lingered so close to Taehyun’s eye that he could feel it brushing gently against his lashes. One tiny movement and it would plunge into it; unimaginable pain was almost imminent. 

His heart raced. It beat so fast that he could hardly muster a single breath from his lips. His body's cries of pain were drowned out by the thumping drum of his heart, beating over and over, getting faster and faster.

Anticipation.

A sharp pain shot through his eye, followed shortly by a shriek from his lips. It throbbed in discomfort, screamed in agony over and over as he tried to get to grasp with the incoming pain. 

It was so painful. 

Yet there was no hot liquid trickling from his eye, no blood. It seemed he hadn’t been stabbed, but rather struck with the handle of the knife instead. It was all just a game to that man, a farce that he could laugh about. But to Taehyun, it was incredibly uncomfortable. 

“Don’t let him die. I’ll finish him later.”

Leaving the screaming child alone, the demon got up from his position. He brushed himself down, slipping the knife back into his suit pocket as if nothing had happened. 

“I have business to deal with.”

The demon beckoned over Eagle nest and Bush troll, commanding them to follow. Turning sharply on his heels, he made his way out, his loyal servants trailing behind him, leaving the crying boy to write in pain on the stone-cold floor, a hand clasped tightly over his injured eye.

Kai wasted no time, cradling the quaking boy in his arms. Blood dripped onto the floor from the gash on his elbow, but Kai didn’t care. All he wanted to do right now was shield his brother from further injury, elevating his head from the cold ground and hoping that somehow he would be okay.

Taehyun’s eye was clamped shut, the pain still pulsating through his body. It fucking hurt. Every beat of his heart stung. It was agony to even breathe, his lungs begging for merciful relief. He shook with sobs of pain and anguish.

“Tae, I’m here. I’m here. I promise you’ll be okay. I’m here. Please be okay.”

Kai didn’t know what to do. He didn’t know how they were ever supposed to get out of this situation alive, even if Yeonjun was to come after them. Every bone in his body wished Taehyun had never met that man. They would have been fine on their own, perfectly capable of protecting and funding themselves. As soon as he had finished school, they could have raised enough money to get on with their lives.

Yeonjun was at fault for all of this. And if Taehyun was to die, Kai would never forgive him.

“Let me help you. Please.”

Looking up at the voice, Kai blinked back the water in his eyes. It was welling up, threatening to roll down his cheeks at any moment. 

“I know this is hard, but try and trust me, please.”

The man Kai had named Lapdog approached slowly, his stern face turned to a sympathetic gaze. It told a story of immense guilt, emotions that had been covered for so long. Even after all he had done, Kai could detect no hint of dishonesty. He seemed genuinely ridden with guilt, being eaten away from the inside by what he had done. 

“I never thought things would go this far, Kai. I don’t want anyone to die. Please, let me help you, both of you.”

Kai was hesitant. After all this time, he really had no reason to trust this man. Yet Taehyun needed help. And if this man could provide him with some rest bite, he had no opinion but to try.

“He’s going to help us Tae, yeah?”

Kai let go of Taehyun carefully, the elder clinging onto his shirt in fright. There was little he could do to comfort him, yet Kai continued to stroke his hair in an attempt to make the pain at least bearable. 

“Could you move his hand away from his eye? I want to cover it to stop the light getting to it. And make sure to keep his head elevated.”

Gently, Kai pried Taehyun’s hand from his eye, linking their fingers together to keep him reassured. Lapdog wrapped some cloth around it like a bandage. He acted with care, being as delicate as possible not to inflict any more pain upon him. Kai appreciated the assistance. It allowed him to fully focus on his brother’s mental state, attempting to keep him as calm as possible. 

Kai had seen a new side of Taehyun today, one that he had harboured inside him for so long. It was the shadow that followed him, the monster that caused his nightmares. It was the side that he had tried to keep hidden, the caged animal inside.

But Kai wasn’t scared.

Taehyun would never hurt him, especially intentionally. He wasn’t surprised to see such a violent side of him. After all, he had been through, it made sense for him to have developed a darker side. Kai still loved him just the same.

“I wish I had that kind of relationship with my brother. I have to admit, I’m a bit jealous.”

Lapdog laughed a little, rubbing his neck. He seemed a little overwhelmed, the thoughts whizzing around inside his head becoming a little too much for him. His brother seemed like a touchy subject, one he barely ever discussed.

“You don’t get on well with him...”

Kai trailed off, not sure how best to address the man in front of him. He didn’t particularly want to call him Lapdog, especially as he was essentially betraying his master at this moment in time. 

“Oh. I didn’t introduce myself, did I? I’m Choi Sungho.”

With a smile, Kai forgave everything that Sungho had previously done. After seeing vulnerable people be manipulated for years, Kai could perfectly understand his previous mindset. He was willing to let everything go, believing heavily in second chances. 

“It’s nice to meet you Sungho.”

Sungho seemed touched by the action, his tense posture relaxing into a more natural state. It was the first time that Kai had seen him so comfortable.

“Something happened between my brother and me a few years ago, and it completely destroyed both of us. I think the last time I properly talked to Soobin was his graduation. Anytime after that was just arguing.”

Kai paused for a moment, taking time for the cogs inside his head to turn. Everything started to perfectly slot into its assigned place, the puzzle building up faster and faster until it was near completion. With every new piece, the jigsaw became simpler, the image clear as day.

“...Soobin? As in...Choi Soobin? Is he….”

Letting out a short sigh, Sungho tensed at the mention of Soobin’s name. His gaze was no longer watching over Taehyun, but rather, staring into the dark corner of the room. It seemed that his head was crowded with thoughts, the office inside his mindset ablaze. 

“That’s right.”

There was no more hiding his identity, no more running away from the past. He had to face it head-on.

“Choi Soobin is my brother.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi :)
> 
> I bet nobody saw that coming :D 
> 
> The Misanthropy storyline will progress very quickly from now on so I just want to take some time to thank you all for sticking with me over the last couple of months. The support I've received has been far more than I had ever imagined and I am so grateful for all of you :(
> 
> As always, thank you for reading. Feel free to let me know your thoughts in the comments or on my twitter @angstyun <3
> 
> Stay safe!
> 
> \- Megan


	15. Crown

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is dedicated to my friend Marti ♥ Happy birthday lovely. Thank you for being such a good friend to me :( I love you
> 
> This chapter contains graphic violence. Please read at your own risk.
> 
> \- Megan

Yeonjun opened his eyes in a nostalgic place, the light of day gently seeping through his ajar curtains. The room was different from the one he had closed his eyes in, yet it was not an unfamiliar location. 

It took him back in time a couple years to when life was easy. The responsibility of being in charge did not rest upon his shoulders then, neither did the imminent fear of disappointment or failure. His father sheltered him, trained and protected him. 

Yeonjun never realised then how difficult it was to be king, ruling over the people with a stone-cold persona and iron fist. He never believed the day of reckoning would arrive so soon; he never thought his father would be murdered. 

Until his body lay full of bullet holes, right in front of his eyes.

“Morning Jun.”

There he was, standing in the doorway. His pristine, white shirt was tucked into black suit bottoms, a tie lay absentmindedly around his neck, waiting to be fixed. There were no holes in his body, no spurts of gushing blood, no cold, pale, lifeless gaze upon his face. He didn’t look anything close to death. 

In fact, his father looked healthier than ever. 

“Good morning...”

Yeonjun’s throat felt dry, his hands shaking under the duvet. It felt weird to see him breathing again. It was something that he could only dream of, a fantasy that he had long since let go of. Reality was a cruel monster. It would never let him forget the love he held, or how much his heart ached in agony even now. 

“You alright? You seem a bit on edge.”

Yeonjun’s father wasn’t one to express many emotions, especially around others, but he held a soft spot in his heart for his one and only son. He took great pride in him, buying him whatever he desired and training him up to defend himself from harm. It wasn’t in any shape or form an ideal situation to bring up a child, yet he could only hope to do his very best. After all, Yeonjun would eventually be the one wearing the golden crown himself. 

“It’s just...you’re supposed to be dead.” 

Letting out a laugh, Yeonjun’s father flashed him a rare genuine smile. 

“Dead? I’m not dead. Not yet anyway.”

His final words filled Yeonjun with a sense of dread. There was a hint of expectancy in his tone, an edge to his words that seemed to foreshadow the coming months ahead. It was a sickening thought.

“I have a busy schedule today. I want you to continue your undercover work at the casino. Don’t fuck it.”

Yeonjun felt the blood rushing to his head. It had been so long since he had investigated the casino, no longer needing to survey it under Taehyun’s rule. Everything felt wrong like the world was spinning backwards on its axis, reversing time with every turn.

“Uh...okay-”

“Promise me you’ll be careful. I don’t want you going anywhere anytime soon.”

Death wasn’t something that scared Yeonjun. He was used to living every single day as if it was his last, taking every step with intention and drive. Growing up around crime twisted your mind, the end of your days could be waiting around any corner, ready to pounce. 

“One day, Yeonjun, my time here will come to an end. And when it does, I know you’ll become a ruler better than I ever could have been.”

Something about his words was harrowing. There was no doubt in his voice, yet there was a tinge of guilt and sorrow, dread. They touched Yeonjun deeply, stabbing right through the barrier and puncturing the sensitive heart inside. 

“You’re a perfect leader already.”

Yeonjun’s dad sat on the bed, placing his hands upon his son’s shoulders. His eyes were a pool of regret, a lake of heart-wrenching pain, a glistening layer of water acting as a barrier to the truth. 

“I have many flaws, Jun, things that will ultimately lead me to my death. The only way I have lived this long is through one simple principle.”

Their eyes locked together, millions of unsaid messages transmitting between them.

"Sometimes, those who you least expect will stab you when your back is turned.”

It was a motto that Yeonjun had sworn to live by. Ever since his father had passed, he had failed to conform to those principles. He was too forgiving, too trusting. Somebody inside his iron walls could be wielding the knife, ready to impale his heart at any given moment. 

“Trust no one, Yeonjun.”

It was a message that he wasn’t ready to take, but one he undoubtedly had to face. There was nothing he could do to stop the tide from coming to the shore. He just needed to be ready to face it when it did. 

“Trust no one.”

Yeonjun opened his eyes slowly, his familiar bedroom forming through his blurry, sleep-ridden vision. His father was gone, replaced with the well-known face of his partner in crime, staring at him from the end of the bed. 

“Hey.”

Chipping away at his brain bit by bit, Yeonjun’s father’s words circled through his head. There was no way that Beomgyu would be untrustworthy, yet the doubt still flickered inside his chest. If his best friend backstabbed him after all these years, he would never be able to trust again. 

“Feeling any better?”

Yeonjun nodded, trying to process everything that had just happened. The hole his father had left was seeping open, blood pouring from his chest, his body weak and feeble. Holding the crown was a hefty responsibility, it was a heavy weight that pushed down on his shoulders. There was no way that he was a superior king to his father, the perfect monarch. 

“Casper just called.”

Sitting up in bed, Yeonjun stretched out his arms wide. After finally taking a well-deserved rest, he felt ready to set the world ablaze. 

“You know Jae was checking to see if we could find anything on CCTV? Well, he found a clip that correlates to what we managed to salvage from the casino before. He sent it to Casper, and he’s identified the dude.”

Beomgyu passed Yeonjun a blurry CCTV image, a lightbulb immediately switching on inside his brain.

“You know him?”

It would be impossible for Yeonjun to ever forget that man’s face. The bushiness of his eyebrows brought the boss extreme discomfort and gave him a constant desire to attack him with a pair of tweezers.

“Oh. Yeah, I know him. He’s in debt to me.”

Bush brows was another casino victim, gambling away all his money till he was left begging on his knees for mercy. He was a violent participant at the time, getting thrown out the door in seconds of threatening the bartender. Yeonjun just wished Taehyun had smacked him in the face a little bit harder. 

“He probably knows something we don’t.”

Yeonjun had been failing his friends for far too long now, always being one step behind the attacks and failing to be ready when the time came. He had nearly lost Soobin, then Kai, and now Taehyun too had been taken far out of his reach. Everything inside him simmered with anger. The bonfire inside waited for a single spark to set the night ablaze. And once the first had been lit, there was no going back from there.

“I don’t fucking care what it takes. I can torture him for hours and hours on end if I need to. We’re getting that info.”

Practically jumping out of bed, Yeonjun unbuttoned his ruffled shirt to change into a fresh one. Even if he completely ruined yet another white shirt, he was prepared to spill blood if necessary. 

“Tell Jae to keep looking to see if he can find anything else. Then Casper can come here and protect Soobin whilst we go. I don’t trust anyone but them right now. They can do it, right? It’ll be fine. It’s fine.”

Yeonjun paced back and forth, fumbling over his shirt buttons. The monsters inside his head reminded him of his personal flaws, the instability of his walls, the cracks in his persona. If only he could go back in time, he would head his father’s warning with extra care. 

“I’ll sort it. You drive. Chill the fuck out, alright?.”

Beomgyu threw Yeonjun the pair of car keys, a smile plastered on his face. Whilst he hated driving immensely, the boss was always eager to take to the wheel for himself. After years of being escorted around, he loved the feeling of the open road and the freedom that driving gave him. Of course, he was not known for being the best or safest of drivers, but he loved to relish in the ability to just breathe without fear for one moment. 

“Let’s fucking go.”

No matter what he had to do, Yeonjun wouldn’t come back without a plan. Taehyun and Kai would come home; he would make sure of it.

-

As Yeonjun turned off the engine, his body tensed. His leg shook up and down, his fingers tapping a rhythm against the steering wheel. 72 hours was gradually ticking away by the second, their final breaths becoming closer and closer to reality. There was no time to waste, no time to rest. He had already delayed action for far too long now. They were running out of time.

If this lead turned out to be a dead-end, Yeonjun didn’t know what he was supposed to do. 

“It’ll be okay. We’ll find them, Jun. We will.”

Beomgyu took Yeonjun’s hand in his own, rubbing it gently to provide reassurance and comfort. It was warm, home-like. It reminded Yeonjun that he wasn’t walking through the darkness on his own. His best friend stood right beside him, holding his hand through every step.

“Yeah, you’re right. We will.”

Stepping out of the car, the toxicity of the city filled Yeonjun’s lungs. It made his chest tighter, a mixture of anxiety and poison swirling around inside. 

“This is where the camera last picked him up.”

The camera lay outside of a well-known alley, the casino of his closest rival residing at the end of it. It didn’t surprise Yeonjun one bit. The man was known for handling money poorly.

“Gambling again, huh? Come on.”

Stepping foot on someone else’s property wasn’t the best idea, yet Yeonjun had lost the ability to give a fuck by now. He was frustrated, angry. If he had to cross into enemy lines to get what he wanted, then he would be more than happy to face the consequences. 

Luckily for them, the man in question was loitering alone in the entrance, the very end of a cigarette between his fingers. His eyes widened as he clocked onto the pair approaching, stamping out his cigarette on the ground. It seemed he was prepped for confrontation. 

“What are you doing here?”

Beomgyu pulled his gun from his pocket, pressing the barrel to the man’s chest, his emotionless gaze unwavering. There was no doubt, no hesitation. 

Interrogation wasn’t something new to Beomgyu. In fact, he had been carrying out brutal, violent questioning on suspects for years. A couple of broken bones or a pool of blood didn’t phase him one bit. Whatever he had to do, he would make sure to get what he wanted, even if excessive force was necessary. 

“I think it would be in your best interest to answer some of our questions.”

The man swallowed, the tough, unbothered mask cracking into shards. Yeonjun could understand. When faced with life or death, human’s were simply selfish creatures. It was easy to get under their skin, infecting them like a parasite and eating them up from the inside. They’d always crumble eventually. And when they did, Yeonjun would be sure to stamp upon the broken pieces. 

“Against the wall.”

Using the weapon in his hand to exert force onto the suspect’s chest, Beomgyu backed him into the wall, It would only take one second for a bullet to pierce into his skin, a life cut short pointlessly, a wasted opportunity. 

“Where is he?”

Yeonjun towered over Beomgyu like a puppet master, yet he definitely wasn’t pulling the strings. The pair were an inseparable duo, a perfectly balanced partnership of right and wrong, justice and corruption. 

Beomgyu had always been level headed when Yeonjun failed to be. He provided Yeonjun with guidance when things went wrong, a sturdy shoulder to lean on when things became impossible to deal with alone. He was a pillar on which Yeonjun came to heavily rely on. Without him, everything in the kingdom would have already crumbled.

“Who?”

There was nothing Beomgyu loved more than seeing Yeonjun succeed. Even as a child, his main aim had been to support his friend unconditionally. Growing up as the son of a gang leader wasn’t easy, it was filled with constant anxiety and fear. Kidnap and ransom was a very real threat. And if they weren’t careful, a very real reality.

Beomgyu became the friend that Yeonjun could rely on, the one he could play with without fear of being stabbed in the back. He had no obligation, no pressure to become the right-hand man of such an influential figure, yet he did all the same. 

Just just as his parents had supported Yeonjun’s father, he wanted to be the one to stand by Yeonjun’s side through the raging fires, no matter how hot the flames became. It was a vow he made to himself, an eternal promise. 

“You know exactly what I’m talking about. Don’t play stupid with me.”

The death of Yeonjun’s father was a wake-up call that neither were particularly ready for. He had watched the boss grow from an immature teen to a legendary leader in such a short space of time, unable to ever stop and process his own feelings.

Beomgyu had picked up the pieces one by one. He stuck Yeonjun back together into some form of makeshift human and kept his engine running, fueling it every time it was near to exhaustion. He was the king behind the scenes, the cogs that made the kingdom function as a collective. 

“I don’t.”

On the surface, Yeonjun was an all-powerful autocrat. Yet deep beneath the walls, the kingdom was not run by one sole ruler, but two. 

“Come on bush brows, you’re not dumb. You know how this works. Either you speak freely, or I make you. I know which one I’d rather do.”

Beomgyu’s voice was laced with not even a hint of humour or anger. It was completely calm and collected. He had done this countless times over the years. If things had to get messy, he would use as much force as was deemed necessary. 

“I don’t know anything.”

The sarcasm laced in the prisoner's voice rubbed Beomgyu the wrong way. It irritated the silently bubbling frustration in his gut, the lava that simmered inside him. He channelled it. 

“And even if I did, why the fuck would I tell you? You have no authority over me.”

The man spat at Yeonjun in disgust. Beomgyu’s aggression bubbled to the surface. He gripped onto the man’s arm, shoving him onto the hard floor beneath his feet. 

“I’ll just kill you and send all your pathetic backstabbing little friends to join you.”

Smirking, the man looked up at the pair in hysterics.

“Taehyun has everything coming to him.”

Yeonjun slammed his foot onto the man’s throat, pressing down slightly to restrict his breathing. With every second, his chance of suffocation grew higher and higher, Yeonjun’s angry stance unwavering. He didn’t care how long he had to make this man suffer. 

“Where.”

He wasn’t leaving without an answer. 

“West.”

The peasant beneath his feet croaked out an answer, Yeonjun gradually releasing the pressure on his airways. 

“Through the abandoned area. In the basement of a house, you know too well.”

Removing the pressure, the edges of Yeonjun’s lips curled up into a sick smirk. He wanted to chuckle, to let the poisonous toxins free from every pore in his body. The memories of the past coiled around his body like a serpent, the house that meant so much to him fresh in his mind. 

He hadn’t dared to go near it, afraid of seeing the effects that time had inflicted upon it. It had been left untouched for years now, dusty, broken, the furniture shattered and walls unpainted. The basement in which he practised with his father was near collapse, as was the fake reality of his childhood happiness that had shattered long ago. 

“He’s waiting for you, and you’d better hurry. Time is running out for them.”

Before Yeonjun could react, Beomgyu had drawn his gun. There was little hesitation in his movements. He flicked off the safety and slammed his finger onto the trigger. A bullet impaled through the man’s still thumping chest, his blood spurting out, his final breath taken. He was dead in an instant. 

“I think it’s about time you stepped up to the board, Jun.”

As the lake of crimson formed underneath Yeonjun’s feet, the day of reckoning seemed closer than ever. The end was coming.

“It’s time to reclaim your crown.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trust no one.


	16. Everybody wants to rule the world

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is dedicated to the #antimegan club ♥ Without your support, I don't think I would have ever got to this stage of Misanthropy and I am so incredibly grateful for your support. I love you all.
> 
> Heads up, this chapter contains descriptions of graphic violence. Read at your own risk.

“We only have one chance to get this right.”

The air was thick with tension. Nobody dared to open their mouth, unable to find the right words to mutter. There was no saying whether all five of them would ever gather in such an instance again, and that was a terrifying thought to have. 

“If we mess it up, they’re fucked. Fucked. And so are we.”

As always, Beomgyu took the helm of the ship, making the decisions that Yeonjun could not. The boss trusted him to direct such a dangerous mission more than anyone else, knowing the skill sets of others like the back of his hand. With trusted allies like Casper, Jae and Soobin alongside them, the recovery seemed all the more plausible.

“As Yeonjun and I know the house best, we’ll split into two. We’re running out of time and the fastest way to get this over with is to split up. I know it’s stupid, but we have no choice.”

Their lives sat in the palm of Yeonjun's hands, fragile. One movement could send them skyrocketing to the ground, shattering into thousands of irreparable shards at his feet. 

The timer was gradually ticking, the bomb coming closer and closer to exploding. If Yeonjun slacked off for even a second, the alarm would ring and everything would be over. He had a duty to bring them home safely, no matter what he had to lose along the way.

“Casper and I will scout out the premises from the back entrance. They’ll be expecting us to go from the back, not walk right through the middle. Jun and Jae will take the main entrance.”

Yeonjun trusted Casper with every inch of his being, confident that he would protect Beomgyu with his life. He had chosen to stay by Yeonjun’s side himself, despite his ability to be free from such duty. There was no longer a chain that forced him to the boss’ side, yet he had decided to freely reside there. It was a give and take relationship, and one both parties greatly appreciated. 

“You know that place like the back of your hand, Jun. If anyone can find them, it’s you.”

Finally taking into account his slightly trembling hands, Yeonjun zoned back into the conversation. He hadn’t realised he was shaking, maybe from adrenaline or simply fear, but it was incredibly irritating. Despite his head being ready to fight for his life, his body wasn’t so sure that it wanted to face potential death. 

“What about me? I can still be useful.”

Soobin didn’t seem at all bothered by his injuries, despite his near-death experience. He was eager to help out in any way possible, lay his life down on the table to save his friends. It made Yeonjun’s stomach churn with anxiety, eating away at the possibility that he might never be able to hold him close again. He was at fault for dragging him into such a life in the first place. He felt responsible. 

“No. No way. I’m not putting you in danger like that Soobin.”

After losing his father, Yeonjun wasn’t willing to let someone else he loved slip through his grasp like tiny grains of sand. Soobin was too important to let go. Even if it was selfish, he wanted to protect him from the toxic world, save him from the dangers that faced him daily. He wanted to keep him safe.

“Yeonjun-”

“No. Absolutely not.”

Yeonjun wouldn’t let Soobin become a chess piece. The moment he was placed upon the board, his life would be in the hands of Yeonjun's opponent and his pawns. He didn’t want to meet Soobin again in the clouds; he wanted to feel his warmth, see his lips turn up into a smile, hear his beautiful laughter for many years to come. 

He wasn’t ready to let go just yet. 

“Jun, we need all the help we can get, and you know that.”

Letting out a sigh, Yeonjun avoided Beomgyu’s gaze. He knew it was judgemental, scolding him for being selfish and persistent. 

“Soobin, I need you to be ready to help Tae and Kai escape far away. It’s a simple job that won’t cause you to be in too much danger.”

If Yeonjun was the king upon the chessboard, then Beomgyu was definitely the player. He knew exactly what moves would keep him safe, avoiding a checkmate even at the cost of others. He was fair but practical. As long as the king continued to live, the game would continue on.

It wasn’t something Beomgyu enjoyed. He wanted to keep everyone safe from torment and anguish, yet it was practically impossible to pull everyone from the fire. Sacrifices had to be made in one form or the other, no matter how sick a mindset that was. Being in the gang industry had taught him valuable lessons, nothing was possible without sacrifice. 

“I’ll do it. But if something happens to one of you, I’m stepping in.”

Everyone but Yeonjun seemed to be in agreement, Casper gently nodding his head at Soobin's words. He admired his courage and commitment, despite his injury. 

“I refu-”

“You can’t stop me, Yeonjun. I’m not sitting here and letting you go get yourself killed. If this is the end, we’re going down together. That’s what I want.”

Yeonjun crossed his arms, sulking in his chair like a little kid. He was frustrated that he couldn’t get his way, irritated that even he knew Soobin was right. There was nothing Yeonjun could do to stop him. 

“It’s settled then.”

The timer had begun, the ticking of the clock constantly ringing through the air. The bomb had been laid. Either they walked out victorious, or they took their last breaths together. 

Going back was no longer a possibility. 

“We’ll have earpieces for the mission. Keep them at all times. If you need back up, we will be there. We are getting out of there alive. All of us.”

The flames in Beomgyu’s eyes ignited the bonfire deep inside Yeonjun’s chest. It lit a thousand fireworks in his gut, exploding into his every breath. He had to fight. He had to rid himself of every emotion that made him weak, and that included shutting off his heart for good. 

“Make sure you have everything ready. There’s no going back after tonight.”

If he wanted to save them, he needed to seal up the cracks in his barrier. He had to wipe all the progress he had made, turning his thawing heart back to stone-cold ice. He needed to be cold-blooded, a monster that struck fear into the hearts of the people. It was the only way. And to do that, he had to let his emotions run wild, no matter how dangerous.

“Soobin. Can I talk to you for a second?”

Yeonjun opened the door to the balcony, a fresh breeze cutting through the constricting air. He took a deep inhale, unlocking the fortified prison within his chest. 

“Oh. Yeah, of course.”

It was late afternoon, the sun slowly becoming one with the city and disappearing into the skyline. The sky was like a watercolour painting, oranges and blues merging together into a gradient across the canvas, splashes of yellow mixed between the vibrant hues. The last dregs of the light illuminated the hovering clouds with their rays. It was simply breathtaking.

“Wow.”

Soobin took a step onto the ledge, placing his hands atop the railings. He was immersed in the beauty of the glistening sun rays fading one by one, the city morphing from natural to artificial light. 

“It's pretty.”

A smile formed on Yeonjun’s pretty lips, his eyes locked onto the beaming sun in front of him. The boy was his light, his sunrise in the darkness of the night. He was the emotions that Yeonjun had long since let go of. There was nothing to fear when they were together. 

“Really pretty.”

Yeonjun’s eyes locked onto Soobin, never once admiring the scenery around him. The most beautiful thing in his life stood by his side, his eyes glowing with fascination. No matter how hard Yeonjun tried, he couldn’t rid himself of his feelings. He couldn’t help but love him. It was a war of hearts, and one he would never be able to win. 

“You know, Bin. This might be my last day here.”

The boss stared out towards the city, leaning his arms on the railings. He always knew the day would come when he had to stay goodbye, but he never expected the time to be so soon. The odds of winning were low, and even if victory was assured, things would never be the same again.

Yeonjun had been broken. The role of king had been snatched from under his feet by someone he trusted deeply. There was nobody outside of his circle that he could rely on, no one to turn to. It was a revolution, a rebellion that he had failed to crush in its early days. He was too naive, too blind to see the atrocities that bounded against him behind his back. 

“Jun what do you…”

Letting out a little chuckle, Yeonjun ran a hand through his hair, taking a moment to take everything in. It was no secret to anyone that retrieving his friends was a mission of life or death. One wrong step could lead him to a landmine, exploding his hopes into thousands of pieces. 

“If this all goes wrong...I have no doubt that it’ll be the end for me.”

If death was waiting for him at the end of the corridor, he would stare it dead in the eyes. He would challenge the very nature of fate to save them, even if he lost every single part of himself in the process. Not even the six fiery rings of hell could stop him from marching forward, he wasn’t coming back empty-handed. 

“But it’s okay, Soobin.”

As the day began to whittle away, Soobin became illuminated brightly by the fading light. He was almost like a guardian angel, his wings invisible to a simple mortal like Yeonjun. 

“I’ve lost...so many people in my life, people I held closely and dearly, people who managed to touch even the deepest parts of my heart.”

Yeonjun was human. No matter how much he tried, there was no way to erase the pain that ached in his chest, the agony that twisted into his heart. The loss was haunting. Even if he wanted to erase the past, there was no way to forget such precious memories overnight. They stayed with him, reminded him constantly about what he could have done differently, how he could have changed their fate with his own hands.

“I’m not scared of dying anymore, Bin. I think I'm ready to face it, but...if I’m going to die, I want to pass with no regrets.”

Taking Soobin’s hands in his own, Yeonjun locked eyes with him for a second. He was surprised at how soft and gentle his hands were, how innocent his eyes glistened in the fading light. Despite being plunged into a world of demons, Soobin had somehow managed to maintain his delicate and calming nature. It made Yeonjun’s heart pulsate inside his chest. 

“Jun?”

Yeonjun had to get everything out, releasing his emotions from their jail cell to be free of them. Just like his father, he had failed to keep his feelings from materialising. He had made the fatal mistake of allowing love to worm its way into his heart. 

Yet he wouldn’t wish for anything else.

“Thank you.”

A lump formed in his throat, his nerves starting to get the better of him. Opening up was a scary experience, one he had never really been brave enough to attempt before. It made him feel vulnerable. It allowed people to see into the darkest parts of his personality, his fragile, broken mental state sprawled across the ground like shattered glass. 

“For what?”

Soobin had never seen Yeonjun so nervous. His hands were gently shaking, his eyes darting around a little to avoid direct eye contact. The fear of feeling was greater than ever. 

“For speaking to the part of me that I thought had died long ago, for being the light in all my darkness.”

Soobin gave him the answers to the questions he had been asking for so long, filling the inner depth of the emptiness in his stomach. He proved that there were reasons for living in such a worthless world. He accepted his every fatal flaw, the sickening bloodstains upon his hands that never faded. He melted Yeonjun’s ice heart. 

“Choi Soobin...I don’t know what I feel because I’m not good at feelings but-”

“Can I kiss you?”

Yeonjun felt his breath hitch in his throat, a tiny pause and nod of his head followed by a delicate pair of lips upon his own. 

Soobin’s lips were softer than a cloud, melting against his own like hand-spun cotton candy. It was addictive, sweet. It was more than Yeonjun had ever dreamed a kiss to be. 

He wanted nothing more than to pull Soobin closer, to lock their lips together like the final piece of a jigsaw. He desired to delve into his chest and spill out his feelings across the floor like splattered blood. But as soon as the short kiss began, it was quickly over. As Soobin pulled away, their lips brushed together shyly. 

“Tell me when this is all over, yeah Junnie?”

Soobin’s words vibrated against Yeonjun’s lips, the boss’ cheeks burning brighter than the sun. It took him a moment to recover from the sudden display of affection, frozen in time, unable to mutter even a single word.

“I pro-

“Yeonjun.”

Appearing in the doorway, Beomgyu froze in his spot.

“Uh. Sorry I don’t mean to interrupt.”

The pair pulled apart instantly, their cheeks flushed red and eyes locked on the ground. Beomgyu hovered, rubbing his neck. He felt a little guilty for interrupting a sentimental moment, but they did have some friends that needed saving. 

“We should go now before it gets too dark.”

Yeonjun squeezed Soobin’s hand in his own, absorbing all his courage and strength. He was ready. 

“Let’s bring them home.”

-

Yeonjun never expected to see it again outside of his nightmares. His childhood home carried too many dreadful memories. The windows were full of bullet holes and the inside charred with ash. The once clean floorboards were stained with the blood of his parents, the pair murdered inside the crumbling walls.

He couldn’t bear to be there for too long. It made everything ache, his heart burning a hole through his chest in anger and pain. Every time he tried to go back, it brought up memories that made him wretch, shiver and completely break down. 

A place of happiness was turned into hell, and now it was being used against him. 

“There's guards. Quite a few.”

His feet had walked him to the familiar gate, a couple guards loitering in the driveway. There was a multitude of familiar faces, people Yeonjun had put his faith in. Thousands of sharp knives dug into his back, his heart bleeding in agony inside his chest. The snakes loathed him, despised his very being to the core. 

They wanted him gone.

“We can’t take them all. It’s too dangerous.”

Whilst Beomgyu began to ponder a strategy, Casper rose without hesitation, withdrawing his gun from its holster. It was incredibly risky for him to challenge so many people at once, yet he seemed set on that course of action. 

“Casper. What the fuck are you doing? Get back here.”

Yeonjun couldn’t imagine what life was like for Casper. He had lost his parents at a young age too, watching them die in front of his eyes from his own hands. Their blood was etched into his skin, never to be erased. It haunted his every sinful breath. 

“I’ll handle it.”

As Yeonjun grabbed his arm, their eyes locked together, the flame inside Casper blazing. He was ready for a fight, prepared to put his life on the line to protect them all in a heartbeat. If this was his way to atone for his sins, then he would put everything he had upon the table. 

“Please. Let me do this, Yeonjun. I’m the only one who can do this.”

No matter how hard Yeonjun tried to deny it, he knew Casper was right. He was the only one with enough experience and skill to even have a chance of taking all those guards, let alone making it back alive. His rage was unimaginably powerful. There was no other way.

“You’ll come back, right?”

The two shared a silent conversation, their hearts connecting into one. They had been friends for longer than Yeonjun could remember. The torture that Casper had been through was enough to make anyone go insane, yet somehow he had managed to maintain his humanity. Casper was Yeonjun's strength and stability. He taught him what it really meant to be a king, what it felt like to be at the bottom of the ladder, how it tasted to have your hopes crushed under the trampling feet of others. 

He taught Yeonjun how to be human.

“Of course. I promised to protect you till your final breath, Jun. I gave you my word. I don’t plan on backing out.”

Yeonjun slowly released his grip finger by finger, putting his heart in Casper’s hand. He had no choice but to trust his ability, letting him walk into the blazing flames with no protection. Even if it was against his better judgement, it was what Casper desperately wanted.

“Go.”

Flashing Yeonjun a short smile, Casper walked out of sight. The sound of bullets filled the air, screams and fast-paced footprints sending shivers down Yeonjun’s spine. He could only imagine the terror and fear, the blood splattered all over the patio of his childhood home. It made his hands tremble.

“Don’t let his sacrifice be in vain. You know the plan. If you find anything, you know what to do.”

Everyone nodded, Beomgyu making the first movement towards his location. His stance was strong, his hair tousled across his face. 

“You better not die Jun, or I’ll revive you just to kill you again myself.”

Yeonjun let out a laugh, his shoulders relaxing slightly. Beomgyu knew exactly what to say to calm his nerves, seeing right through the cover of his book and into its page. He was his soulmate and other half, his best friend through life or death. It was an unspoken promise. 

Both of them would get out of here alive.

“Let’s go, Jae.”

The distraction that Casper had created was remarkable. The door was only guarded by one man now, his attention distracted by the blood being spilt. 

It didn’t take long for Jae to withdraw his gun. The bullet hit him square in the chest, his body toppling to ground with a thud. Blood pooled out under Yeonjun’s quick feet, his gaze unbothered.

The entrance hall was just as he remembered. It was grand, a staircase winding up to the second floor. Yeonjun remembered when it was painted gold, the expensive decor forming a palace fit for a king. Now it was charred by the fire, a few of the stairs collapsed in, and the bright white decor turned to black. It made his heart sink.

Yeonjun pulled Jae around the corner into an adjacent room, the sound of shattering glass resonating through the crumbling interior. His hands were trembling, memories of the shower of bullets impaling into his head. 

“There’s so many possibilities of who it could be, so many people could be about to stab me in the back Jae. What if what happens to dad happens to me? I don’t want to fail him.”

The spider's web had been meticulously spun, all areas covered, it’s netting almost invincible. The moment Yeonjun had stepped onto the board, he was entangled in the web of deceit and lies. There was nobody who he could trust, nobody to truly protect his back. He was a useless king in a valley of fearless pawns. 

“I see.”

Completely immersing himself in the surroundings, Yeonjun took a deep breath and continued his steps. 

He failed to notice the snake behind his back, the viper ready to bite into his neck and drain him of everything he had. The moment Yeonjun had taken a step, his fate was already sealed upon the cards. It foresaw a future without his existence, his very last breath stolen away by someone who he trusted with all his heart. 

The same man who had murdered his father all those years ago.

“I think if they’re going to be anywhere, it’ll be in the basement. If I remember correctly, the stairs to it are-”

Yeonjun took a sharp inhale, the familiar sensation of metal against the back of his head cutting his airflow. 

“Didn’t your father ever tell you to be careful who you trust, Choi Yeonjun?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :)


	17. What it means to be king

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is dedicated to my wonderful friend Leo. Thank you for always encouraging me and motivating me to get through difficult times. I love you so much ♥ Happy birthday! I hope you have a good day!

Yeonjun's heart sank in his chest. 

It ached like it had been punctured by a thousand shards of glass, the little fractures working their way deep inside. The unexpected betrayal sliced into every part of his body, tearing it apart piece by piece until it was nothing but an empty shell. It scolded him for being so open, for allowing himself to trust foolishly again and again. 

After his father had died, Jae was the only one who’d managed to properly pick up the pieces. He acted like a big brother, giving his everything to make Yeonjun the loyal and just leader that his father had raised him to be. Jae was his father's best friend. In a world that was ever-changing, he was the constant that kept him grounded. 

He was home. 

But now, everything was changing.

“Take your earpiece out and turn around.”

Obeying the command, Yeonjun removed the earpiece and turned around to face him, the gun placed immediately against his heart. He didn't want to believe what was happening. He didn't want to accept that his treasured friend would brandish the knife against him, yet the evidence was right in front of his eyes. 

Jae stood there with a toothy grin, ecstatic, throwing the earpiece on the ground and crushing it with his foot. He had Yeonjun right where he wanted him. His arms and legs tangled in a thick web of lies, strung up like a marionette doll. Powerless.

“You know, your father was right, Yeonjun. You were a better king than he ever could have been, but you were never enough.”

Yeonjun never saw himself as superior to his father. In fact, he had failed to continue his father's legacy at all. Everyone had turned their backs on him, watching the fire consume him and offering no solution. He’d failed to gain their loyalty, the poison seeping into his rapidly beating heart.

“You both fell to the same fate all the same. All because of love.”

Trust was something that Yeonjun’s father had given to that man on a platter, treating him like the little brother he never had. He brought him up, trained him how to fight, passing on all the knowledge he possessed. He raised Jae as a glorious king, yet he grew up to be nothing more than a petty criminal. 

Yeonjun’s father had fallen to the trap of fake love. He had foolishly opened his doors, that misplaced affection turning into one too many deadly bullets through his chest. Love took everything from him, yet he wouldn’t have changed a single thing.

“Doesn’t it make you feel sick, Yeonjun? Love is a made-up social construct. It means nothing.”

Love was beautiful. It was power. Yeonjun had come to learn that simple lesson over the years, even though he’d resented it for so long. Taehyun had taught him so many life long lessons: a man driven by nothing but love would go to any lengths to do what was necessary. It was a battery. It gave a reason for him to breathe, a reason to wake up every morning and fight for his life. It was true strength.

“You’re wrong-”

“You love me, don’t you Yeonjun? You care for me like a brother. How sweet.”

Yeonjun’s fists clenched, his nails digging into his palm. 

“Of course....”

He did love Jae. He gave him his heart, the darkest fears that he held inside opened up for him to read in plain sight. It was his fault, his fatal flaw that led to not only his destruction but that of his friends too. He was too blinded by their friendship to see the signs, or rather, he refused to acknowledge them. 

“Isn’t it funny that I’ve never spent even a single second of my day caring about you?”

Jae’s laughter cut through Yeonjun, slicing his cracking heart into pieces. Every word was like a blow to his body, bruises forming from the contact. It hurt more than a knife through the side or a bullet to the shoulder. It was the most painful form of torture.

“I despise you, Yeonjun. I hate you with every fraction of my being.”

Yeonjun didn’t want to accept it. He was in complete denial, unable to fully process the anger that raged inside his barely beating heart. He wanted to scream. He wanted to destroy every single part of him that ached in absolute agony, get rid of anything that made him feel. 

Just for a moment, he wanted to rid himself of humanity.

“You should have died that day. Those bullets should have gone through your pretty little skull and ended it there and then. It would have been a lot less painful for everyone.”

They wanted them all dead that night, thousands of bullets piercing every window, lodged in the fragile body of his parents. His father had protected him from harm, acted as a shield against the metal that rained, saved him from serious harm. The image haunted Yeonjun in every day of his life. He was revengeful, sick to the core. 

After all these years, it never occurred to him that the murderer could be stood by his side. It made him gag, every fragile moment they shared together feeding his guilty conscience. Whilst seeking revenge, he couldn’t even check his own back or question those who he held in the deepest layers of his heart, those he had let into that tight circle.

“Jae. This isn’t you.”

Yeonjun had let Jae into his barriers, into the four walls that kept his real self cage. He allowed himself to be weak, providing him with ease of access to everything and anything that he wanted. Yeonjun wasn’t strong enough to stop it. He missed his father; he missed the days where life felt safe as if nothing could ever hurt him. Even if on the outside Yeonjun was strong, inside he was nothing but a child.

He was a terrified kid who never grew up. 

“I know you’re not like this. I know-”

“What the fuck would you know about me?

His airways tight, Yeonjun was slipping into the deep end. No matter how hard he tried to swim against the current, the water would claw at his ankles and pull him back to hell. He was drowning in feelings, submerged in betrayal. It was impossible to free himself from the waves, repeatedly striking at his heart. 

“I’m just a pawn in your eyes. I always have been. You never once saw me as anything more than an expendable piece. You even treated Casper better than me!” 

In Jae’s eyes, the world was a metaphorical chessboard. Every person had their place, their role in society forced upon them from those in the highest authority. They played with people like pawns, choosing whether they lived or died in an attempt to conquer and gain power. It disgusted him to the core. He hated corruption; he hated the world.

Life was a game. The only way to climb that power ladder was to obliterate those above you, dragging them by their ankles to the fire beneath and letting your humanity go. Succumbing to the screams of those below was never an option, the only way was up.

“Jae.”

No matter how much he tried to deny it, Yeonjun could see Jae now for what he truly was. He was a deceiving liar, one that had never shared even a bit of sentiment with him. A snake in the long grass ready to bite and inject his venom, he was a power-hungry beast. There was no point in hiding from the truth anymore. Because if he did, there was no way he would still be breathing tomorrow. 

“No!”

Throwing his head back in euphoria, Jae let out a manic laugh. He found the whole situation ecstatic, the power feeding his fury.

“Shut up, Yeonjun. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up! I don’t want to hear your voice for any longer than I have to.”

Yeonjun wasn’t scared of many things. Of course, the prospect of losing those he loved had always made his heart flutter in fear. Sometimes the dark had even made his skin crawl, yet never had his body began to shake at the presence of another. 

Jae was a different person now. His true self had broken through the mascarade mask and seeped into the open.

Yeonjun’s mind couldn’t keep up with the mental marathon, his brain on fire, his mental palace collapsed into a burning wreck.

Everything had changed. 

“What was it that sparked your Misanthropy, huh?”

Pushing the gun against Yeonjun's chest, Jae backed him into the wall, slamming him against it. 

“Was it the murder of your father perhaps? Or maybe the fact that everyone you trust eventually turns to stab you in the back.”

Trust was easily shattered like a mirror, seven years of bad luck resting on his shoulders. It felt like a bad dream, a nightmare that never seemed to cease. And no matter how hard Yeonjun tried, he couldn’t wake up. 

“You knew this would happen one day! That crown was meant to be mine all along-”

“You’re not fit to be a king.”

The words seemed to throw Jae off guard, his face falling.

“What did you say?”

His mind couldn’t process that scenario. For as long as he could remember, he had aspired to be at the top of the world. He wanted to be so high up that nobody could ever look down upon him again. 

Anything other than the throne was unacceptable.

“I said.”

Yeonjun stepped forward, knocking Jae off balance.

“You’re not fit to be a king. You’ll  _ never  _ be fit to be a king.”

He spat his words like venom, each syllable a strike to Jae’s ego. Although he held the gun, the power had shifted dramatically.

“To be a good leader, you have to understand the feelings of those at the bottom of the ladder. You have to listen, Jae. You have to know what it's like to be nothing.”

Getting to know outsiders had taught Yeonjun so many things about the world. He was sheltered, never suffering for a day without the warmth of home, never worrying whether he had enough money to put food on the table. Whilst others clung onto their last pennies, there wasn’t a day in Yeonjun’s life that he didn’t bask in the lavish luxury of richness. He was privileged, and he knew it.

The money came with responsibility, meeting people like Taehyun had taught him that lesson well. As a ruler, the duty of protecting those socially beneath him rested on his shoulders. It was something Yeonjun had neglected, finally coming to understand the weight of his authority after far too long. 

“You’ve never lived one day of your life without privilege, and you look down on those who have.”

Being a king was more than a title, it was far greater than just a glistening crown. Power came with consequences. Consequences came with regret, and regret was the hardest thing to swallow. It was heavy. 

“Even if you kill me and steal my crown, it won’t make you a king. You’re not even willing to try and understand-”

“Shut up! It will! It will. You’re wrong. You’re lying. You’re a liar. I was born to rule. I was born to lead. I was made to be king!”

Jae’s body trembled, his grip around the gun tighter than ever. His heartbeat like a pounding drum, the sound pulsating in his ears over and over. It was irritating, yet it reminded him of the reason for his madness, the drive that pushed him forward. Power was delectable. The closer it came, the more he wanted to taste it.

“Nothing you say matters. Nothing you say matters at all! You know why, Yeonjun? Because I’m going to kill you! I’m going to finish what I started all those years ago, what I've waited for so long to do. Finally.”

Nothing could stop the time from ticking past. With one movement, everything that Yeonjun had worked for could disappear into thin air. He wasn’t scared of dying per se, but rather afraid of hurting those who loved him in the process. 

“Why.”

His heart ached immensely, crying out in pain for everything to stop. He wanted it to end. He wanted things to go back to the way they were. The world was breaking beneath his feet, becoming more fragile with every step. It wouldn’t be long before it completely shattered into shards.

“Why are you doing this to me? To us? We were so close, Jae. We went through everything together. I let you in because I trusted you. I trusted you...”

Love was a complicated construct, a maze of twists and turns, with dead ends sporadically scattered throughout it. There was no telling what lay behind each corner, what could be hiding inside the shadows. It was difficult. 

It had taken Yeonjun so long to open up his heart that he feared closing it again would jail it forever. The cord of trust had been cut, the end jagged and dangerous. It threatened serious damage to his insides, yet there was nothing he could do to stop it raging on. 

As long as the knife was wedged into his back, the pain would continue. 

“Everybody wants to rule the world, Yeonjun. Once you’ve had a taste of luxury, you can’t help but want more and more and more of it. It’s addictive.”

Silence rang through the air; the sound of fighting momentarily ceased. 

“Humans are selfish creatures. When we want something, we’ll do anything to get it. You should know that best.”

Yeonjun did know that best. Misanthropy was part of him, or so he had thought. Even if evil resided in everyone, he had come to learn that humans were more than just their pitiful mistakes and flaws. They were too wicked to be angels, too resentful to be demons: a mix of deception and purity merged into one. Misanthropy was never something he harboured; it was only fear.

He was afraid of the world, frightened of having everything stolen in front of his eyes, scared of being left alone once again. He didn’t want to trust, so he pushed everyone away for far too long. It was only when he finally opened up did he realise: strength came in numbers.

“Humans are weak, Jae. They are fragile. But when you band enough of them together, they’re stronger than you could ever imagine.”

There was not a thing for Yeonjun to fear anymore. Even if he was to die, he could trust his best friend to take care of everything. His life was nothing more than one piece of the puzzle.

“If you want my title, you can fucking take it. Just know that no one wants to follow a king with a stolen crown.”

Yeonjun was not some glorious king; he was human. He only had one life, one chance to get things right. It wasn’t wrong of him to make mistakes, as long as he atoned for them later in life. And if that time was now, he was prepared to accept it with open arms.

“I’ve had enough. I’ve had enough of you! You know nothing.”

Digging his nails into the skin, Jae grabbed Yeonjun’s chin harshly. Drops of blood trickled down onto his white shirt, his eyes burning with the strength of a thousand blazing fires. 

“How about we say hello to your friends, hm? The ones you’d give up everything to save. Pathetic.”

Jae let go, beckoning Yeonjun to walk forward. He knew exactly where he was going, yet what he would find at the bottom of those stairs made shivers cascade down his spine. 

Every step he took was a childhood memory, the happiness intertwined with blood and gunfire. It was what he had been born into, the world he had built up for himself. Even if one pillar had collapsed in the foundation, his empire still stood up strong. Until everyone was dead, his kingdom would never fall.

The door to the basement had been completely destroyed, a set of stone stairs spirling the bottom. Despite the darkness, Yeonjun could still see the drops of dried blood that covered the surface, blood that he assumed belonged to the brothers at the bottom. 

Even though he wasn’t religious, Yeonjun prayed for their safety. He wished with everything he had that they were still breathing, no matter what state they were in. As long as their hearts were still beating, he could bring them back home safe. 

One way or another, this was the end of everything. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It all comes down to this :D


	18. Reunion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! 
> 
> I just wanted to mention that Misanthropy becomes pretty heavy from here so please take care when reading and make sure you are in the right state to do so. There will be frequent mentions of graphic violence.
> 
> Thank you for all of your support! 
> 
> \- Megan

With every step, Yeonjun’s heart began to thump louder. 

He could hear the soft melody of a lullaby, the distant well-known voice of Kai filling his heart with comfort. It was a ray of sunshine into the darkness of the stairwell, a tiny slither of hope in what seemed to be a hopeless situation. They were at least alive, although the state of them was yet to be discovered, and that put Yeonjun’s nerves at ease. 

As his feet finally hit the stone basement floor, the world around him submerged into eerie silence. The singing was cut short, with only the sound of his shoes against the stone floor echoing through the short hall.

Quite frankly, Yeonjun was terrified of what lay beyond that door.

He was full of dread, his mind spinning with a thousand scenarios of what would lay before him. All the graphic things he had seen in his life were nothing compared to the possibilities his mind portrayed to him. No amount of deep breaths could prepare him.

“...Yeonjun?”

The sight in front of Yeonjun’s eyes made his stomach twist into a tight knot. Guilt ate away at his insides, burying deep inside his chest. Taehyun lay on the floor, his head resting comfortably upon his brother’s lap. His shirt was covered in splatters of dried blood, his wrists red and raw. He was wheezing slightly with every breath, one hand placed upon his ribs and the other linked with Kai’s own.

He was alive, just barely. 

Kai wasn’t in much of a better state, his white shirt too completely ruined with crimson bloodstains. A trail of blood trickled from a gash upon his lips, his eyes exhausted and lacking life. 

Yet despite his obvious pain, his focus was solely on his brother, protecting him with everything he had. He was willing to give up everything he was, all because of love. 

“Aw, isn’t this sweet? A reunion between long lost friends.”

This was all Yeonjun’s fault. And for the first time in his life, he was truly seeing the consequences of his actions. It seemed like only a few days ago he had met them for the first time, the innocent boys desperate for money. Everything that had happened to them was his responsibility, and their suffering lay solely on his shoulders.

An apology would never be enough for the pain he had caused them, he wouldn’t blame them for not forgiving him. He'd changed their lives in the most graphic way, converting any angelic purity they possessed to pure sin. He’d locked them out of the gates of heaven himself. Because of him, they lived a life of hell. 

“Shame that this is last time you’ll see each other, alive at least.”

As Yeonjun glanced down upon the pair, his eyes met with Taehyun’s own. Whilst one was bandaged and hidden, the other told a cover story of rage and anger. Yet beneath the flicking flames, Yeonjun could see nothing but deep-rooted fear. It was a pleading gaze, a call for help. It was full of pain. 

“...What did you do?”

Fury collected in Yeonjun’s fists, the temptation to beat the life out of Jae taunting him. If it wasn’t for the vulnerability of Taehyun’s position, he would be sure to make the bastard bleed. 

“You wanna know what I did?”

Jae let out a chuckle.

“I kicked Tae in the ribs, Yeonjun, over and over and over, until he screamed and cried and begged for me to stop, his breathing shallow and weak. Pathetic. Took a knife to his eye, surely a monster like you can understand.”

The edges of his lips curved into a smirk, the toxic poison dripping from his tongue. 

“Taehyun deserved what was coming to him.”

Yeonjun’s ability to think through his actions flew out the window. He grabbed Jae’s collar on instinct, his fingers gripping on tightly with all his strength. Despite the metal pressed against his head, he was completely enraged and on fire. He was playing right into the hands of the monster, falling headfirst into a trap with no escape. 

Jae was a puppet master, the strings wrapped around his little finger. The boss's wrath was expected and brought him absolutely nothing but satisfaction, a thrill. He had no fear. With one movement of his finger, he could yank him back to a vulnerable state in an instant. 

“We played a game, didn’t we Kai?”

The cards scattered across the floor told Yeonjun everything he needed to know. It didn't even surprise him in the slightest.

“You cheated-”

“Look at them, Yeonjun.”

The boss’ eyes latched onto the blood-stained boys upon the floor. It made his throat dry up. Those sweet, innocent boys had been corrupted by the devil, and that blood lay upon his hands alone.

“If only you’d died when you should have, then they wouldn’t have suffered the way they have.”

Yeonjun’s heart stopped in his chest. It was as if the grim reaper had come to take him away, his mistakes rolling in front of his eyes like a strip of film. His very existence was stained with the blood and suffering of others, their pain and grief building the steps to his podium.

The crown upon his head would never be clean, not ever. He had lived through hell on earth, cheating death over and over. If it wasn’t for his tough exterior, the inner workings of his system would have long since collapsed.

And just like that, his grip began to loosen. His fingers released the devil’s collar, his arms falling down to his sides. His anger simmered into pure fear, the vulnerability of those in front of him plain to see. Right now, on the battlefield, he stood alone. There was nobody who could lift the pressure from his shoulders, no one who could take away the immense guilt that destroyed everything he had worked for. 

“I’m not a cruel human, Yeonjun. It’s all because of you that I’ll have to get rid of them. You might as well be wielding the knife yourself.”

Yeonjun was to blame. For so long, he had acted as the pied piper, enticing innocent souls to follow his corrupt lifestyle. He had held those same strings between his fingers, a puppeteer. He had no right to criticise. 

Only a couple years ago, he had convinced Taehyun to take his first life. He was a manipulator, a pair of shadowy hands wrapping around the child’s throat and suffocating him with expectation. It was like a robotic command, their hands intertwined together around the trigger. If it wasn’t for Yeonjun’s final push, the bloodshed would never have happened. That was something he could never give back. 

“I’m sorry.”

It came out as nothing but a weak whisper, Yeonjun’s head going into complete overdrive. Everything was on fire, the foundations crumbling. No matter how hard he tried to escape, he couldn’t outrun the inferno in his head, the alarm bells ringing over and over. 

His body was shaking, his pupils dilated and heart racing. Every breath he took told him to run, to fight, to bring forth some kind of action. Yet his body was grounded still. 

Frozen.

“Do you know how long I have waited for this moment, Yeonjun? Finally. After all these years, I’ll get to put a bullet in your head.”

That night blurred his vision. His sight was flooded with the blood of his father. It had distorted into a fragmented memory that he had tried for so long to forget. He could feel the blood upon his skin, the world tossing him about like a chew toy. 

He resented being king. He resented the overwhelming sense of weakness he possessed, the inferiority to his father that haunted him. And most importantly, he resented himself. Nobody on earth hated Yeonjun more than himself. 

“You know, Yeonjun.”

Jae leaned forward, whispering directly into Yeonjun’s ear.

“Killing your father was the best day of my life.”

That was when everything broke; Yeonjun broke. He could hardly breathe, his body weak, shattered. All the strength and anger that he had been saving over the years morphed into pure panic. The murderer of his father was stood behind his back. Yet even after all this time, he couldn’t act.

Revenge had been at the forefront of his life. His father was his rock, his safe space to protect him from the evils of the world. And after he was gone, Jae had become his shield too. 

“Ever since I was a little kid, all I ever wanted was power. I wanted to be the king of the world, Yeonjun. I wanted to be the most powerful human to ever roam this earth.” 

It was an obsession, a dream that he had held onto for so long. Those at the top could dominate with their strength, never again to be mocked or humiliated. They would be feared by those below them, the blood of the devil flowing through their veins and powering their heart forward. Never again would he feel inferior. As long as he resided at the very top, nothing could touch him. 

“I used your father to get to where I wanted and then disposed of him.”

Yeonjun couldn't breathe. He couldn't mutter a single full breath. Jae's words had stolen them from his lips, making sure that he would go into complete overdrive. His body was shutting down. 

“And I’ll do exactly the same to you. But before that….” 

It couldn't possibly get worse. He was being thrown left and right, yet his feet were grounded. The world was spinning, and he didn't know how to make it stop.

“I’ll kill all of the witnesses right in front of your eyes.”

It was happening all over again. History was repeating itself.

“Blood all across the floor, their screams in your ears. I’ll kill them, Yeonjun. But the blood will be on your hands. Just like your fathers is.”

The boss looked down upon his hands, slight splatters of blood upon them. It reminded him of the day, that night when everything he knew went up in flames for the last time.

For so long, he had blamed himself for it. After all, his father had given his life to save someone who wasn't even worth saving in his eyes. If it had been the other way around, the situation he found himself in now probably would never have occurred.

It was all his fault.

“Bang.”

Raising up his hand, Jae shot a finger gun at Kai, laughing hysterically. He found the way they jumped thrilling, the power infecting his mind and system like venom. 

“Aww, frightened are you? Scared of losing everything again? You really are so pathetic, Yeonjun.”

Yeonjun had to do something, but he couldn't even move. Jae had complete control over his body, the strings restricting his movements. It was as if invisible chains were tied to his wrists, weighing him down and stopping him from reaching forward. 

“Can’t even avenge your father. Can you do anything right?”

Satisfied at the shaken state of Yeonjun, Jae removed the gun from his head. The boss was shattered and in no way able to oppose his current actions. It was game over.

“Who shall we start with first? How about...the youngest?”

The fear in Kai’s eyes brought Jae so much pleasure, the gun pointed directly at his chest. He’d already snipped his feathered wings, grounded his flight. With one tiny movement of his finger, he could send the corrupt angel straight to the depths of hell. He was playing god. 

“Say goodbye, Yeonjun.”

Jae’s finger rested comfortably against the trigger, not even a shred of regret inside his eyes. He was ready to end it all there and then, snatch away the very last inches of sanity from Yeonjun’s grip and bury him six feet under. Nothing could stop him from firing that bullet. 

Or so he thought.

“I can’t let you do this.”

Sungho stepped in front of the injured brothers, his body a human shield against any incoming bullets. His feet were grounded, unmovable. Despite the slight trembling of his legs, he had no intention of backing down. 

“They don’t deserve to die, Jae. They’re good kids.”

The relationship between Kai and Taehyun warmed Sungho’s cold heart, feelings of brotherly love bubbling to the surface once again. There was no denying the reflection of his past self in Taehyun’s eyes. It took him back to a time when he was willing to put everything on the line for his family, no matter the cost. 

His goal had become corrupted, lost in a sky of a thousand glistening stars. The path was blurred, right and wrong becoming a mixed up and meaningless mess. When he had nothing left, chaos was all he had to turn too. And that was a regret he lived with every day of his life. 

“Move! You don’t get to decide-”

“If you want to kill them, you’ll have to go through me first. I won’t let you hurt them anymore.”

The world stopped, only the sound of hysterical laughter cutting through the frozen scene. Jae clearly had not a care in the world, no hesitation upon the trigger. His allies never meant anything to him at all.

“Do you think you’re some kind of hero, Sungho?"

Sungho's heart raced.

"You think they’ll remember your name after such a valiant death? You’ll be forgotten, just like every self-proclaimed warrior that came before you."

He didn't see himself as a hero. It was the right thing to do, the selfless thing to do. For too long he had sat by and let the injustices fly right past him, he'd had enough. It was time to act, time to face the deceitful demons that plagued his thoughts with lie after lie. It was time to stare down the devil straight in the eyes.

“I’ve done so much wrong, too much. I've made so many mistakes, too many to ever call myself a hero."

Sungho clenched his fist, determination to stand his ground streaming through his veins. 

"I'm not looking for glory, Jae. I'm simply searching for atonement."

Betrayal cut deep. It was a never healing wound, bleeding constantly, never allowing him to stop for one second and just breathe. He couldn't bear to live like that anymore. If sacrificing himself could fill that void, it would all be worth it in the end.

“Kai. Just...tell Soobin I love him, okay?”

It was the last request, a final goodbye. He lacked the guts to ever confront his brother and it was likely that he would never again get the chance. No matter what had happened between them, Sungho still loved his brother dearly.

He didn't want to let go.

“Why don’t you tell me yourself? Idiot.”

Soobin stood in the doorway, a hand wrapped tight to his injured side. His eyes looked tired, yet a painful and concerned gaze lay inside them. 

It had been years since the brothers had last set eyes upon each other. Their relationship had crumbled completely after the death of their mother, the responsibility largely residing on Soobin’s shoulders. He had failed to be there for her, too tied up with academics to acknowledge her crumbling state, too scared to accept it.

Until it was too late.

The last happy memory he had with his mother was his graduation, the picture now residing in a shattered frame. Sungho resented him for his selfishness, his denial of the truth even though it stared straight at him. Soobin hadn’t meant to destroy everything. But in a time where he needed his big brother most, he had vanished. 

It was his own fault, yet he and Sungho had not spoken since. Soobin wasn’t even sure if he was still breathing until he saw him again in the flesh. 

He looked more aged than before, tired. It looked like he’d seen things, things that Soobin couldn’t even begin to imagine. It broke his heart, guilt inserting tiny knives into his chest. Of all places, Soobin hated that they had to meet again here. There was no time for apologies, no time to sort arguments that had gone on for far too long. This was life or death.

But if they were to make it out of here alive, Soobin would make sure to be a better brother. 

“...Soobin-”

The sound of a gunshot cut through his words. The bullet impaled through Sungho’s stomach in one swift motion, fresh blood spurting upon the brothers behind him.

“Sung...ho?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :)


	19. Sunset

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is honestly one of the hardest things I have ever written. It was incredibly emotionally and physically overwhelming for me to write, so please take your time when reading. 
> 
> (Please check over the tags on the fic again before reading too.)
> 
> \- Megan

Time froze.

Sungho slowly grasped at his side, his hand coming away soaked in thick red liquid. It wasn’t that painful at first, but he could feel his legs becoming weaker by the second. It had taken him a moment to realise what had happened, the last ounces of his strength slowly draining from his body. 

Nobody dared to move, not even Jae could process the potential murder he had just committed. His hand shook, his fingers loose around the handle of the gun. He hadn’t anticipated shooting a friend, or rather, how much it would ache to do so. It was a sensation he didn’t want to feel.

Falling into Soobin’s arms, Sungho succumbed to the clawing hands from below. His body felt broken, shattered. As life gradually slipped through his fingers, the only thing he could do was cling onto his brother and apologise for everything he had done.

“Sungho!”

The pair sank to the floor, Soobin’s arms wrapped tightly around his sibling's frail body. He frantically applied pressure to the fatal wound, his attempts futile against the blood that continued to pour. His soft, gentle hands became a crimson red mess, stained. 

There was so much blood, too much red liquid flooding onto the floor. The pair had far too many unspoken promises yet to be fulfilled. Their world was crumbling apart bit by bit, second by second. 

It was like a hurricane, tearing everything to pieces and breaking his heart into sharp shards. The undeniable fact lingered in the forefront of his mind like a curse.

Sungho was dying.

“No no no no no no.”

The barrier disintegrated, floods of water streaming down Soobin’s cheeks. It was an overwhelming storm of emotions, twisting and spiralling into an out of control tornado. He didn’t want to know what it was like to live in a world without his big brother. It was terrifying, something he had never expected to happen in a million years. 

He had been too buried in his shattered dreams to be a good brother. Time had slipped from his grasp so quickly, faster than he was able to process. Before now, there had been no doubt in his mind that they would be reunited, finally watching the sunset into the distant sea.

Yet in the present, it felt impossible. 

The opportunity had been ripped from his fingertips, stolen by a friend with a sharp knife in his grasp. It reminded Soobin blatantly of something Yeonjun had said to him previously, warning him that those who you show your back, wield the sharpest of knives.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I’m sorry.”

Sungho held his brother’s trembling hands with as much strength as he could muster, ceasing their agitated actions. Despite the blood that seeped from his body, in some sense, Sungho felt at peace. 

His body was burning hot, a harsh kind of throbbing sensation beginning in his stomach and spreading throughout his body. He could feel himself flickering in and out of consciousness, adrenaline the only thing separating him from absolute agony. It wouldn’t be long before it hit. 

“This is my fault. This is all my fault. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

The promises they had made as children were slipping through Soobin’s fingers like sand. Losing Sungho would form a gaping hole inside his chest, he was irreplaceable. He didn’t want the sun to rise again without him, without their hearts beating in sync with one another. 

“If anyone should be saying sorry, it’s me. I hurt so many people...Kai, Taehyun...people you love, Binnie. I’m so sorry. I’m sorry.”

Soobin shook his head, a sob erupting from his lips. He didn’t want to think about anything right now. He wanted to save his brother from hell, protect him from the fire that raged beneath. Nothing else mattered.

“Just don’t leave me here all alone. Please. I need you. I love you.”

Even if he wasn’t religious, Soobin prayed. He desperately wished for his brother’s wound to heal, for some magical force to take away his pain and suffering in an instant. But life was no fairytale, no happy ending sat upon the cards for the two of them. There was no way to cheat, no way to forge the perfect reality. Life was nothing more than a trainwreck, and the two were following a path of destruction. 

If Soobin could go back in time, he’d take the bullet for himself. He’d give up anything to save his brother from the river of blood, the ocean dyeing the stone floor crimson. There were so many more words left to be said, plenty more chapters of the story yet to be written. 

But fate was out of his hands. 

“You haven’t needed me for a long time, Bin.”

Sungho let out a weak chuckle, a stream of blood dripping from his mouth. Soobin had found his way in the world alone, his heart beating stronger than ever. Even after falling into an inescapable trap, he’d still managed to thrive and exist in happiness. No injury could prevent him from continuing to smile, no amount of pain could stop his feelings from blossoming into something beautiful.

Yet despite everything, Soobin still needed Sungho. He needed his brother to be there, to be the one friend that would never press the knife against his exposed back. There was no other soul in this world he could trust. Nobody would ever understand him better than his own flesh and blood.

“You can make it out of here. You can live. You can. We just have to stop the bleeding. It shouldn’t be too difficult. If you’ll let me, please, just let me…”

Despite his weak state, Sungho wouldn’t let go of his brother's hands. They were too kind to be sullied by red stains, too innocent to feel the life drain out hopelessly. He didn’t deserve to be saved, or rather, it was a lost cause already. It was too late.

“You can’t go. Not after we’ve just reunited. Not after all the mistakes I made. I still have to make up for them, Sun. I have to make up for everything. You can’t go. You won’t go, right? You won’t leave me…”

Soobin couldn’t stop the avalanche of words spewing from his lips, everything he wanted to say muddled up inside his head. There was so much he had to apologise for, too many unforgivable mistakes upon his conscience. He didn’t want to accept the facts. Yet again, he was hiding from the obvious truth.

“I should have been a better brother. I should have looked for you. I should have been there and-”

“You’ll always be my little kid brother Bin, no matter what happens.”

Even after being apart for so long, the bond between them hadn’t changed one bit. The mistakes they had made meant nothing now. All they could do was cling onto the innocent past, the days of laughter and happiness when family meant everything to them.

There was no escape from the inevitable. The darkness was consuming Sungho, ready to rip his soul out and take it. He was destined for a bright future, yet somehow he had ended up here. And now, there was nothing ahead but a dead end. 

“I’m sorry.”

Sungho smiled, enjoying the warmth of Soobin’s hands against his own. It reminded him of home, of belonging.

“No more...apologies-”

Blood splattered from his lips, streaming down his chin. There was nothing Sungho wished for more than to hold his brother’s hand till the end, feel his warmth against his skin for one last time. His state was deteriorating rapidly, too quickly for his brother to even comprehend. There was no looking back. 

“Sun…”

Sungho clearly remembered those days of true happiness. Back when they were innocent, oblivious to the evil, suffocating world outside their barricaded door.

Every time the sunset, the two brothers would watch in awe from their bedroom window. It was pure natural beauty, their worries fading as the light of day thinned. No matter how dark things became, they'd still hold each other's hand. 

It was a safe space. It was something that Sungho clung to with every inch of his being, desperate to never let the bond weaken between them. Yet on their mother's death bed, everything seemed to fall apart. 

“Sun.”

With a little laugh, Sungho’s breathing became shallower. He had always been a fireball in the sky, the brightest spark. There was no doubt that he was the favourite child and the pride of the family, a prodigy who would go on to achieve greatness. The world revolved around his presence. 

Or at least, it had.

When his mother had fallen ill, he had given up everything to care for her. There was nothing he wouldn’t do to make the last moments of her life somewhat bearable - even at the expense of his own happiness. As the oldest, he had no choice but to step up to the role of guardian. It was out of his hands. 

Failure snapped his fragile bones in two, pieces shattering inside. It consumed every inch of his body, corrupted his happiness with nothing but fractures of ice buried deep inside. The sky had cracked. There was no more fake positivity, no more beloved sun. There was nothing left, no light to illuminate the suffocating darkness. It was so cold.

“You always did shine the brightest, Sungho."

If Sungho was the sun, then Soobin was the moon. No matter how hard he tried to break through, the blinding light of day would forever vanquish him. He resided in the darkness, in faint rays of starlight gleaming down on him from above. He was destined to forever live inside the shadow of his elder brother, hiding behind the sun in his time of need. 

Yet the moon provided great stability. And without the constant support of his brother from behind, Sungho’s world had slowly spiralled off the rails. His fire went out; his light faded. All that remained was darkness, coldness, the drab days of fear encompassing his spirit. There was no escape, no way out. 

“Yet I was nothing without you.”

Sungho brushed his hand softly over his brother's cheek, wiping away the streams of tears upon them. No longer did he want to see his brother sad. No more did he wish misfortune upon the man who had shown his brother compassion when his own heart had been void of emotion. Soobin deserved to be happy.

“Hey Bin...do you think...I’ll get to see the sunset again?”

Sungho wanted to see it again, the beautiful, shimmering rays of light fading into darkness, the fluffy pink clouds up in the sky. He wanted to gaze upon the Twilight, watch as the sunlight scattered the last dregs of light into the night sky. There was nothing that made him happier. In the hour between good and evil, he wanted to reside forever. 

“Will I get to see it?”

It was all he had ever wanted, something simple, yet so very out of reach. He was scared of dying, frightened of living in the pitch black for the rest of time. He wished to see that brilliant blue sky, colours of orange and pink fading like a gradient, merging into stunning scenery. Listening to the waves lapping gently against the rocks over and over, he wanted to watch the sun disappear beneath the foaming sea.

If the sunset was the only thing he could see for the rest of eternity, he would ask for nothing more. It reminded him of already lost innocence. The memories froze the crumbling world, captured its state like a polaroid picture in pristine form. Even if everything else was falling apart, the sun would continue to rise and fall. 

“I’m positive. I’m sure you’ll see the most beautiful sunset ever.”

Nothing could stop Soobin’s tears from falling. He could hardly breathe, rivers of water streaming down his cheeks. Everything was wrong. His heart was in despair, pain tearing through it and leaving an unfillable crater behind. He could feel every individual string snapping, every shaky breath digging another knife deeper and deeper. 

It was a reality. 

“A sunset of purple and orange and pink and blue. Every colour you want.”

Even if he shut his eyes tightly, there was no escaping the destiny that awaited him. It was set in stone, unbreakable. No matter how hard he tried, there was no way to reverse time or recover what was lost so tragically.

Without Sungho, Soobin’s world would forever feel like an eternal night. Happiness seemed so far out of reach, spilling out across the floor in crimson red. There was nothing more he could do to stop the tidal wave crashing down upon him. It was an inescapable fate. No matter what happened, the sun would still rise again in the morning. 

Yet it would never be the same.

“I’d...like that.”

The weakness in Sungho’s voice was evident. It became hoarse, his breathing difficult and shallow. He struggled to cling on, clawing for the scraps of life at the very bottom of the barrel. 

Sungho’s hand slipped from Soobin’s cheek slowly, all the strength he had left flowing out onto the stone below. His tired heart fought to keep beating. He wanted to rest now. He wanted to visit his mother in the fluffy candy floss clouds, feel her comforting embrace against his skin. Finally, he could be reunited with her.

“I’ll come and visit you eventually. I promise...we’ll meet again, Sungho.”

Soobin choked on his words, his heart bleeding out in agony.

“And...when we do…”

Sungho’s final breath left his lips, his pulse steadily turning cold. Frozen. His body lay still, cradled in the arms of the one he loved most. 

“Let’s watch the sunset together again.”


	20. Misanthropy

The blood in Yeonjun’s veins ran cold. 

Soobin sat broken on the ground, his arms wrapped around his brother like a protective blanket. He wouldn’t let anyone near, let anyone touch the fragile body that lay in his arms. 

He was shattered, broken like a fallen vase. Even if Yeonjun tried to stick him back together, a vital shard was missing from his pieces. He would never be the same again.

“Shame.”

Yeonjun could almost feel the heat radiating from his friend, the anger robbing the limited oxygen from the air. There was no telling how he would react, how his emotions could spiral. Yet he didn’t dare to move. His brother was far too important to just let go.

“Oh well. Where was I?”

Any fear that lingered previously had been obliterated. The smirk on Jae’s face was evident, the unexpected blockade no longer affecting his nerves. There was no sympathy in his heart left, only greed. 

The boss hated that he could understand him. He despised the very idea that the pair of them could share the same headspace, or rather, the same motives. It was nothing but selfish desire, no matter the consequences. 

It had taken Yeonjun a long time to break out of his tunnel vision and finally acknowledge the pain his selfishness had caused. For far too long, he had tried to hide from the blood that clearly lay on his hands alone. The boys upon the floor were living proof of his impact. They had followed him into the inferno, walked the path of blazing fire. Yeonjun had played that nasty puppet master himself. 

He was no better. 

“Jae-”

“I think we’ve done enough chatting now, Yeonjun.”

The cold, emotionless barrel was pressed against his head, the weight heavy on his conscience. Yeonjun was a dead man walking, his fate already decided. It was out of his hands. The knife of betrayal had been plunged through his chest, obliterating his organs in one single strike. It twisted inside him, his blood flowing like a river from his body.

Jae was his friend. He refused to believe that all the memories they had shared were fabricated, all the time that they had spent side by side simply meaningless. Without Jae stepping in, he never would have recovered from the murder of his father in the first place. He was there when nobody else was, supporting him as a comrade and rebuilding his self-esteem up. He acted like the big brother Yeonjun had never had.

His current actions seemed contradictory.

“You know, things could have been different.”

Yeonjun wondered when it was he snapped. His father had never done anything to wrong Jae, in fact, he had been more than merciful. No matter what anyone else said, the trust and love that his father had portrayed was more than just friendliness. He loved him like a son. 

It was a betrayal that his father allowed to happen. Out of love, he let his life go. And now, it was Yeonjun’s turn to follow. It was the end of an era, the end of everything that they had stood for. It was time for a new empire.

“If you’d died on that day, maybe Sungho would still be breathing right now. That’s your fault, not mine.”

His father had warned him all those years ago, yet he was too arrogant to see it. Nobody had ever been on his side, he was too selfish to ever wish for that. They had used him for their goal, exploited his vulnerable state for their own self-gain. 

Yeonjun was a weapon, nothing more.

It made him feel sick to the core, dizzy and worthless. He couldn’t help but wonder how Casper had felt all those years, how Kai had coped with being forced into a violent existence. Each one lay upon his back, chipping away bit by bit until there was nothing left.

The fire inside him had been distinguished. If he was the cause of everything, it seemed better to let somebody else take control. He couldn’t help but think that maybe Jae was right - he was better off dead.

“How about you just give in, huh?”

No longer could Yeonjun hear his friends. He had phased out their cries, ignored the blatantly familiar voices that begged for him to fight. It all seemed so pointless now, so out of reach. 

He wondered what Beomgyu would say if he was present, how Casper would motivate him through the blockade and into the new day. He questioned whether his father would be angry for seeing him so soon. Only time would tell.

“Go on. Let me put you out of your misery.”

Yeonjun closed his eyes, relaxing the tension through his body. The flaws and faults that made up his being were nothing but a mistake. If there was any way to atone for what he had done, it was to give up his last breath to save them. He accepted fate and welcomed it with open arms. 

“Goodbye, Choi Yeonjun.”

With his finger upon the trigger, Jae’s hand shook with slight hesitation. He wanted Yeonjun dead more than anything, or so he thought. But now the opportunity came, there was a chain inside restricting his movements. All he had to do was apply pressure to the trigger. It was over…

Until it wasn’t.

Beomgyu tackled Jae from the side. The bullet shot to the ceiling, the gun slipping from Jae’s grip. It clattered to the floor with a bang, Beomgyu’s foot kicking it as far away from the devil as possible. He gripped onto Jae’s shirt as tight as he could. There was nothing Beomgyu wanted more than to beat the life out of him, yet there was a time and place for everything. Even if he was pissed, right now, his main priority was Yeonjun’s safety.

Jae slammed his forehead into Beomgyu’s own, the impact disorientating him for a small moment. It allowed just enough time for the demon to raise up his fist, striking Beomgyu straight across the jaw. Jae’s blood was scolding hot, rage fueling immense strength into his movements.

Spitting out blood, Beomgyu stumbled back into the wall with a thud. He couldn’t see clearly, his vision all hazy and confusing. He could just about make out a frightened Yeonjun, his body frozen in place. 

Kai scrambled across the floor, grabbing the gun amongst the confusion. It fit perfectly in his innocent hands, the sensation sending shivers down his spine. It felt like it was meant to be, destined to corrupt the last fragments of his purity and drown him under the ocean of sin. 

There was little hesitation in his movements. He raised his quivering arms up to meet the smirking devil, watching Beomgyu’s head slam into the wall in defeat. His finger lingered upon the trigger. In one movement, he could end everything. All of Taehyun’s worries could be released from their cage, the demon no longer wielding any power over his body. Finally, he could cut the puppet strings. 

Without taking a second longer, Kai squeezed his eyes shut tightly. He didn’t want any more bloodshed, nor for anyone else to get hurt. He wanted the fighting to stop, forever. 

His finger pressed upon the trigger and shot.

Kai could hear nothing but the sound of bullets leaving the barrel, blood splattering across the walls. He shot again and again and again, wanting everything to finally just be over.

And it was.

Nobody dared to say a word as Kai opened his eyes. The kid felt the acid in his stomach bubbling, his body retching at the sight in front of him. With a bloodcurdling scream, the gun fell from his grip with a thud. 

Jae was no god, no incredible feat. Even if he portrayed a horned demon, he was nothing more than a mere mortal. There was no escaping humanity. 

He was riddled with bullet holes, his bloody body slumped upon the ground in a heap. His chest no longer rising and falling, he was stationary. 

Dead.

“K-Kai...”

Taehyun’s concerned voice shattered the silence, the world unfreezing at his utterance. 

Beomgyu dragged himself up from the floor, grabbing Yeonjun by the shoulders. The boss was in a daze, his body trembling and eyes fixated on the dead body in front of him. He was a complete mess, his heart beating to an irregular rhythm. Even if justice had been served, it didn’t make losing a friend any easier. 

“Jun. Hey! Yeonjun!”

With a couple slaps to the cheek, Yeonjun began to focus back in on the room. His eyes caught sight of a slightly injured Casper in the doorway, his clothes soaked in blood that definitely wasn’t his own. It brought him some comfort, the realisation that everything was finally over taking quite a while to strike him. 

He couldn’t take his eyes off the sight of a broken Soobin, a puddle of blood surrounding him like a never-ending lake. It felt like a poison arrow through the heart, the toxin spreading through his veins. Every single inch of him ached. 

And finally, his eyes fell on the blood brothers. Taehyun was trying to reach out to his best friend, the bloodstains upon his hands no bother. Kai was hyperventilating, his body shaking at the speed of light. He was gasping for dregs of air, tears silently streaming down his cheeks. 

“Stay...away. Stay away from me, Tyun.”

Kai backed away from him as far as possible, his back hitting the wall. He didn’t want to hurt anyone else. He was terrified of himself, scared of what his murderous hands might do when given the opportunity. If there was one person he refused to injure, it was his best friend Taehyun.

“Kai...”

Taehyun felt like a failure. After all these years of trying to protect him, he’d ended up falling down the same endless void. Once you entered the blood-filled world, there was no escape. His innocence had vanished. 

There was nothing Taehyun could do. He didn’t know how to comfort him, how to make everything go away. He wasn’t the best with death, let alone when he couldn’t even process what had happened himself. His head was spinning, his eye still screaming at him in pain. Right now, he was running on nothing but pure adrenaline, and that scared him.

“Hey.”

Casper bent down in front of Kai, a gentle and reassuring smile resting upon his lips. He knew all too well the strain of killing, the butterfly effect a single bullet could muster. No matter how many times you tried to escape, the weight would forever cling to your ankles and drag you under the water.

At a young age, he had learnt to block out the emotions. It was unhealthy, but there was no other way at the time to get through it all. Being a murderer at a young age was difficult, he didn’t ever want the shivering boy to go down the same path.

“I’m not scared of you, okay?”

Kai’s hands trembled, his eyes locking onto Casper’s own in trepidation. 

“You can’t and won’t hurt me. I promise you.”

There was nothing he could do that would hurt Casper, Kai knew that. That man was stronger than he could ever wish to be, his mental barricade impenetrable. He didn’t even want to consider what he might have been through to develop such a tough shell. 

It was scary.

Laying his weapons upon the floor, Casper held out a gentle hand towards him. In many ways, Kai reminded Casper of his younger self. He was scared, terrified of what it truly meant to take someone's last breath. Even if it was the right thing to do, it didn’t make the process any easier. 

“Let me help you.”

With a deep breath, Kai allowed the elder to take his hands with care. He watched as Casper wiped away the droplets of blood, even cleaning the parts of his hands that were unscathed. His touch was soft, every movement extra careful and calculated. It was as if he was scared of hurting him, treating him like an incredibly fragile porcelain doll. 

Watching the red disappear was therapeutic, it brought back a slight sense of normality to his life. There was something about Casper that made him feel safe. Whether it was his overwhelming strength or his selflessness, Kai couldn’t tell. 

“There. Isn’t that better?”

Kai stared at his still shaking hands, the sensation of pulling the trigger still fresh in his mind. It was a lot heavier than he had ever expected. Finally, he could understand the nightmares that plagued his brother's mind, the temptation to rely on violence as a means to an end. Yet at the same time, he couldn’t help but feel guilty at the slight sense of relief he felt.

“I’m a monster, Casper…”

The elder shook his head, a small chuckle escaping his lips. Kai was nowhere near a monster. His actions were in pure self-defence, a reaction to the horrendous situation he found himself in. There was nothing else he could have done. 

Out of everyone present, he was the furthest away from the centre of hell. Whilst Casper walked through crimson flames without a care, Kai was shaken by even the slightest sight of violence. If anyone was a monster, it was the blood-covered man in front of his eyes, not him.

“You saved Yeonjun’s life, Kai, and Tae's, Gyu’s, Soobin’s. Hell, even mine.”

Casper had never believed in right and wrong. It was all a mixed-up moral compass, a theory made by those who had a choice in life. He’d been stripped of that liberty, thrown into a world where decisions were made for him. It was a choice between life or death, light or darkness. 

Living was a liberty that he didn’t take lightly.

“Thank you.”

With a sigh, Casper ruffled Kai’s hair and rose to his feet. It wasn’t often that Casper vocalised his appreciation in such a heartfelt manner, let alone to someone who he wasn’t even that close to. The words touched Kai’s heart. It didn’t make the situation better, but the sharp blade of guilt stabbing his chest gradually began to subside. 

“I’d never be scared of you.”

Taehyun had somehow managed to crawl towards Kai, the pain across his face plainly evident. He was desperate to help him, eager to give up everything to make things better. It wasn’t too long ago that he’d been faced with the same situation, although his actions had been for very different reasons.

“Tyun-”

“Blood brothers. No matter what, we stick together.”

Water welled in Kai’s eyes, a small stream breaking through the brittle barriers and flooding down his cheeks. He had never been so grateful to have met Taehyun. He was his biggest supporter, the most wonderful companion, and the best friend anyone could ever ask for. If it wasn’t for him, he would never have been able to survive this long. 

“I don’t care, Kai. I don’t care how much blood is on your hands. As long as you’re alive, I’ll stay by your side.”

Taehyun opened his arms, a couple of tiny tears welling up in his eyes. The whole situation had made him recognise how lucky he was to still have someone who he could hold close, even if they were both battered and bruised from it all.

“Just like I promised. No matter what.”

Kai found himself buried in Taehyun’s arms, his head nuzzled deeply into his neck. He made the room feel so warm and safe, reassuring him that things would work out soon. As long as they had each other, everything would be okay. 

It was all over now.

Yeonjun carried a sense of relief, releasing the breath he’d been holding at long last. It seemed like the puzzle was falling into place. All that remained was one final piece.

“Binnie?”

Approaching Soobin with caution, Yeonjun hesitated to reach out. He didn’t want to hurt the shattered boy any more than he had already, yet he couldn’t bear to see him in such agony. There was nothing he wanted to do more than take his pain away.

“Can I touch you?”

Slowly nodding, Soobin pulled Sungho closer to his chest. He desperately clung onto any warmth that remained. It wasn’t that he was oblivious, he knew the truth, but there was a little part of him that wasn’t quite ready to let go of his brother just yet.

Yeonjun crouched down, wrapping his arms around Soobin’s back. He could feel the younger shaking gently, tears still rolling down his cheeks. 

“I’m sorry.”

There was nothing that Yeonjun could do to make it better, no way to remove the incredible pain that engulfed his friend’s heart. He knew how it felt to watch a loved one die, causing a wound that would never properly heal. But if there was one thing he knew for sure, Soobin wouldn’t have to face any of this alone.

If he had to give up his kingdom to take away Soobin’s pain, Yeonjun would do it in a heartbeat. There was no way to bring Sungho back, no way to replace the missing piece inside his chest. All Yeonjun could do was try to lessen the pain, hold it all tightly together. As long as he was around, he would never let Soobin crumble. 

Whether they accepted it or not, Jae was dead. Yeonjun had cheated death yet again, walked through hellfire and returned unscathed. It was an incredible feat, yet one that came with irreplaceable sacrifices. 

He couldn’t help but wonder if things could have been different. He’d frozen at a crucial moment, allowed Jae to wiggle inside his head. If it wasn’t for Beomgyu, a bullet would be through his skull, and everything would be over. He couldn’t even explain how grateful he was.

“It’s not your fault.”

The words passed through Soobin’s lips as nothing more than a whisper, his eyes locked onto the motionless face of his brother. Tears dripped onto his cheeks over and over, rolling down slowly and onto the floor below. 

“He made his choice...and…”

A small smile formed upon Soobin’s lips, his hand cupping his brother's cheek with the utmost of care.

“I think he was happy.”

Sungho would live inside the sun forever, lighting up even the gloomiest of days. Every morning, he would visit and bless the earth with his presence. He would finally be with his mother, and that brought Soobin an incredible amount of comfort. 

“Was he happy, Jun?”

Soobin’s eyes found themselves locked on Yeonjun’s own, desperately searching for an answer. The pain in them was evident, their glossy gaze tearing Yeonjun’s heart to pieces. It hurt to see him so broken. 

“I’m sure he was, Bin. I’m positive he was.”

There was something about Yeonjun that completed Soobin. Even in his broken state, the solace that the boss brought him was unmatched. He spoke to the parts of him that he wanted to hide, the shattered shards that fell from his eyes like ice. It was so painful, but Yeonjun made it bearable. 

“Then...I’m happy too.”

Soobin allowed himself to relax into Yeonjun, feeling his warmth against his skin. He was his remedy, his cure. As long as they still had each other, they could face anything that the world had to throw at them. 

It would be a beautiful eternity.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!
> 
> Thank you so much for reading Misanthropy. I really hope the ending lived up to everything you expected. I'll be posting the epilogue sometime in the next couple days to bring the story to a close.
> 
> The support that I have received on this fic has been absolutely crazy and I really want to take the time to thank you all, so expect a long note on the end of the final chapter.
> 
> Thank you for sticking with me on this super long journey, really. I appreciate every single one of you.
> 
> \- Megan


	21. Epilogue

Happiness.

Yeonjun had decided long ago that joy was purely subjective. It meant nothing to him, a pointless and trivial societal concept that plagued his existence. He lived for business and business alone. There was no time to spend on himself, no gap in the chaos to pause for a moment and just breathe.

It had taken him far too long to realise the importance of it all, the lightness that truly smiling brought to his body. He had come to understand love as something more, something far deeper than he had anticipated.

It made his chest tight, full to the brim with a mixture of euphoria and fear, tied up in a red ribbon. His stomach felt like a butterfly paradise. It was frightening yet thrilling at the same time. Everything that he feared seemed so much less when he didn’t have to face it all alone.

After the incident, it had taken him a long time to recover from Jae’s death. He feared putting on a brave face, addressing his colleagues as if nothing had ever gone wrong. He’d have to put his heart inside a locked box once again, never to be opened.

Or so he feared.

Casper had taken it upon himself to provide Yeonjun with some breathing room, sorted specifics so that he could rest and recuperate at home. It gave him a chance to be a human, to grieve and let go of everything that lay upon his shoulders. 

It allowed him to be a friend.

Beomgyu had done up his childhood home, cleared the basement from all the trauma that lay beneath it. The house that held a special place in Yeonjun’s heart was finally restored, and it was something that he couldn’t wait to share with the people he loved most. He refused to let fear control him any longer.

“Jun? You’re going to spill that drink if you’re not careful.”

It was late evening, the sun just beginning to sink beneath the ocean of pretty pink clouds. There were no storms forecasted or even a splash of rain, only the sounds of the rippling lake filling the air. It brought Yeonjun immense comfort and tranquillity. 

“Oh. Sorry.”

Soobin linked his fingers with Yeonjun’s own, cuddling into his arm with the utmost of care. They had been stuck by each other's side since the incident. It was a way to keep grounded, to fight on for those who they had lost in the fire. It wasn’t easy going, but it was achievable. 

Losing Sungho had taken an incredible toll upon Soobin, it was hard going. He had spent a significant amount of time in the garden, gazing upon the sun as it sunk beneath the clouds. It was a remedy to his aching heart. It helped to heal what was broken, although it would never be exactly the same again.

The sun, paired with Yeonjun’s warmth, was like a plaster upon his broken heart. It wasn’t perfect, nor magic, but it was just enough. Just enough to stop the bleeding, to hold the pieces tightly together so he wouldn’t completely crumble. 

Whilst the scars were forever etched upon his skin, he found comfort in the warm embrace of his friends. There was nothing he loved more than seeing them happy, finally able to stop all the violence and just live a little. Healing was difficult, but together they could face whatever the world had to throw at them. 

Over and over again.

“Lost in thought?”

Staring out at the lake, Yeonjun smiled softly.

“I just really like seeing them happy.”

Taehyun and Kai sat on the edge of the water, their hands tightly intertwined. The pair gazed upon the sparkling lake and pink sky, watching as the water gradually consumed the daylight. It was an immense change of scenery from what they were used to, but it was very calming.

The pair were still recovering, both having suffered immense trauma and long term damage from the incident. Taehyun had lost most of his sight in one eye. And whilst it didn’t seem to bother him too much, Kai couldn’t help but feel responsible for it. 

It had taken some time to get used to it all, especially with a couple broken ribs and wounds healing along the way. Yet Taehyun was content with being alive. That was all that mattered. 

He felt glad that he had suffered the most physical injuries, not Kai. Even though Kai had escaped with only a scar on his lip, the mental impact of the incident had damaged him tremendously. He had lots of nightmares, but nothing that Taehyun couldn’t handle. 

As long as they still had each other, everything would work out in the end. 

“Are you sleepy, Kai? Do you wanna go back in?”

Kai stretched his arms, letting a yawn escape from his lips. He hadn’t been sleeping particularly well, so his body was running on empty. 

“Not yet. I wanna see the sunset.”

Taehyun had never noticed how beautiful Kai’s eyes were before, how much they glistened in the fading daylight. It made him want to see them even closer. There was something about them that never seemed to end, the boy becoming bewitched by their stunning gaze almost immediately. He couldn’t take his eyes off them.

For so long, Taehyun had been confused with his feelings. He had tried to ignore them, attempted to push away the little twinges that plagued his mind. He wanted to try it out, just once, answer the constant questions that his mind asked. 

He wanted to kiss him.

Before he could stop to think, he found himself leaning in. Their lips brushed together gently, a short, sharp spark forming between them. It was nothing like Taehyun had imagined, nothing that he had ever wished for. 

He hated it.

“Oh my god. Nope. No. Never again.”

Taehyun pulled away instantly as if his lips had suffered from an electric shock. It felt completely wrong, something he never wanted to relive ever again. 

“Let’s forget that ever happened.”

A similar distaste upon his face, Kai cleared his throat. 

“Agreed.”

Tears brimming his eyes, Yeonjun burst into laughter. He found their awkwardness incredibly hilarious, especially from a distance. 

“What are you laughing at, huh?”

Taehyun spun around, a light dusting of embarrassment across his cheeks. Although he would never admit it, he loved being able to spend time with Yeonjun causally. He looked up to him like an older brother, trusted him with his life. And even though he technically was his boss, it didn’t stop him from teasing him. 

“At least I had the guts to try it! Unlike some people-”

“I don’t know what you mean!”

Crossing his arms, Yeonjun avoided eye contact. He knew exactly what Taehyun meant, yet he wanted to avoid thinking about it as much as possible. He wasn’t sure what love really consisted of. But if the rapid beating of his heart was real, he was willing to try it out, just once. 

“You’re not fooling anyone Yeonjun!”

Yeonjun could hear Beomgyu laughing from under the oak tree, Taehyun and Kai giggling in the distance. It warmed his not so frozen heart once more. It had been a hard year, yet being able to bask in each others company without fear was incredible.

He wanted to bring as much happiness to their lives as possible. They had done so much for him, stood by his side through his selfish endeavours and cruel mistakes. The least he could do was offer them sanctuary, give them time to truly live how they desired. For the first time in his life, Yeonjun wanted to show he cared.

“I…”

Putting his drink upon the table, Yeonjun took a deep inhale. He had to be brave. He had to take the first step towards his new life, his new self. No longer would he trap his emotions inside a cage, or hide the love that resonated in his heart. 

He wanted to be honest with himself.

"You?"

Taking hold of Soobin's hands with care, he stared into his beautiful brown eyes. He had so much he wanted to say, so many things that he wanted to get across. Yet now the time came, he couldn't find the words at all. 

“Oh fuck it.”

Yeonjun placed his lips onto Soobin's gently, feeling their plumpness and softness against his own. It reminded him fondly of home, a warm blanket of safety wrapped around his body. They melted together smoothly like chocolate, perfectly fitting into one another.

Soobin tasted like fresh lemonade on an autumn evening, sweet and addictive. Yeonjun pulled him closer by the waist, let the movement of his lips tell everything that he needed to. It felt like fireworks on new years day, a new beginning to their lives once more. 

He was home.

As they parted for air, Soobin’s smile told Yeonjun everything he needed to know. Things were how they were meant to be. Even if their lives were crazy, they still had each other to rely on.

And Yeonjun couldn’t help but think that maybe, just maybe, he shouldn’t give up on humanity just yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end. Thank you for reading Misanthropy! 
> 
> Honestly, I have so many people that I want to thank, but I'll try and keep this as brief as possible. Feel free to leave any questions/comments you might have below or @ me on Twitter (@angstyun) and I'll try and answer as many as I can! 
> 
> First of all, I want to thank you for reading. This has been one of the hardest projects I have ever taken on, and it has been extremely challenging at times to push through. The support I have received has been more than I ever expected, and it means the whole world to me. This story will always hold a special place in my heart. If it wasn’t for the readers, I definitely would not be writing this message right now. I want to thank those who left kind comments or messages on Twitter because those really motivated me and put a smile on my face. Thank you so so much.
> 
> To my biggest supporter Nabé, thank you for everything she has done for me over the last 8 months. It’s been crazy, and I really would not have got this far without your constant support and encouragement. Thank you for proofreading, giving advice and motivating me to keep going. You’ve been my rock throughout this process, and I cannot thank you enough.
> 
> To Yeonrice, thank you for all your support. When I started posting Misanthropy in April, I was super unconfident in my writing and I was super terrified of putting my work out there. Your encouragement and enjoyment of it motivated me through the hardest part of writing Misanthropy. I remember celebrating 100 hits with you, and it was so special to me. So thank you so much for everything.
> 
> To Faith, thank you for being one of my biggest supporters from the very beginning. You’ve been there for me since chapter 1 and always shown me so much love. Your enthusiasm and love for Misanthropy motivated me, reassuring me that at least one person out there loved my work. I cannot thank you enough.
> 
> To Yeonwoty, thank you for laughing with me and enjoying my spoilers. It was so funny to talk about Misanthropy with you and to share my worries and concerns. I feel honoured that you wanted writing advice from me and supported me. Thank you!
> 
> To Dan Official Fanclub, thank you for making me feel comfortable in writing again. You helped me get through a tough time whilst writing and encouraged me to keep going. The praise you gave my writing really motivated me, so thank you! It means a lot to me.
> 
> To Clem and Kat, thank you. I cannot put into words how much you have done for me over the last couple of months. Misanthropy would not be here today if it wasn’t for your constant love and support. You have made me laugh like no other over this fic, made me feel so proud of myself for everything I have accomplished. I can never repay the constant love you have shown my writing and the confidence that you have given me. Without you, I would have definitely unpublished this story a long time ago. Thank you for motivating me, encouraging me and staying with me on this long journey. I love you. 
> 
> To Gaja, thank you so much for all your artwork. I can’t tell you how happy I was when I received my first ever piece of fanart. It really made me so overjoyed and I literally burst into tears over it. It means so much to me and every single piece you’ve drawn has been just incredible. Your kind words and sweet messages always helped to keep me motivated. Thank you.
> 
> To Private tl, thank you for putting up with me. I have been super loud and annoying on tl so thank you dealing with me for so long. I also want to thank every single one of you who has supported me and sent me messages of encouragement when I’ve felt like giving it. It means so much to me.
> 
> To the #antimegan club, thank you! You have provided me with so much joy and laughter over the last couple of months. Your support has been immense, and I loved hearing all your theories and ideas. It meant a lot to me that so many people wanted to come together and support me. So thank you from the bottom of my heart.
> 
> To the Pirate gc, thank you so much. You have provided me with so much love and support, and I cannot ever thank you enough for everything you’ve done for me. You encouraged me and boosted my spirits when I felt like just giving everything up. Misanthropy was possible because of your continued love and support. Thank you.
> 
> Finally, I just want to say another big thank you to everybody who has sent love my way. Please feel free to leave anything you’d like to say below, including any questions you might have about the Misanthropy plot, characters etc. I’ll try to answer as many as I can.
> 
> For one final time, thank you for reading Misanthropy.
> 
> \- Megan
> 
> (P.S. No promises, but I may drop some side stories from the Misanthropy Universe next year so look out for those if you’re interested)


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